Thank you. Your kindness and kindness from others here help so much. Maybe because you listen. I find my AA Meetings give me pleasure just for that reason. They are happy to see me. It can’t be because I toss a dollar in the kitty they seem sincere.
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I’m a husband, 29 yrs and going. Dare i say to my wife the things you said he said. My parents treated each other like crap until one day they didn’t. But the damage was done to each other beyond repair. No one can heal faster than their body allows them to. He’s throwing this words around
Maybe he needs to go to a meeting and get his attitude in check.
Get to a meeting. Get safe. Work your program
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Thank you. Yes kindness has alluded us. I take partial blame because of drinking. I have not been present, Now I am and sober but kind of crippled with movement. At AA it says keep coming back it works, My first relationship was 35 years . 9 years here hoping for more.
Thank you for sharing and caring.
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That’s good hope for more, may i suggest , hope for today
Use all the tools you have ON your fingertips
One day at a time. Easy does it. 35yrs is a long time.
But 9 years of threat of divorce and my way or the hiway is easily more tedious than any person can stand.
You seem like a well preserved person
Put yourself first.
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Anyone who has the my way or the hiway attitude can fro! No reason to act that way. Take care of yourself so you can heal. 
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On to better things,
- what are you doing for yourself
- how do you feel right now. Not today. Right now
- do you have a sponsor
- do you journal
Place yourself first in the winning position.
Let’s do this
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Sorry to hear that healing is slower than wanted. I imagine the stressful situation may be adding to that. I do know it takes me so much longer these days to recover from anything. Be gentle with yourself and rest as much as you can. I am sorry about the situation with your husband.
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Doing for myself - not much lately. 73 days sober
Yes I have a sponsor - she had hoped I was zooming meetings since I cannot attend one right now. Am planning on driving to my meeting Monday pain or no pain
How do I feel. I let spouse make me feel like a disappointment and failure as a wife. Can’t help those feelings as I am reminded constantly I am not fulfilling his expectations.
Journal - mostly here. I have a therapist I meet weekly - I write a lot before and during session. I shared with spouse about some humor I shared with therapist and he says therapy not working if I am only laughing and joking. He forgets I have attempted self harm numerous times in the past and to actually laugh is progress.
I am in a spot emotionally financially and physically. No way want to drink not one craving. This in itself is a victory. I am in touch with GOD. I PRAY ALL THE TIME FOR STRENGTH, WISDOM and a bit of assistance during my current crisis. I look forward to a day of complete acceptance and joy with my spouse.
Thank you…
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Update. Daughter dropped off dogs today for us to sit with. Husband reminded daughter she has HIS two bowls. Funny? Right!
Starting out a good day. Hip pain really less.
Have a great sober day.
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Happy you’re in less pain today! Hoping your day is good. Calm and low stress!!!
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Have you told your husband to not use your baking stuff for the pets?
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No I have turned that statement over to God. Like I have mentioned I am trying to save a broken marriage. Griping about his usage of kitchen items for anything would start a new conflict. Daughters two dogs came today and needed food bowls. Guess what? Yep more kitchen bowls used for them. I actually suggested which ones.
These dogs are a Doberman and a mastiff plastic would last last about 5 minutes.
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I feel like you are just being walked over and should stick up for yourself. Saving a marriage at the expense of your own boundaries is a personal choice that only you can count the cost of, but if this is so important to you your husband should be capable of respecting that.
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Thank you. I went into relationship eyes opened . Wasn’t drinking. It is true I am silent at this time. Everyday is a challenge. I feel perseverance and get the house organized may help. Also environment is allowing me to recover and heal. Hubby gone 4 days out of the week. Give me time to reflect but need to get chores done.
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Ps . Really tough to admit but current life is so much better than the earlier one. 35 year marriage should have ended so much sooner than it did. . I find happiness here. And I don’t want to jump in the river. Which by the way I literally did last year. Long story!
↔ 
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You have always seemed like a nice lady who deserves good things…
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Thank you. I always thought I treated others well. Yes I put their needs first. I had a friend accuse me of being altruistic. I had to look it up and yep that is me. All and all don’t think it is a bad characteristic.
My fishing mentor has neighbors on his street who take advantage of him to a fault. He literally does yardwork for the entire block and missed the last week of great fishing helping clean out a neighbor’s house after they died. I tell him that all these people are just taking advantage of him but it doesn’t register…Oh well…
Oddly enough he also has over 20 years sober. I didn’t even know that about him till long after I met him since we only usually talk about fishing and not personal stuff.
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Nice story. Thank you
That’s what’s awesome about anonymity. It’s personal and treasure it when someone shares that about themselves
Especially since you had no clue
Awesome
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