I was so happy about all the warm welcome…
I wasnt strong enough, I really tried. I was down and came back to the bad alcohol.
What are you doing in such moments?
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All you can do is pick yourself back up and learn from it. Try not the fall the same way twice. Stay sober for today and deal with tomorrow when it comes. Best wishes to you
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You are not alone. Many of us had to start over again.
Learn about how addiction works and what you can do to stay strong.
Maybe this thread is helpful for you: Frequently asked questions about sobriety for newcomers
Start working for your sobriety today. You can do it 
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Try again! Dont beat yourself up… sometimes it needs more than one attempt and thats OK!
Hello Sandra,
Of course, you were not strong enough. None of us are. Yes, we are the ones who decide every day to not drink, but to put that intention into action, we all have to turn to a strength outside ourselves.
Whether that is called religion or spirituality or connection or re-education, it is all the same concept. By myself alone, I can endure without alcohol for a day or two or three. But that effort tires me, it exhausts my resources. And for me, abstinence alone with no other changes simply left a hole in my experience that was quickly filled with obsessive thoughts about alcohol, romantic dreams of drinking, and self-pity that I could not participate in the drinking culture. That psychic tension was unsustainable, so I felt compelled to return to the drink.
It was when I got help from outside my own skin that I began to get better. I started with medication (Antabuse/disulfiram) and seeing an alcohol counselor for 1:1 therapy. After a few weeks, I returned to AA (I had been dipping my toe in there for about 18 years) and did the things they suggested to strengthen my sober connections - I joined a “home group” where I committed to attend regularly and to help stage the meetings, I started a relationship with an AA sponsor on implementing the twelve steps, and I began to build a social network of people who were at all stages of sobriety.
From reading “quit lit” books, to participating here on Talking Sober, to AA and similar structured groups (Dharma Recovery, Celebrate Recovery, SMART Recovery are a few), to religious participation, to inpatient rehabilitation to sober living housing, there are many ways to establish that connection and to grow your sobriety. I have tried various ways during my recovery, some I kept and some I discarded. I was happily sober for 12 years before I found Talking Sober, for example, and today it is a key touchpoint of my connection and recovery.
Many people with successful recoveries have a daily routine, usually first thing in the morning, of time to contemplate/meditate/pray, maybe some reading or some journaling. One additional tool I use is an app that sends me a few quotes randomly throughout the day, on the nature of death and the human condition. The object is to build behaviors that encourage a mindset of sobriety, to build attitudes that allow us to handle the little ups and downs of a day free of the obsession with alcohol.
Probably the most important tool for me early on was to overcome my shame and anxiety about calling another member of AA during my day when I felt lost and alone in my struggle against drinking that day. I found I did not even have to mention my difficulty, I only had to talk with another person dedicated to sobriety and that placing the call per se strengthened my resolve for the day. Eventually after some time in sobriety, that daily struggling disappeared. What I know to do today is to continue to grow my sobriety, not merely as a defense against thoughts of drinking but more as a new way of living, new attitudes and emotions and actions that are built on the principles of sobriety, like tolerance and honesty.
You can dedicate yourself today to just getting to the end of this day without drinking, to lay a sober head on your pillow. You will find the path that works for you, and you can get well. Everything is going to be alright. Blessings 
on your house as you begin your sober journey today.
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I live with my brother his wife and 4 kids.
Their going away to Melbourne for 10 days which means I’ll have the place to myself, the old me would be in for some big drinking sessions but I’m pushing 60 days and I’m not going to give that up. The way I approach it lately is I just don’t do it.. simple it may be different because I’ve faced many serious consequences from drinking over my life but I hope others can realise it’s leading you down a path of destruction and affecting your life before it is forced upon you or you decide that you don’t care anymore and let it kill you. The fact you have this app and you gave it a crack is awesome that shows awareness and intention. Keep trying my friend none of us are perfect but good on you for speaking up. Dust yourself off and go again. You are worth it you’ll probably realise your a much cooler person without it that’s what I’m realising Im not boring withought alcahol I’m actually more fun and less depressed.
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Easy a advice
Keep comming back
@SaRi. You are a superstar for comming back
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You already did it. You came back here. We’re in this together and that’s what will make the difference. Next time come here before you drink. Lean on us instead of on the bottle. You can do this but you can’t do it alone. None of us can. That’s why we’re all here. You can do it. Hugs.
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How are you doing? @SaRi