ICanAndWill's Touchstone

Good to hear from you :slight_smile:

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I’m glad your here!

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I’m so relieved to hear this! Stay safe :heart:

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Great news, my friend! Stay safe!

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My wife’s 18 month old great-niece passed away this morning. We are all grieving right now. So I might not post for a hot minute.

Keep us all in your prayers. :folded_hands:t2:

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Oh no :cry: I am so sorry to hear this. My deepest condolences to you all :people_hugging:

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I have prayed for you…May you find comfort.

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I’m so sorry. That’s incomprehensible. My heart and prayers go out to you and the family.

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Oh my, so sorry to hear this. You are in my prayers. :folded_hands::heart:

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@ICanAndWill Just wanted to check in on u friend. Hope u are managing everything okay :folded_hands:

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8 days PMO-free.

I have been really struggling with my mental health and SI. I have exhausted all the other medicinal and therapeutic techniques, and finally have come to a final crossroad: ECT or death. Naturally I want to live. So, I messaged my psychiatric nurse practitioner and asked for an outpatient ECT referral. (I’ll go inpatient if I absolutely must, since it’s so close to the holidays.)

I am continuing to smoke. Right now, quitting so many things is overwhelming. It’s like it is a form of self-sabotage removing so many things all at once. So, for now, I will continue focusing on remaining PMO-free. Once I get emotionally stabilized, I will revisit living smoke-free.

I confess that I have removed myself from this community out of shame; but moreover, because when I’m struggling emotionally I withdraw from everything. Everything is exhausting. Talking is exhausting (or in this case writing), and reading even moreso. I feel like an imposter even reading comments of encouragement. I think, I’m not strong enough to deserve such words of encouragement. Then I spiral deeper into despondency and feelings of worthlessness.

However, I know I must stay plugged in to those things that are positive. So, regardless of how I’m feeling, I want to stay on here…regularly. I need it.

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Staying connected here is a valuable resource. I am glad you are here.

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I was thinking of you just the other day and wondering where you are at. Glad you found your way back here. Empathy is not something anyone should feel like they have to earn it in my opinion. The struggle is real and you are doing best you can. :orange_heart:

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I am SOOO glad to see u posting friend. I agree that maybe quitting too many things at once, can be overwhelming. It was for me. I had to quit my worst addiction first (drugs and alcohol), and then once I got a handle on that, I quit smoking cigarettes.

I get that theres feeling of shame and exhuastion right now, but ur doing the right thing by focusing on the positives and pushing thru those feelings. Sometimes we have to do the opposite of what we want do. This place is always here for u and we are all here to support one another.

Im glad to see u back! And Im glad ur looking into treatment. Please continue to check in daily if u can :slight_smile:

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Great decision to come back! We all know this struggle.

Of course you deserve compassion, love and community. No matter what.

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9 days PMO-free

I’m still feeling stuck. I feel like I’m at a crossroad where one side says “no outlet” and the other says “dead end”.

But I have to remind myself of the tattoo I did on myself: th;s too shall pass.

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I’m so very glad to hear from you even if things are hard right now. You are making good decisions, though, by prioritising and taking care of yourself.

Every season ends eventually. It does not feel like it when you’ve been in the rut for a long time. Yet, eventually, there will be a different time. You are laying the groundwork for it with these good decisions. They are small beginnings that will eventually take root and become your future.

Maybe we are not deserving. That’s out for debate. We are still willing to extend grace to you and anyone struggling, because we were once recipients of undeserved grace. If it was somehow deserved, it wouldn’t be grace, it would be pay back.

You belong here. Stay safe.

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Thank you for reminding me of this. That’s so true, and I’ve forgotten that. :people_hugging:

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11 days PMO-free

I don’t usually make it past 10 days. I almost broke last night. But, I realized I was tired and stressed; so I fell asleep to praying the rosary in my head.

It’s currently 5° and snowy outside. Which, is brightening my spirits. I love winter! So I’m going to get ready for church and hope the Good Lord gets me there safely. :crossed_fingers:t2::grimacing::crossed_fingers:t2:

But, watching a car unable to get traction to get out of a parking spot is leading me to believe I might be watching it on television.

I hope you all stay safe and warm today.

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Wow big congratulations on 11 days! You have shown urself that u CAN do this! Proud of you!

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