I relapsed and I hit it hard. I’m away from my kid for work and the pain of being away from him sent me down a spiral. I started with mimosas at a friend’s house. That turned into white claws and then some voodoo ranger ipa so I was completely smashed. Made an ass out of myself, my friend kicked me out so I went home and as usual acted a fool. I messaged strangers and talked absolute nonsense, mostly sexual stuff. FaceTimed complete strangers and indulged in some inappropriate behavior I’m not proud of. Woke up this morning with my hands trembling. I hate the way I feel right now. I’ve managed to alienate more ppl. And above it all it’s just humiliating. I feel like a garbage person. How can I stop? This only ever happens when I drink. Sometimes I convince myself I have it under control. I don’t. I am an alcoholic sex addict and I don’t want to keep doing this.
… so you stop drinking. 
There’s an expression:
Getting healthy (sober) is simple, but not easy.
Think of how true that is. It’s simple: you stop drinking, and you stop digging yourself into holes.
To really be healthy and stay that way though, you gotta do some deep work in your heart and your habits, and you’re gonna have to change some things. It will be hard. It will take effort and you’ll have to be persistent.
Your addict voice will whisper and try to lure you back. You’ll have to reach out for help and use techniques to get your feet back on the ground, to stay healthy (clean and sober).
You can learn how to do this by talking with other people on the road of sobriety. For me this happened in groups. Like you, sexual acting out is part of my addiction. I got to a sex addiction treatment clinic in my city for help.
This is a good list of programs for sex addiction recovery. Join one of them:
There are alcohol programs too, like www.AA.org or www.SMARTRecovery.org. There are in person groups and online too:
Another resource is the people here on Talking Sober. They’re a huge help - there’s a lot of wisdom here. Check in & keep connected:
Checking in daily to maintain focus #46
Nothing good comes from the booze or the sexual acting out, ever. I know that lying addict voice says “oh it’s sunny let’s drink” or “wouldn’t that be nice” or whatever other bullshit, but that’s the addiction talking. You need to stand up to that voice and defuse it, disempower it, so that it doesn’t control you and destroy your relationships, your heart, and every person and every thing that matters to you.
Is booze worth throwing away your relationships with family and friends? Is any of that sexual acting out worth anything? Ever? No. It’s shit, it’s poison.
To fix this you’re gonna have to do some things that will make you uncomfortable and you won’t want to do them. Generally speaking at this point if you don’t want to do something, it’s a pretty good sign you should probably do it. Get used to “riding the wave” of being uncomfortable - that’s how you grow.
You are changing your life. It is simple but it is not easy. Dig deep and ask for help and do it every day, one day at a time, starting today. There’s a meeting tonight - search at the links above - go to it and tell us how it went.
One day at a time.