I think I totally fucked up

You didn’t fuck up anything. But maybe it’s time to distract your focus from her. I totally know this feeling. “Just because something needs to be told, doesn’t mean it needs to be heard.”

7 Likes

I gotcha bro. Yes a very dangerous risk I took, not so much with my sobriety but my heart. Thanks again :sunglasses::metal:t2:

1 Like

I think most of us have felt what you’re feeling, Rob. I know I have and it took a long time to get on the other side of it.
Maybe my heart has hardened a little, but my hope is if she doesn’t reach out that you can truly put it behind you. You’re doing amazing things and this seems to keep you stagnant.
Much love for you brother, you’re an inspiration here. :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

2 Likes

I don’t think there’s a risk. I don’t think you have fucked up. Drinking or using would be a fuck-up. You have sent out ripples and can just wait for them to come back. She can only hurt your feelings if you let her ie you can only hurt yourself and if you do, then people here are right that you need to love yourself first. :pray:

2 Likes

If its nostalgia due to hearing the song, especially with your wedding date coming up your emotions will be on overdrive, perhaps she thinking the same? You could send her a message to say your thinking of her and wish her well. We just don’t want to see you hurt and falling down, you are doing great with your soberility. Whatever you decide I hope it works out for you :blue_heart:

3 Likes

Awww thank you @anon79808082 yeah I really love her and like I was saying earlier that I’m going to learn a lesson either way. Either it will be that it was a sign and I did the right thing towards reconnecting with her about working things out and we will be together again OR it will be a sign from the Universe teaching me not to believe in signs anymore. It’s fucked up but funny a little bit. Thanks Donna​:sunglasses::metal:t2::heart:

1 Like

Thank you @Piglet I appreciate the support!

1 Like

Thank you @bluebell this is all I sent her:

”So I walked into a store today and Sign of the times by Harry Stiles was playing and it reminded me of you so I thought I’d say hi and I hope you’re doing well.”

That’s it

1 Like

Ok @undercoverkuscheltie I understand. I have deleted the message off my messenger so I don’t keep looking back to see if she read it or not. I’m officially letting whatever happens happens and not pray for any outcome. I’ve calmed down a lot and I don’t think I fucked up anymore as I did it with a good heart and with good intentions. Time for me to let go of the results. Thank you so much!

2 Likes

You did it… overthinking it will only stress you out.
There are two decisions now; if your ex doesnt contact back, you know that’s it the door for that relationship is done for now and you need to carry on with the amazing recovery you are doing and keep your posistive mindset as only good will come from you making yourself better. If you spiral from not getting that contact it’s only you who it hurts and damages your mindset on pushing forward.

The 2nd outcome is yes she gets back in contact but where does that road take you and that is a decision only you can make… I know that feeling of loneliness is deep and it hurts you to the core and all you want is your person back in your life but remember that the emotions your ex may have may not be what you think… yes you’ve done great in your recovery but people who dont have this disease see it in a different way, please be aware of the raw emotions your ex will have for the situation that came about…

5 Likes

Holy shit @Tomek that was deep af!

1 Like

Beautifully said x

2 Likes

Only advice I can give is follow your heart but take your brain with you. Your a smart guy Rob and it’s ok to reach out. Just be cautious and know what your number one priority is… and that’s staying sober. Everything else will work it’s self out. :blush::heart:

4 Likes

Shit @anon27760155 you’re right and that makes so much sense. I haven’t really tried to reach out to her and I was doing really good with sticking with it. Today it was just so fucking weird with that random song playing at that random moment when I walked in. I don’t know, I’m a hopeless romantic and I hope I didn’t ruin her day. I didn’t think about the horrible feelings it might give her of me messaging her. That was really selfish of me.

1 Like

Thank you @Dragonflygirl82 I guess it is what it is. I’m so grateful for you and everyone else here I’m truly blessed.

1 Like

Ok so she just messaged me back and this is what she said:

6 Likes

And this is what I said in return. I’m so bad at writing my feelings was this to much or to stupid???

8 Likes

It’s authentic, not stupid at all! Don’t over think it now, just breathe and let it be what it will be, one day at a time. :heart: This is where the magic can happen! Keep calm, focused on healing you and not getting attached to outcomes. It creates space for those kinds of great things to come back in as we release our old patterns. This is all what I have found to be true for me anyway. Good luck!

3 Likes

Thank you so much @MandiH!

Thanks @CapriciousCapricorn I really appreciate you!

1 Like