Oh babe — I know how exhausting it can be but I also know that it is possible. I’m on this site so much and see how so many have such beautiful recovery stories and time under their belts…
You are no different and can also be addiction free. Life is all about the lessons - we are forever learning. You have the will and now just have to work on this a bit harder - get more support if needed in real life. Do become more active here. If ever you feel you are about to slip write the word “HELP” on the Checking in daily to maintain focus #55 thread – this site is active 24 hours a day 7 days a week and someone will always be a click away to help.
Giving up addiction(s) and living a sober life is not an easy path we’ve chosen and this path will have many lessons and obstacles - we are growing stronger with each hurdle overcome
You are stronger than your addiction my friend - you can overcome this addiction.