I have some bad news…I have relapsed early this morning im truly sorry
What lead to the relapse?
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It’s okay it happens don’t say sorry whatever LED you up to this relapse or trigger this relapse stay away from it sometimes you got to take yourself at places people and things to protect your sobriety it’s okay you got this I believe in you
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Honestly it was the voices in my head that lead me and the urge was very strong so strong that I couldn’t resist. Im truly sorry 
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This is the “craving” phenomenon. It’s something that is unique to addicts: the complete loss of personal control when the craving is active. It’s like it suffocates you until you get your fix - but ironically the fix creates more craving.
Sorry to hear about your relapse. Have you thought about joining some groups to get more interpersonal accountability? There’s a list here: Resources for our recovery
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If I may ask what kind of groups?
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Addiction recovery groups. Groups of people, all of whom have been in active addiction at one time or another. They meet regularly and they learn together, and by learning with an open mind from people who have walked the path before, people like you and me, who need to learn, can get ourselves clean by putting in the work.
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Have you considered talking to a mental health professional about the hallucinations? there could be other contributing factors (depression/anxiety/ptsd) feeding your compulsion to use. IfI were you, I would go talk to someone if possible.
I take mental health meds and attend therapy regularly, many of us do.
Make a change 
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I have talked to several in the past and it was a horrible experience.Thank you for the advice
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I have schzophrania
You need to know
You are brave
You are strong
You are safe
No fear
Nothing matters but right here and right now
Give things you can’t control to your higher power
My auditory hullusanations are my own thoughts camouflaged as other voices
Being afraid of something can trigger them
Even nerve endings in our brains can end near our ears making if feel like we can hear our thoughts by our ears
Unfortunately you self harmed thismornnng from a thought you had
Not your fault. You have mental health conditions.
Not doing self harm is better then doing it
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but we can’t give up where there is a will there is a way and we have to keep trying different things to help us in recovery.
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