Im a shitty person. Most people who have been in my life know it as well as i know it. What can i do to change and how could i ever not be a shitty person like i am now?
Thanks.
Work the AA steps. Thatâll make you a better man 
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You arenât a shitty person. If youâre like most, youâre a person who has done shitty things.
The fact that you want to change says a lot about you. This, to me, is another one day a time goal. A work in progress!
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I mentioned to my friend who is 20 years sober that i feel like a fuck up because of all this. He said, brother - canât change what youâve done. Focus on now and getting better.
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Wise words man
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Youâre not a shitty person.
Life happened and you made some bad choices, thatâs it. What we do now does count, let the past where it belongs, in the past 
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Iâve done plenty of shitty things in my life including hurting the one person I loved most in this world. All due to drinking. I donât think youâre a shitty person, you have to first get out of that mindsetâŚyou may have done shitty things but that doesnât define you as a person. What I had to do to get over the hurt and pain I caused was try and make amends with those worth making amends with. If people didnât forgive me, at least I tried. To the rest, fuck the haters. If you spend too much time giving a shit what others thing you wonât spend time working on and fixing yourself.
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Surrender all hope of a better past. Get busy living.
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I know a lot of my friendships and relationships suffered because of my bpd. Alot of that is due to the way i think which isnt right. My SO tends to be a âfavoriteâ and my moods are dictated by this person because i allow it. Which usually can get ugly because i have no empathy⌠Sometimes our addiction can magnify this. Like ive said before if you think your normal and have no mental illnesses your probably in denial. I was for many yearsâŚas many addicts do.
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We can tell you youâre great today till weâre blue in the face. If you want self-esteem, then do esteemable things. Thatâs what this is all about, my friend.
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If you want to be better, decide to be better, and then get after getting better. Sober is better. Start there. Donât let it end there.
Want to feel better about yourself? Help someone else. Mentor a fatherless kid. Coach a youth team. Change the oil on a single momâs car. Weed a widowâs flower garden. People not your thing? Volunteer at an animal shelter or pet adoption agency.
Think less about what you were, and what youâve done, and think more about who you want to be, and what to do to get there.
And be sober. Sober is better.
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I found that doing more for others than for yourself is an good way to balance the space you occupy in the universe.
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Love this philosophy, spot on. Reminds me of the part in the Big Book on sex problems, advising to throw ourselves into helping others so we dont hurt anyone else (especially ourselves)
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Going to meetings, acquiring a sponsor, working the 12 steps of AA/NA, being of service, staying humble and teachable has done my life wonders. Knowing that my higher power is doing for me what I could not do for myself.
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Very helpful, thanks everybodyđ
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