I relapsed, it's hard to write this

my fiancé and I were sober together for a while but the other night we both relapsed at his parents house… it turned into a really bad fight we were throwing things at each other I hurt my head badly don’t remember how, but I think his mom even had to help me up to bed or his dad maybe even carried me. I didn’t ask… just don’t even want to know…

what I didn’t know is that my man went drunk driving that night and hit a tree. I woke up the next morning and he was asleep in the the floor thank god he could have died that night and I would’ve blamed myself forever because I’m the one that pressured him to break sobriety. now we’re dealing with 1000s of dollars of damage to his truck and the fact that his parents see me as a drunken idiot that hurt their son.

this is the biggest wakeup call of my life. three days sober now, the thought of that poison makes me so angry and ill I’ll do whatever it takes to get it out of my life for good


Sorry you relapsed, its none of my business but i say out of experience, 2 alcoholics in a relationship is not good, my cousin who was an alcoholic was strangled to death by her partner when they both got drunk and into a fight , why not get clean separately and then come back together after a certain time period if you both still feel the same about each other


Here’s what got me sober.

30 day’s inpatient rehab followed by 6 months of IOP.

I went to AA daily, got a sponsor, work the steps. 5 years later and I’m still involved in AA.

I had a 1:1 counselor.

Treated my mental health with therapy and medication when needed. Still use therapy as needed.

Moved into sober living.

Things I didn’t do:

  • make excuses
  • say no to things in recovery
  • think I had it all figured out.

So many of us have been through all of this. Here are your “stats”

When I got here, i was on here every day. I read every thread I could. There is a tremendous amount of advice.

I found a recovery program. I started out with AA. I now am in Recovery Dharma…that is only 2 of so many programs.


I found this forum at 100 days sober. I have visited almost every day since then. I have been sober the entire time. That cannot possibly be a coincidence.


I was sober for a couple days when I found this community, but I only visited a couple of times and well, I went back to drinking.

Months later, I came back to this community after I was sober for a week and visited nearly everyday since, been sober the whole time. No coincidence.

@seaglass - keep coming back here, everyday and see what happens.


ok I will :slight_smile:


We can choose our rock bottom, or it can choose us. Your bottom can be you had an embarrassing argument with your SO, and had to be put in bed by another. Your boyfriend wrecked his truck, and will now have to deal with the financial costs, as well as the concerns of his parents, as to the suitability of his SO…you.

Now consider how bad it could have been. You could have injured your brain permanently. What if it wasn’t his parents who put you in bed, and instead was a stranger or acquaintance who decided to take advantage of your state? What if you were in the vehicle with him, when he wrecked? What if he hadn’t walked away from the wreck, or had gotten arrested? What if he’d killed or injured someone? It could have been much, much worse.

You both have individual, personal choices to make. You can choose this to be as bad as it gets, or you can keep tempting fate, keep drinking, and see just how bad it can get. It can get really bad.

I chose the moment I could see the sadness in my wife’s eyes, that she was starting to let go of us. She is the best part of my life. Always has been. The thought of losing her because I was choosing to drink was enough for me to say, “never again”, and actually mean it, and it was enough for me to be willing to do anything and everything to get and stay sober. It was a hard enough bottom for me.

Like so many of my sober brothers and sisters in this community, I lived on this forum for my first several months. I came read and learned and interacted with beautiful souls who know exactly how I was feeling, and are always there to help. It’s been over 5 years since my last drink, and I’ve come here at least once almost every day since. Coincidence? I submit: no, it is not.


I read hope in this. This is the wake-up call you needed. You are blessed your man comes away alive and no one else hurt. Just a bit of pride.

Use this.

Resources for our recovery


I know how hard it is to get back on the horse after a relapse, but looks like you have an opportunity to keep working on this issue. Things could have gone a lot worse and luckyly that wasn´t the case, i hope this wake-up call gives you the strentgh you need to get better.
Best wishes to you.
Stay Strong!


You deserve to be sober, loved and happy. We are human, it’s hard. What’s done is done, but you can focus on what you can do today to be sober, and live your life healthy and in joy with the ones you love :heart: wake up each day with that focus. Perhaps even seek out a community for support like AA or Smart Recovery or one of the many others :slightly_smiling_face:

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I’m meeting people in different stages of recovery and one big take away is this: do the work every day. My friend Eddie just hit 20 years of sobriety. He treats each day just like his first day of sobriety. Wish you well.


I keep relapsing. I just can’t seem to get it through my think skull that i cant drink like a normal person. Im here again at work with a hang over. Why do i listen to that voice in my head that always try to convince me to have a drink.

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Hey Liz. I know you’ve heard this before, but nothing changes if nothing changes. What are you doing to support your sobriety now and what can you add to it going forward to make you successful. Speaking from experience, those relapses are only going to get worse and worse with lower and lower bottoms. It’s so much better on the other side. Please let us know how we can help if you are seeking it.

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I think i need someone to talk to on a regular base. Like a sober buddy or a sponsor might be helpful. I also believe in need to get some books people have recomended on here. I want a sober life. Im so much better sober but i always give in. I feel so weak and ashamed


The shame will pass as you embrace living a sober life in recovery. And guess what. . . You are worthy and deserving of that beautiful sober life. You’ve got a good plan. If you decide to participate in AA, there is a women in AA private DM group with lots of wisdom and experience of how that program worked for them. You are a courageous person. Keep coming back.

Yes im interested in this women

How do i get in touch with this woman

The easy way for women to stop drinking by Allen Carr


I’ll see how to get you added. I’d love to hear how your first meetings go. I hope you can embrace the program with a good group locally to support you.