I can’t believe I’ve done it again I couldn’t keep my demons at bay. It always seems to happen right when I need to get it together and show up and take care of my responsibilities and prove to everyone else that I’m not just that junkie they all think I am I can be a good mom, keep a job, move into my own place pay bills follow a budget keep up with all the appointments and activities and everything else.
I can’t keep doing this where I live in the past few weeks 26 people have been taken to soon. Some I knew personally some that left behind children just like I would if I keep going the way I am
All that is hard Krystal…i know cos ive done it myself! I see where you are only mine was drink not drugs…its hard being a single parent struggling with all the judgement on you! It doesnt matter about anyone else at the moment this is about you…your an addict not some kind of monster…im sending you some big hugs a love…as @Faugxh said you can absolutely do this xxx
You are at the right place Krystal, we are ore where just were you are now.
A crossroad.
A crossroad where you have to make a choice.
And I think you just did by coming here hasn’t it?
So welcome on the sober path. The bad news is: it will be difficult at the begining, but the good new is that you can do it! It is manageble, but you need some help too. Can you go to a meeting for instance? Ore an online meeting maybe? It makes this road a bit easier by doing that. Here you find recourses for it if you like:
In this thread you will find also recovery books, podcasts as well as meetings and stuff, very helpful.
I’m addicted to alcohol and sober for a while now with the help of this app. So I was and am here a lot. Connection is key!
Read that statement every time you have a thought of using. Addiction wants us dead. Fight those urges like your life depends on it because it does.
Make a plan for your recovery and take action. What can you do today? How about going to a meeting? If you can’t get to one in person, there are plenty on line.
You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t want help. So listen to these people and follow their lead. Their advice and instructions just might save your life. Lives change in here and in the rooms of AA/NA. Seek out a licensed therapist that specializes in substance abuse. Figure out why you use in the first place; what happened? Dig it all up. You’re not alone. Be safe.
I have dug it all back up I was sober off everything not even prescribed unnecessary medication but then I met with my new psychiatrist and in the short time we spoke I broke down went right back to the place I’ve been running from trying to heal from. And then BAM our meeting was over and I was left spiraling out of control and then it started my birthday was a joke my family bailed on me basically no one was there for me and then someone stopped and asked if they could do anything to help me and the rest is just a blur till the next day
You know, in order to “heal” re learn to live w your past and become a person who can live in your own life, you have to go to these places, many times over. But this should happen in long term therapy, where you know you won’t be dropped but someone will help you through the prorcess, not in a one off w a psychiatrist and they should also have known that.
It sounds like you’ve already taken steps and have been on your journey. Which is fantastic. So now is about recalibrating, making a new plan and sticking to it, odaat.
I’m sorry that you felt abandoned. That must have been frustrating. It sounds like you’re not exactly holding yourself accountable. Are all those people the ones who made the decision for you to relapse? If not, then who did make that decision? We can’t control the world around us but what we can control is our own actions and reactions to the world around us.
