Quit Smoking cigarettes is hard.
I am a lot ChainSmoking the Last Time. But now i must Safe Money. Since Last Week 4 Packs of Filter cigarettes, e cigarette, 1 Pack of Tabacco and now cheap Trash cigarillos 
Since i Go down with my Medication against the Stress.
Maybe i make a list of smoked cigarettes daily.
I know what is helping me is this:
1.) properly medicated.
I’m on a SNRI and an anxiety medication which I use PRN. It’s hydroxyzine (which is essentially an antihistamine, so it’s non-habit forming and doesn’t interact with my medication).
This allows me to be properly medically balanced. I now don’t need to supplement my dopamine hits with cigarettes.
2.) routine
It’s important for me to have a flexible routine. I used to be very rigid in my routine, and life doesn’t work that way. So, it would throw me off balance easily. Now, I have an outline for how I’d like my day to be. As long as I protect what is valuable to me, I’m not thrown off balance when shit happens. For example, I’d like to start a pot of coffee as soon as I wake up. However, sometimes my dogs desperately need to go outside first. So, as long as I get coffee on at some point in the morning — it’s still a routine. Be flexible!
3.) connection
Find a healthy community to plug into to help you reach your goals. Whether it’s many people or a few people, make sure that it is something that helps you feel connected, valued, heard, seen, and validated.
4.) be kind to yourself!
Try to reframe your perspectives to be positive and self-loving. Treat yourself as you would a best friend—because you should be!
Yes damn medikenet you Smoke Like a muffler for dopamine Levels
This Song on Point
I know sad reality
But i love music it ist therapy for my
Sometimes you must Take it with a Smile even in hard Times
This song just proves that we substitute our lack of meaningful connection with our addictions.
I’m so sorry that you’re walking through a valley. Keep walking my friend. You’re not walking alone. I believe in you! I 
do.
Look at what you’ve accomplished so far!
Yes! Hope you also keep Going your way!
WE have the Power to make IT!!!
43 days PMO-free
1 day smoke-free
There were moments that I thought about smoking. They were just thoughts. I didn’t physically crave them nor did I mentally want them. They were just thoughts. Like, when I got in the car or after eating or when I felt bored; and I just started talking through what I wanted instead. For example, I like to have a cup of tea before bed. While laying in bed reading, I thought about going out for my “last cigarette of the day”. I caught it mid-thought and said no, I’d rather have my tea. So I got up, made my tea, and went to bed. No stress, no worries.
I’m going to try to make some money by “donating” my plasma. I had an inner-city girl once tell me: don’t let a crackhead hustle harder than you, and even though it still makes me laugh, there’s a kernel of truth in it. Wishing isn’t going to pay my bills, and I can pray for potatoes but if I don’t plow the fields and plant them first…what do I expect?!
I’m in this weird place in my grieving and sobriety where I am lazier than I have been in many years. I usually go-go-go, do this and do that, and hardly rest. Now I’m bed rotting and couch loafing. I can’t remember diddly squat and I lack so much motivation. Just getting into the shower is a big deal some days.
I hope this passes… I’d like to start going to the gym soon.
44 days PMO-free
2 days smoke-free
There were times when I caught myself wanting to have a cigarette. Each time I ended up doing something else, or even ignoring those thoughts. At one point, I got overwhelmed by fear and stress and wanted to grab one. I stopped myself. I said, I’ll still be scared and stressed, but then I’ll also be disappointed, so I decided to pop a mint into my mouth and I started to pray. I gave those feelings to God and trusted He’d sort out the things I don’t have control over.
Last night I had a beautiful salad. Instead of croutons and deceptively fatty dressing, I topped it with fruits and nuts with a light vinaigrette. Yum!
I’m trying to honor my Year of Health Restoration. One thing at a time though. Baby steps eventually turn into sprints. So, I’m going to do things differently this time: I’m going to do it right. 
My goal is to be a sexy mofo at the end of the year. And, everyone that didn’t want to talk to my fat ass throughout the year can sulk in my rejections. 
I hope everyone has a beautiful day. I finally got a therapist and have my first meeting in a couple of hours. I hope we click!
Well… I saw my therapist and then promptly smoked.
Am I disappointed? Yes.
Am I going to let it drag me down? Nope!
I’ve looked at what caused the slip and have thought of fail-safe’s to put into action.
I CAN AND WILL STAY QUIT
45 days PMO-free
I’ve reset my 
timer.
I wasn’t going to publish this until I had a full day under my belt. But, I kept thinking how dishonest that is for myself and for my viewers.
Addiction is difficult, and being so is a struggle.
I wrestled with PMO for two decades. I’ve done everything from flagellate myself with a belt in the secrecy of my bedroom to praised it as “normal” and “human”. Yet, what happened 45 days ago for me to let go and let God? It’s not simple. There wasn’t a universal formula I can give that will cure PMO addiction. For me, it’s been a series of processes and events peppered throughout those 2 decades culminating in the longest I’ve ever gone without it.
And now, here I am almost to 2 decades of smoking. Almost two decades of quitting, stumbling, and falling. But, by God, I’m not giving up. I’m not surrendering to something I have control over. I’ve experienced highs and lows, epiphanies and confusions. They’re all a part of the events and processes of sobriety.
