I want to be accountable to someone

Today I made an account here for support & advice for being/staying sober. Wine is my substance of choice but most types of alcohol would do.

I’m 6 days sober & feel that I can’t do it all by myself.

Everyone I know either drinks, smokes joints or takes other drugs recreationally.

I have nobody to be accountable to apart from myself.

Several times over the past few years I’ve discussed with family members & friends about become sober and their reaction usually goes along the lines of “you’re not an alcoholic”, “you’re being selfish”, “you don’t drink that much” all the while not knowing how much I actually drank.

I just want one person in my life that I can make a promise to try do better at being sober, one person I don’t want to disappoint, ones person to apologise to if I slip.

Re: me being selfish wanting to quit drinking, this came from drinking buddies who basically felt I was abandoning them & they’d be left drinking without me. Each person who made this statement came to me later to apologise realising they were being irrational & it was a knee jerk statement.


I cannot say enough good thing about AA. You’re not just fine one person, but a community of amazing people who know exactly what you’re going through. Seriously amazing and I’m convinced now more than ever that it’s truly the best thing to get and stay sober!!


I’m always here if you need someone to talk to, you can never have to many people that support you and genuinely care for you… your never alone


Thank you so much Joy. I suppose I’m feeling a little lost at the minute. I will look into local groups, I 100% want to stop drinking & it’s difficult doing it alone x


Sorry so many typos!!! :woman_facepalming:t3:

Hi Lisa, and welcome. I’m sorry your friends said you were selfish, and I’m glad that they apologized. It is impossible for most people to attain long term sobriety without community. I have 3: this forum and app, my local AA home group, and The Luckiest Club. I also read a lot of quit lit and listen to sobriety podcasts. This is just what works for me right now. I’m struggled for years trying to get and stay sober. Glad you are here.


I found accountability by going to AA meetings and making some new friends. I have 4 that I meet with regularly outside of meetings and text daily. Another form of my accountability is to come here daily. There’s a great check in thread on here that helped me in the early days. Here’s the link. Checking in daily to maintain focus #31


Welcome. Why limit yourself to one accountability partner, when you can have literally hundreds here on TS? Accountability, empathy, and a whole stand of fans cheering your every victory, large and small!

Maybe join one of the daily check-in threads, or start your own. Believe me, if you are a regular here and you miss a few days, others notice and start reaching out.


Good network is needed youl find them at meetings still have friend decades later . wish you well


You got so many good responses here!! It sounds like your friends did the right thing later, that’s a plus. None of us are perfect or say the right thing all the time. Owning up to our mistakes is so healthy. All that said, it can and does feel strange when we are making a HUGE life change and our friends and loved ones are not. It is a huge shift, not just for ourselves, but also for our loved ones, friends and family. It takes time and adjustments for all. Some friends can hang with and stay on your journey with you, others we say goodbye to. That’s okay.

Wanting to build a sober network is healthy. And look!!! Here we are!!! :grinning_face_with_smiling_eyes: We are happy to be your support and vice versa. As others said and I have heard, meetings can also be a huge support for some people. For others, like myself, I found this forum and held on for dear life. The beauty is you can do both! Or either or whatever works for you. Asking the questions, posting here, looking and attending a meeting…all solid choices to find and work on your accountability. Keep reaching out…here and IRL. :heart:


Thank you all for your support & suggestions, I’m not here 24 hours yet & I’m so happy I decided to join. I’ve tried quitting by myself and failed too many time. I just want to get my life back & stop hating myself because of alcohol :heart:


We hear you!! That’s what brought us here as well. We all deserve a healthy healing life. Sobriety can be an incredible gift to yourself. :heart: We are all so lucky to have this place.


Welcome to talking sober! I missed your post when you originally posted but I guess you have 1 week sober now? That’s amazing….congrats!

This is an incredible community and I know for a fact that I would not have been able to maintain my sobriety without the support of the people here.

Stick around!


Thank you @Nordique. My 7th day of sobriety ends tonight, luckily I’m working until 2am so no chance of my falling off the wagon today :smiley:


That’s great, I have to always keep myself busy too. Boredom is the silent killer for my sobriety.


Find a sponsor you can contact on a daily basis, online meetings,do whatever it takes to stay sober, and don’t pick up no matter what !..:fist_right::fist_left:

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