I keep failing to stay sober. I keep wasting my time and money on alcohol and keep using it as a crutch so I dont have to feel. Im worried about losing my job and my place to live. Every day feels so miserable and like there is no way out. Im afraid of what happens if I cant fix this. And I feel so alone all the time. I dont know what Im asking for but I just wanted to say that Im scared.
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Welcome to the forum Alden! Glad to have you with us. This place for me has been the difference between failures before and success with being sober now. You know, reading your post you know exactly what to do. Maybe you’re asking how to quit drinking and be sober. Let me tell you it takes a plan. It takes work. It takes other people to help you. Did you read the first post you saw when you became a member of this forum? It might help.
Indeed I’m still learning to feel. it’s hard work, but it’s worth it, so much so. There is a way out friend. Alcohol makes us believe there isn’t. There is. Together we can do it. Alone it’s too much. So welcome again, and wishing you all success.
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Welcome 
You need help, a plan and do the work. Keep trying.
Sending hugs and encouragement 
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I would suggest getting involved with a program like Alcoholics Anonymous if not AA There is a few other programs for alcohol recovery so you have options. Also look into outpatient services That involve therapy or basically a professional you can talk to that could help you with some tools to stay sober and help you better understand why you keep going back to drinking or continuing to drink. The whole point is so that you’re not doing this by yourself. I want to say that it’s good that you reached out to the community and you’re being honest about your situation and your struggles with drinking. I’ve been there and I know what it’s like when it was ruining my life, relationships, jobs and effecting my health and so many other things but I still Continued to drink even with negative consequences. You don’t have to lose your job or your apartment. You don’t have to have another day of feeling miserable or hung over or full of regret. All you have to do is get through 24 hours without drinking and try your best for today. Keep things simple especially in the beginning. I used to think it would be impossible to be happy content and sober At the same time. It might not be easy. But nothing worthwhile is easy. I also want to say you don’t have to figure everything out today. But I think you made a huge step for your recovery by being honest and talking about what your worries are. Read around on some of the threads and continue to reach out and let us know how things go or how you’re doing. You’re not alone. And things will get better if you put your recovery first. I can’t stress this enough that sobriety and being happy is 100% possible. You can live life without alcohol and exist in this world without it.
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Welcome to the community @Alders15 it’s good to have you here 
I understand when you mention using to hide from or numb feelings, that was me for a long time. It’s important to have support, especially in the beginning, so well done for reaching out here. Lean on this community, read around, ask questions, vent when you need…there’s also online and in person meetings with groups like AA, Refuge Recovery and Recovery Dharma. Just take it one day at a time, you got this 
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Welcome to the community here @Alders15 . A lot of what you have said is very relatable to me . Using alcohol and drugs to numb feelings and cope with literally anything was exactly how I lived for a very long time and you are right it does leave you felling miserable and alone. The good news is you aren’t alone now . You just found a great community full of people who get it. You have already gotten some good advice on how to get this started. I definitely suggest reading the post that @Mno shared if you haven’t already . It’s full of information to help . I hope you choose to stay sober with us all today and I look forward to seeing you around here.
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I to was scared in early sobriety but when i went to a meeting met new like minded people i was no longer alone . wish you well
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Welcome to the forum @Alders15 have you a plan to stay sober, for me I use the forum and attend meetings regularly, for most of us you need to be obsessed with sobriety especially at the start of your journey
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Thank you all for commenting. I dont know what tomorrow will hold but it is good to feel a little less alone. Im going to try looking into AA and seeing where that takes me.
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Hi there,
I know how frustrating it can be to fail to stay sobre over and over again, but you CAN do it. What have you tried previously if you dont mind me asking ? (Feel free to send a PM if you feel the need!)
My longest stint in the last 7 years was a period of 4 months while I was taking leave from work and in an outpatient treatment program for mental health. Unfortunately im not in a position to do that again right now. Smaller periods of time have been me trying to just grin and bear it. Clearly it hasnt worked. I struggle with reaching out for help and often feel extremely embarrassed and shameful about it. I isloate a lot. I havent been able to feel very connected to otherds in a long time.
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I think looking into an AA meeting sounds like a good idea. If you download either the everything AA app or the Big Book App they both have huge lists of online meetings you can log into 24/7 as well if you need it and in person isn’t accessible for you immediately.
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I went to AA for a long time
I haven’t been in person recently because of transportation issues. AA in person will teach you so much. AA in person is so much better then online but Im not saying anything bad about that either. I go to AA online all the time
AA does what I need it to do and I love it
Good luck and welcome to the forum friend
Stay strong
Transportation is my biggest barrier at the moment. But at least there are online meetings.
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Firstly ur not alone. As I’m sat here thinking the same being so lonely. Remember things can only get better. Please reach out to the hotline for alcohol support they will be there. It’s so hard I understand. Please keep busy everytime u crave it. And remember the cravings will pass. Just hold on. We’re all here 247 literally on here. Keep us updated
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I made it to day 3. Its something. It does help that I have no way to purchase any. Still struggling pretty hard across the board but so far Ive made it to 3 days.
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Hey Alden,
Very glad to see you are ok and checking in here with 3 days. I remember very well how tough those really early days are and as long as you stay sober each day you’re doing awesome. Have you had a chance to read around the community here yet? I found spending lots of time here very helpful in those first days. There are lots of helpful info and really great supportive people to chat with if you feel up to it. Sometimes even just scrolling through some of the just for fun threads is great to keep the mind busy. You can do this
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There are so many online support groups! Dont let a car get in your way of opening up! U got this!!
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Showing up in places like this is huge. I feel the same way like everyone else would judge me but in these groups no one is!!
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Figured Id jump back on tonight. I failed pretty quickly and started regularly drinking again. Im back to hour one currently. Im filled with so much self loathing its been pretty scary. I dont know what Im hoping for right now but thats where Im at.
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