Amen, brother, amen!
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Hey friend! Im just getting caught up on ur thread. How are you doing now? Congratulations on hitting double digits for being nicotine free!!!
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You’re so sweet for even trying to read it. I tend to be logorrheic, especially when I’m feeling emotionally compromised. Hopefully it is suitable for when it’s going to be a while on the toilet and you’ve already read your shampoo’s ingredients. 
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I really am invested in ur life 
I am always cheering u on!!! Wether its on TS or in my mind as I go about my day. I consider u a friend and Im grateful ur here 
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Sameeee!
I literally have to remind myself daily about appropriate boundaries. Because otherwise you’d be getting birthday and Christmas cards! 
I’d probably print off memes and occasionally mail those, too.
There are about 6 people I’d lie to the police for; and you’re definitely one of them!
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I LOVE this!!! U totally made my day with this post hahaha!!! 
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Um, this was for moi too! Thank yew. Amazing.
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Wow, really cool hair! Looking good!
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Ta-da!!!
I LOVE IT!!!
It’s blonde with light pink throughout. It’s my new favorite. I want to keep it like this until I have to find a new hairstyle.
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I just commented your great blonde hair, but this is AWESOME! Suits you perfectly, sir!
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THANK YOU!!!
I AM OBSESSED
I’m going to sculpt myself into something beautiful and desirable. Baby steps. But I’m hopefully going to get there eventually!
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You already are beautiful and desirable, my friend!
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Nice look! Subtle light pink for summer 
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Are you btw going tomorrow with your new hair to Sunday Mass to celebrate the resurrection of Christ? I’m going, can’t wait! It’s my third service this Easter, been the best Easter ever for me!
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I’m so freakin’ happy for you!
Yes. This is permanent color.
I have facial piercings, tattoos, and now pink hair.
They can deal with it. 
Jesus invited me to eat at His table. I’m not going to decline because the servants are petty.
I’m going to celebrate the resurrection of my God and King!
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That’s the spirit, brother! Amen! Proud of ya!
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96 days PMO-free
47 days smoke-free
11 days nicotine-free
I have had a blessed day. My favorite part was the unexpected nap. It’s a holiday weekend, which means my eating is all over the place. I’m trying to stay ahead of a binge; and so far, so good. Nevertheless, it’s still not what I’d like to see.
I’ve got to stay focused and grounded, not hyper-focused and out-of-control.
I need to get back to doing this for health recovery instead of being vain. I could lose 130 pounds, have a ripped body, and be everything I’d wish and it’d still be putting lipstick on a pig. It’s delusional to believe otherwise. So, I’m reframing my journey back to being health focused. I need to be okay with being ugly again. For a hot second I thought I could be something more. 
It trips me up every time!
This is when I want to self-harm…
But I won’t!
And it’s when I remember what I will always look like that I feel a noose around my neck, and I’m reminded that it’s a body memory.
Ugly isn’t enough to die for.
I know that now.
So, I’m going to do what I can to feel confident with what I have and being okay with that which I don’t.
Please, don’t respond to this. Please. Either with a confirmation or a disagreement. I don’t have it in me to read/”hear” either. This is me getting these thoughts and feelings out of my head before I make dinner, so I don’t binge my feelings back deep inside.
I hope y’all have had a beautiful day!
I love y’all…so much.
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97 days PMO-free
48 days smoke-free
12 days nicotine-free
First and foremost y’all: Happy Easter!!!
Christ the Lord is risen today/Alleluia
So, I did my weekly weigh-in and I’m very discouraged.
I didn’t gain or lose anything.
I was at the gym 5 days, yesterday I went twice; and I’ve been doing way more than my FitBit suggests. I am physically sore but I’m showing up anyway.
I’m eating better, and less, and watching my caloric intake, saturated fats, cholesterol, salts, sugars, etc.
Yet, I haven’t gained or loss anything.
I feel like my clothes fit better. But feelings aren’t facts.
I’m am dangerously close to accelerating my eating disorder; morphing it into something more. It’s evident that I can’t eat anything.
I didn’t want to download a calorie tracker because I become obsessed and it only makes my eating disorder worse. I become hyper focused on it. Then literally everything I eat, or just think about, makes me feel guilty and ashamed. So, I’m just going to have to decrease my calories to almost nothing. My metabolism obviously sucks and I already have low-T which doesn’t help.
I’m going to have to be anorexic. It’s the only way to be healthy. I have too much visceral and subcutaneous fat. The data doesn’t lie. I’ll look into how I can make it work so I don’t lose my hair and teeth.
I’m very discouraged.
I was all pumped too thinking I’d definitely have lost weight since I was showing up and crushing it today.
The worst part of it is I’ve been fasting from breads and pastas for Lent! No pizza for 40+ days was REALLY difficult. You’d think I would have lost weight from that alone.
Data doesn’t lie.
I don’t want to slip into SI. (I’d probably snap the rope from being too fat and feel even shittier about myself.) I don’t want to slip into it because I want to live. I’m finally getting what I have been working and wishing for.
I’m so fucking tired of being ugly!
I won’t stay in this immense abyss. It will turn into despair. It will turn into depression. It will turn into a binge episode. I need to do the opposite.
I won’t self-injure, either.
It won’t help.
I just have to face facts.
Fugly Guncle should be my drag name.
I’m going to focus on the beautiful day at hand. Easter is my favorite holiday.
So, I’m going to get ready for Mass, and then the family get-together afterwards.
But I’m not going to deny that I’m very sad about this.
There’s just no other way.
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