We have been seperated for a year. We have been working on things for about a couple months. But, i feel i am doing most of the work. He has been recording every conversation even while we are workinf on our relationship. We both agreed to leave the past in the past and move forward. But, i still see no change coming from him. I found a note book in his truck that said “she uses my daughter” against me. He was creating a list about me. I want him to have a good bond with his daughter. I do not “use my daughter” to get to him. It just really concerns me. Then he says stuff like, “you always assume the worst in me” “you do not trust me”… um… i wonder why? Am i the wrong one?
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I know how hard it is to be a single parent, and to put up with stuff so the child has a family.
Bu of this was me I’d run so far in the opposite direction.
He is abusing you mentally. He see that your doing well and he slowly pulling down each layer of you making you feel you have no self worth.
This could easily turn Into a damaging situation and I think you deserve to be loved for who you are.
Thi is how it happens slowly bringing you down to nothing, when you should be being applauded for being strong.
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I feel like i cannot have a normal conversation because i dont know why he is recording me. I feel very uncomfortable during each conversation. Like he is in complete control over what i can talk about. I just do not understand why he is doing it in the first place. I thought we were suppose to be working on our relationship? I have asked him to please stop, because it makes me lose trust in him. He disregards what i say and continues to record. One day i asked if he was recording me and he replied “everytime” in a creepy way…
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Youre so right. He had already destroyed me once… and, i came back fighting for my life back. He entered back into my life when he seen me become happier. I have a issue with allowing myself to live a happy life. I am so use to things being crappy. I allow the crap to happen, then one day i snap. I dont want to lose myself, again. I will not let him destroy what i have worked so hard to get back. He turned me into a person i hated.
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Sadly there are some really abusive people in the world.
They have different motives, they seek revenge just for hurting their egos.
The thing is normal people can’t comprehend how serious it is what they are capable of, because our brains arent wired like that, we wouldnt treat another like that so find it hard to believe someone one do it us.
They think things and belittle us that we couldn’t ever imagine because we dont think like this. Its easy for us to brush it off like oh I misread the situation when really your gut is telling you they are capable of bad things.
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Thank you for helping me. Seriously, youre so right. He is mentally abusing me and manipulating me. I am going to protect myself and take a leap back and protect my growth. I am not a perfect person, and trust me I have done wrong, but my initial intentions are to not harm anyone. I generally want the best for others.
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Hey listen be kind to yourself okay 
These types of situations leave us feeling we have kept doing something wrong or we arent good enough. They dont make us feel this bad about ourselves over night it’s a long slow emotional process.
You are good enough, and you have done one of the most amazing things turning your life around.
We are all human and we all mistakes but to have someone constantly waiting for something to dig at you about it is not fair.
Even him wanting to try and repair the relationship is probably because the past year he realised no one wants to be around him and he is very much alone, and his deflecting this on to you by making slowly pushing you to break.
You know maybe get on you tube and watch a few documentarys about narcissistic people and how they prey on kinder softer people all for their own gain. Really this may be what you need to watch a few of to think about the red flags they warn of and the way there plan is to bring you down. It’s a serious type of abuse, I just thinking a few documentarys will help you to see the similarities and how bad it is what they do.
As when it’s you it’s happening to, it’s not so easy to see, especially when you love that person too.
You hav all my support 
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I cant think of any reason to record a conversation other than trying to prove something to a court. Telling the person I’m recording it would prevent the person from talking openly about anything. It doesn’t make any sense.
That sounds like a lifetime of walking on eggshells to me.
Be true to you.
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I appreciate it! I just feel off lately and disappointed in myself. I feel used by him. I honestly feel like i could puke at the moment. Its frightening for me to let this all sink in. That he is infact seeking revenge towards me. I feel like i am being judged by every thing i say or do.
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Maybe it is best if i take a break from discussing this topic & focus on the positive side of life. Its getting me worked up and making me feel sick to my stomch.
Thank you for all the support. This app is amazing. I really appreciate it!
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Just be safe xx and cautious.
Your not doing anything wrong bo matter how much he tried to make you believe that.
If he is trying to use something against you, he doesnt have it yet.
Stay sober stay strong remember how you felt this past year, all that self achievement just think of that.
I know for me “one day at a time” works for me in all areas of my life, even my mental health
‘just for today’
maybe try using this to build the separation between you both of you, just think about today how you can live s happy day with your child that doesnt Include him trying to ruin who you are and how far you have come.
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It kind of all just smacked me in the face. I will take your advice and focus on all the stuff i overcame this past year and stop trying to please him. My mental health is not worth “keeping my family together”. I feel so crummy. Ugh. It will be ok, though. Yep… one day at a time. I just need to rid the toxicity that I allowed back into my mind. Thank you so much!!!
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I think your inner strength is great, just you wanting think about the positives is exactly what you should do.
Concentrate on what’s good, because you have done well the past year, so know you are a strong woman, and reaching out for advice, although difficult to read replys you still have, and you a so much stronger than you think, give it a few days of having that space and you will start to remember your worth.
I’m here if you need me lots of hugs
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You nickname says it all……
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Your feelings are totally valid. What he’s doing is creepy and controlling.
Time to go.
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What are your plans s for today?
I had big plans to cook on the bbq, and just enjoy the sun and fresh air but I feel a bit achy and unwell and not very hungry.
But I will get some meditation and reading in the garden done so I feel like I have done something that’s kind for myself.
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I have a lot going on today. My daughter goes with her dad for the weekend and i picked up a 5.5 hour shift tonight. I am a nursing student, a stay at home mom and work every weekend to support us. I have been tossing around the idea of going for a bike ride with my daughter this afternoon. I am trying to focus on the positives & not let myself get in thd pits. I REALLY dislike weekends and my dsughter being almost two hours from me. I try and think about hoe it is important for her to see her dad and other family. Im just still feeling down about everything.
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You will get through this.
When my kids used to go with their dad on weekends I was so lost, i didnt know how to be just me, i only new how to be a mum caring for them, planning activities.
When they used to go I felt so empty but at the same time thought they are having fun it’s not about me.
Try and stop worrying if you can .
We are all here to help you get through the weekend if you need us.
Hold your head up your a great woman doing a great job.
Do you have any friends you can visit over the weekend, do something nice for yourself.
Oh and forgot to say congratulations on your year sober that’s amazing I’m coming up to a year I’m 309 days .
To me a good night in is reading in the garden or bi ge watching a tv series whilst having the odd face time with family. How exciting 
.
I do enjoy it though, I get very lonely but I come here when I’m happy and when I’m sad and the help and support is amazing here. So glad that your here too.
We are in different time zones I think,
I’m in the UK. So its 16:10pm.
Feeling abit stuck today and achey to cook, but I know once I start it il enjoy it.
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Sadly, i will be working the entire weekend. 1700-2230 this evening, then 0600-1300, 1400-2200 tomorrow and 0600 to 1800 on Sunday. It keeps me busy. Not much time for sleep, though. And, i was able to get outside and enjoy the warm weather with my daughter before she goes for the weekend. I am taking your advice and taking things step by step and day by day. I did break down and cry earlier in my room, but i am not letting it ruin my day.
I am so thankful to have this app. It is such a positive and supportive part of my life. Thank you for checking in on me today. It is very nice of you! And, i am from the U.S. I live in the central time zone. As i write, it is 1552.
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I think it is a sign… maybe i should take my own advice huh?
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