I relapsed again. My fault, I thought I could handle it. And we ALL KNOW one is never just one and one time is never just one time. Trying not to hate myself too much. Here’s to starting again
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Time to get back on the horse. Any thoughts on what you plan to do different next time? 
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Well…you learned a lesson…safe to say a lesson most of us had to learn the hard way.
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Bookmark this post or write a list of what drinking brings you…this really helped me stay focused when I would think, ‘just one or two’. We need to remember why we wanted sobriety in the first place. The gifts of sobriety far outweigh anything that alcohol pretends to offer.
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Maybe try a meeting help me stay sober wish you well
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I obviously don’t know much about your experience.
But something somebody said on this forum back when I joined has only really just started to come home to me.
Getting sober is a life changing experience!
At first I thought, yeah, just change my routine a bit, don’t go to the pub, shop somewhere different etc etc.
Actually, I’m finding out now that it really is a life changing experience in that I’m seeing elements of my life in a totally different light.
The most important of all being that I don’t drink anymore. And I know I can’t ever, after 2 years of trying, be a “normal” drinker
And I accept that!
I get the voice, tempting me to drink, but these days it’s not as strong as it was. My inner voice, my faith in myself, my HP, call it what you want, is louder these days.
But I also know that I should never loose sight of what could happen if I have one drink.
Have you a plan, or program that you use, have you tried AA.
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Out of curiosity, what is your definition of relapse? It seems that people on the forum define it differently, but for you does it mean one sip, a few drinks, a weekend bender? If you define it loosely, maybe making it a more rigid threshold might help you from slipping over the edge?
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Thanks guys for the replies. It feels so good to know you’re out there. I thought I could go to a bar and be around drunk people but I can’t which I know is probably stupid of me to say. But my social life is going to my local bar. You’re right, it’s a LIFE change and I have to realise I can’t keep going to the bar, even for a meal. The temptation is too big. I need to change my routine if I want to be sober which I do. I’m so glad this forums here!
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To me a relapse starts before the first drink. When I start romanticizing and fantasizing about a drink, how many I could potentially have, how to hide my obvious drunkenness, all the lying to cover it up. Thats the relapse to me. In that way I have relapsed into my old thoughts and behaviors, I have lost sight of where and how far I’ve come.
To me sobriety is so much more than just not drinking or plugging the jug, it’s a full life transformation from what I was, it’s being who I always wanted to be.
Take what you want and leave the rest, these are merely my thoughts.
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I agree with this 
. I do something very similar, and when any of those feelings come up, I get myself out of it however I can. Great post.
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Good point! That’s a better way to think about it.
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You talk so much sense 
Thank you
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Day two, feeling pretty down and lonely today. Just thought I’d check in…don’t know what to do with myself!
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Is there anything you would like to do. Or anyone you can go and see.
Maybe go for a walk. Watch a film or something.
Dont hate yourself please. I fantasized that i could drink moderately but for us its not possible. If we could deink moderately we wouldnt be here. Just remember the feeling of relapse and keep going. You got this!!!
This is a great post! I felt the same feeling that you have when I just relapsed on February 19th. It was awful, loneliness, fear, anxiety, resentment, regret, anger…I’m a feeling person. A mixed bag. But what I knew was I didn’t want to do it anymore or feel those feelings and I had so much to live for and be grateful in my life. I have more reasons not to drink than to drink and sometimes we just have to remind ourselves of this on a daily basis. I love this topic forum and I wish you peace and serenity. I love the learning a new lifestyle and have to listen to the message being delivered here. Thank you for your post and stay strong!
Here is one of my favorite threads for early sobriety help. Hope you find it as inspiring and helpful as I did!
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Honestly , to tell you I started recently going to AA and in this time I haven’t had a tought of drinking, went to bars for a coffee , restaurants for dinner , there is no fight or urge , gone.
Preventing relapses is hard and exausting work.
Living sober is much easier and nicer.
Just a bit of effort.
I had the most wonderful day today, nothing changed externally but my inner situation is better.
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Maybe try a meeting they help wish you well
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Thank you for all your positivity and replies. It really does mean the world to know you are out there. I’m on DAY 4 and thought I’d check in. Love and positive vibes to you all 
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