Just think of this as your rock bottom and put in the foundations to start climbing. What are you going to change? Best of luck
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That’s a lot. Glad you are here!! Have you got all the alcohol out of your house? That is a good start. How about meetings? Many people find help there and it can keep you busy. Maybe take some walks with your daughter when feeling stressed. I am sorry about your mental health struggles, do you have a doctor you can discuss with or a therapist? That might be a good step for you. You can change your life for the better, it is hard work, but believe in yourself. 
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Set a goal, be better today than you were yesterday. You can’t erase the past but you can change today. Offer yourself some grace, you’re flawed like all of us. It is going to be hard, but drinking is hard too. Choose your hard and get the support you need, the people who love you will help you through this painful time.
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Hi Kelly so glad your here, I totally understand and I been there before my self thankgod for mom’s… Your reaching out that’s good meeting’s talk with all sober they get us lol like someone said on here make this your bottom your daughter don’t ever have to see you like that again I wish you the best of luck hon…
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One thing alcoholics and alcohol abusers might not realize is we can choose our rock-bottom, before it chooses us.
Too often we don’t take action until something really bad shakes us enough. A DUI, a Public Intoxication charge, a health emergency, a job loss (especially bad if your profession requires licenses), divorce or social services intervention.
I think back at all the times I should have taken a hard and honest look at my drinking. Fortunately, my drinking didn’t involve permanent consequences. Unfortunately, I almost lost my marriage.
This seems like a good bottom to choose. Work to get and stay sober. Resolve the issues with family services. Say “never again” and each time you are tempted with “maybe just one”, remember how you feel in this moment.
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Welcome Kelly,
Lots of great support here Kelly. I see you’ve already got some good advice. I’m glad you found us. Have a good read around when you got time.
Join in when your comfortable.
Here are two good threads to start:
- Resources for our recovery 3
-
Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers
I hope to see you around.
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Welcome to the community! Read and post a lot here, that’s what got me through my first few weeks 
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Thank you everyone, I’m absolutely on the bottom but ironically all I want do is drink to take all the pain away stupid as that sounds…I won’t but that’s how I feel
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Think it through. Alcohol has never spared you any pain. Sure for a few hours you relax, but that pain is still there in the morning. For me, I look around at all the carnage from the life I drank away, and think “wow, I was lucky that it didn’t go even worse” and I know that if I ever drink again it may well be that things go much worse. It is statistically impossible for anything to improve by drinking.
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I just feel awful in every way possible, embarrassed, upset, guilty, feel like people hate me in my family because I was downright hateful toward them, said awful things, worried, physically horrible, I don’t know how to get through this kind of pain sober anymore, I actually can’t drink…my mum has taken my car key and my best friend is controlling my money for the time being
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People care for you or they wouldn’t be trying to help and protect you Kelly. This is where your work begins. The only way is up. It’s up to you but you sure can’t do it alone. We have to do it together. You need all the help you can get. And drinking sure isn’t helpful. Glad you’re here. You’re not alone. Let’s get to work! Big hugs.
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Ah, good to hear friends and family are helping. I know all those horrible feelings feel permanent, but they are not. Every one of us, and really every person…is a human …and humans make mistakes, sometimes terrible ones…but this is how we learn and grow…thru how we rise up from our lowest lows. I know it seems impossible, but we can and do build back from zero and we can and do go on to live happy healthy healed lives.
Letting go of the crutch and escape of drinking will open a new and yes, possibly scary and unknown world at first, but letting go of the drink can open so many doors and possibilities you never knew existed. For one, you do not have to feel hungover or hangxiety or that shame and guilt ever again.
Hang on and ride thru these early times. They are not easy, but anything worth fighting for usually isn’t easy. Fight for yourself. You deserve better.
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I’m glad I came here, you guys have all really helped me through such a difficult day more than you can all know, thank you. I’ve had the bravery at least today to venture out of the house to walk my dog with my daughter, I bumped into one of my neighbours who I immediately apologised to, she could not have been nicer even gave me a hug, I’ve messaged a couple of others and they too could not have been more understanding so that I guess is another positive from today, most importantly at least I still have my daughter who I’ve remained upbeat outwardly for today even though I’ve felt like I was dying inside, she is my whole world.
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Cunning, baffling, powerful alcohol. Exactly when it should be the last thing on your mind it creeps in. It sounds like most people want to help you, so accept their help. What did the mental health team etc advise or suggest? I am no expert, but think it would look positive to social services if you are following their suggestions. If they weren’t very helpful, trying to sort out your own support (talking to your GP, attending AA) would show that you are taking action and it would never happen again.
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Mental health haven’t gotten back to me yet they said they would, I’ve spent today really low trying to get my head together n concentrating on my little one but definitely intend on getting in touch with them tomorrow for sure, for me and for social to see that I’m getting things in place to help myself and my daughter
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It doesn’t sound stupid at all.
We trained our brain to drink for whatever reason or excuse over many years. I retrained my brain with my gratitude practice every morning since I been sober.
Starting with easy stuff. Like I’m grateful I didn’t drink. I’m grateful for my 2 kids. I’m grateful I’m not hungover. I wake up now excited to write down everything I’m grateful for now that I’m sober. I 
retrained my brain. I did a lot of other work too. But gratitude is one of my strongest tools.
One day at a time.
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Once Child Protective Services is investigating a parent for anything, your best course of action is to go get a professional mental health and substance use disorder assessment and start on whatever program they are recommending. If you have to go to inpatient treatment, you are better off doing it than denying your problem is “that bad” and having additional episodes of drinking and intervention by Child Protective Services. If your investigation proceeds to a court filing, expect the court where you are to require you at that point to do things, so best to get the best services you choose now rather than have the court order you to do services at facilities that they select.
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So today I’m day 5 sober 
I’m so determined to get on track, I’ve been in touch with mental health, gp, alcohol services, downloaded a gratitude app I have to journal thoughts n feelings morning and night n what I’m greatful for etc, I’ve had vitamins every day, eaten good healthy food drank loads of water. My daughter and I had a good walk out yesterday then made cookies . Today I’ve cleaned my house top to bottom and washed and dried the entirety of my little girls school uniform ready for next week. A lady from social is coming to see us next week so I’ve written everything I’ve done to help myself down in a book dates times etc, reckon I can do this 
xxxxx
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Congrats on your 5 days Kelly. There’s a great gratitude thread here if you’re interested.
With a bunch of wonderful people on it. Great way to start the day. Or end it sober.
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Thanks so much Dazercat I will certainly check out the thread , for now I’m simply greatful for having a better day
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