So, I’m not going to wait to share a victory with you all. I’m not going to allow myself to fall into the heresy that social media has imbibed us to follow: namely, by alienating others’ struggles by only posting the glories of my life.
I’m imperfect; blemished and fallible.
I’m struggling. I’m struggling to finally let go and let God. I’m back to being a nonsmoker, an ex-smoker. And, by God, I will continue to be one.
It is because I have you all that I can and will.
So, here I am being as transparent as I can be. Trying to live out my own advice, lest I be a hypocrite.
I hope you all have a beautiful and sober day!
46 days PMO-free
I’m currently smoking a cigarette, looking out at the beautiful dawn, and enjoying the perfectly crescent moon.
For the last two hours I have been doing some Bible study. I have more mental clarity in the mornings, so I’m trying to get back into the routine of praying and studying in the mornings again.
I’m not doing so well. I have been feeling very emotional lately. I have no doubt that it’s grief; but, something is whispering that it’s deeper. There is a deeper longing in me that has yet to be fulfilled. It’s a type of restlessness. I am not a lugubrious person by nature; I’ve been accused of having “an extra laugh gene”. Yet, I have been feeling dismal.
I have hope for Heaven. Yet, it seems like whenever I try to advance myself, to get ahead in life, I am thrown back and back. I’m not okay with settling for less. Yet I’m wearying of the struggle.
This too must pass.
So, I look out at the gorgeous dawn and wait for the sun to figuratively kiss my days with it’s presence.
I’m struggling with feelings of loneliness, poor self-everything, and ennui.
I want to be able to enjoy these things that bring me joy. But, I just want to bed rot.
Is this the after effect of having to constantly be on the go last year?
Or am I stuck in a defeated body? Am I going down with the ship?
I don’t know what I’m feeling… the only way I’ve been able to describe it is “everything and nothing, all at the same time”.
I’m tired.
In the spirit of transparency and of accountability, I will publish my smoking timer. I am currently at:
25 minutes smoke-free
I’m not actually “ready”, per se. However, as I’ve stated before, I don’t believe I’ll ever be truly ready. What I am is desirous and willing.
I need to be more congruous with my whole being. There are still too many interior dissonances, and I believe that’s what’s at the heart of this malaise. It’s as if I am subconsciously slowly myself down and taking my own advice: don’t just do something, stand there.
I’ve slowed down so much that I am being forced to look inwardly. I’m trying to save myself on a subconscious level, and I think that’s really powerful and beautiful. In the quiet, almost celestial part of my heart, I can finally hear God whispering: now be and let Me.
I would be remise if I didn’t acknowledge God’s hand in this slowing down; it would be foolish of me to not see my guardian angel guiding me through this.
Am I still feeling those things that I felt only a couple hours ago? Yes.
The thing that I can add is hope.
I’m feeling hopeful in spite of everything. Jesus is my hope and the Rock on which I stand.
When all else fails, just give me Jesus.
48 days PMO-free
I’m currently at a little over 2 hours smoke-free.
I had gotten to 22 hours before I relapsed.
I’m having a difficult time with radical acceptance. This is what it boils down to.
Radically accepting that I’m feeling overwhelmed, stressed, and fearful. Accepting that I will break through those feelings, and that they will pass.
These MASSIVE waves knock me back and I have to restart.
I was in my “feeling brain” yesterday: feeling lethargic and melancholic.
After I got some deep, restful sleep, I awoke and continued smoking. Then I thought: why am I doing this?
So, I put the half used pack of cigarettes in my freezer, hidden behind a plastic container, and restarted my timer. Why did I keep them?
Because I wasn’t ready to throw them out.
I wanted the option to smoke again, and not have to spend more money (that I don’t have) on this insidious addiction.
But… I know better.
I know I have to throw them away, then walk the trash to the dumpster.
And, I will.
Why not now?
I’m currently visiting my Mom and helping her clean her apartment.
I hope you all have a beautiful day.
49 days PMO-free
I am so 
tired of waking up with nightmares and night sweats.
Although, it wasn’t until this last one that I’ve realized what is at the root of them: unresolved hurt caused by my Dad, triggered by Emmett’s passing.
This is the worst
But, at least now I know and can do something about this.
…the worst…
Every feeling of lust is like an unopened bottle of whiskey. You just have to let it go, leave the first glass! Even if it’s sometimes a tough battle with yourself, in the end it drags you down even further until you can’t walk anymore. I’m so glad I kicked my lust to the curb! And it feels so damn good!
I appreciate you.
Although, I’ve never had a tongue for alcohol. So, technically, I’d ignore the whiskey anyway. But, I understand what you’re saying.
I’m glad that you’re feeling better. Beware the pink cloud though! Keep adding tools to your toolbox for when it evaporates.
What do you find is helping you remain sober?
Okay, y’all, listen.
LISTEN LINDA
Y’all..
I made it over a day.
1 Day and 1 hour smoke-free
Plus
50 days PMO-free
Y’all.
Y’all!
This is happening right now.
One week PMO Free 
How exciting! Good for you!