I remember the days of being a stay at home mom “dripping in toddlers.” It can be so lonely and isolating!! It was one of the points my drinking got pretty bad. I was pouring wine mid-morning during nap time! I did an online meeting yesterday and it was nice to just listen to others talk about some struggles, celebrate milestones, and just overall feeling a little less alone in this fight. In the event you want to give it a try, I hope you find one that speaks to you that fits in your schedule! 
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@lorelai @Saturn81 @Amy30 Yes. Their beliefs tend to be outdated, but i think a lot has to do with his emotional damage. His dad was a drug addict. His mom was always leaving him alone to find his dad. I’m surprised he doesn’t drink. I sympathize with him and understand why he ran off to the military. He enlisted right before 9-11 happened. So he was in the war as well. He was there for 4 years. I don’t blame him for not understanding. He just handles his issues differently. Some choose alcohol to cope while others surpress their feelings like him. Anyway, I’ll do this. I know i can and thank you for checking in on me. I’ll be here for anyone that needs to talk as well.
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You did the same as me ,i felt the same way im now 5 days sober again ,picked up on the Thursday after work was ok that day came to my senses on the tues after drinking day to night ,i wish i could have gotten it straight away,guess this is part of my journey, i had nearly 4 months longest ive ever had then i opened up the door again ,guess what im trying to say is i defo get the you can control your choice over whether you have that first drink after that i have no choice, so id rather not make that choice again ,i dont want to keep going through this imakes me feel like shit ,time to practice what i have learnt
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Welcome back Roxanne!
If you’re interested in online meetings, check out the link I posted below. There are AA meetings every other hour. I enjoy the women only meetings that are not AA specific and don’t follow AA traditions. It’s just a bunch of ladies of all addictions supporting each other. What’s nice is you can just listen in, camera off until you feel comfortable sharing. The ladies meetings are Sun, Tues, Wed and Fri nights.
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Active addiction is a weakness/defect of character not finding a fellowship of strength, love and hope. I have learned to stay clean, not for those around me, but for myself. So I do what I must to ensure that happens. The fellowship has taught me to love myself where I’m at and give the same grace to others. There are those who don’t accept that. They are on a fast track to write themselves out of my story. I’m praying for your spiritual empowerment. Keep up the good work!