So basically my issues with alcohol are that when I drink, I can’t stop and it’s ending up with black out, drinking in morning ect. And I want to stop it. I haven’t have any drink for a while, but yesterday I drank a glass of champagne with my girlfriend. And that’s it. It’s my first new year day when I dont wake up still wasted. And I’m proud, even if I had this little glass. Cause I felt that I want more and I can have more but instead I chose to be with my girlfriend and celebrate year with her without getting wasted. It’s great feeling.
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If you can reliably moderate, I really am happy for you. But if you’ve had this kind of problem with alcohol in the past, I can’t really get excited for you because I’ve seen too many people try to replicate this, believing that they can moderate succesfully, and end up in a full-blown relapse.
I would caution you, because I have on a few occasions done what you describe since developing alcoholism, and it has not turned out well. It didn’t matter how in control I felt at the time, whether I wanted more at the time or not, or anything. It opened the doors for the alcoholic in me to pounce in later. It would be a day, a week, a few weeks, before the single drinks showed themselves to be symptoms of alcoholism lying in wait. So in my life, having a day of being open to any drinking at all was playing a game of Russian roulette. The last time I picked up a drink hoping to emulate that “successful” “just one” drink experience, I ended up in the hospital right quick, within a week if I recall correctly. (and there’s a reason I may not recall it correctly…)
While the concept of moderation is occasionally brought up on the forums here, it’s not this forum is meant for – our goal is to stop using. Celebrating using is not going to be well received. It’s actually in the forum rules, but you may have missed it if you were just scanning them: Forum Rules and Guidelines
However, this forum can be a great resource for you if you want to stop drinking. Heaps of emotional support and golden advice from diverse sobriety journeys can be had. Welcome.
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This is progress and progress is good, but it’s only as good as your goal.
If your goal is to run a mile, and you manage a half-mile today, be sure to try to run the full mile tomorrow. If you only get 3/4 of the mile, it’s still progress, but 1/4 of a mile is not.
Where people fail is when they decide that a mile is too far, and lower their goal to whatever they’ve managed to hit so far. 3/4, becomes 1/2, becomes 1/4, and they pat themselves on the back, each time they underachieve.
Applied to alcohol, if your goal is 100% abstinence, than stick to it. Keep striving for it. “I won’t drink today”. That’s the goal. If you used to begin the day this way, and ended up plastered, this isn’t progress. But, if you drank the last 5 days, and managed to stay sober today, then it is. Now do it again tomorrow, and the day after, and so on. Say “no” to the drink that matters…the first drink, and you win 100% of the time. Say “yes” and you endanger your forward progress.
It’s on my list, which is in the case marked “Break Glass In Case Of Relapse”. It says “before you say yes to a drink, go to a meeting.”
I think AA is great for people who need it, and I may one day need it, but not this day. I will never bash it, criticize it, or discount the efficacy of AA.
But what is missing from my “program”?
-I am a person of faith, in daily communion with my higher power.
-I have set rules, boundaries and guardrails that I rigidly enforce. I am uncompromising when it comes to my desire to never drink again.
-I have people to whom I hold myself accountable.
-And I understand and accept that circumstances can change. Life could one day decide to take a giant crap on me, and I could start thinking a drink might help. I have a plan for this: Go to a meeting.
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Sound reasoning, indeed. Here’s mine for not going just yet:
AA is my next escalation: The patient has stopped responding to the current treatment. Time for a more aggressive approach. AA, then therapist, then rehab, then handcuff myself to a water pipe. That’s the escalation plan.
I’m not worried about sharing, or delving into deeper emotions. I look at this like the disease that it is. I am currently in remission, not cured. I will always have the potential to drink again, and the only thing keeping me in remission is my desire not to drink. Currently, my desire, my faith, my family, and my participation here, is sufficient. Should that change, yes, I will start going to meetings, and once I do, it will be what I do to stay in remission.
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I’m not knocking you at all with my question here I’m genuinely interested in your answer, if you can truely moderate then I am truely happy for you. My question is what was it that the one drink achieved? You wouldn’t have been even slightly tipsy from it so it wasn’t a feeling you were looking for and while it may have tasted nice so do many other non alcoholic drinks that don’t carry the risk of stepping back onto the slippery slope back downwards. I’m just wondering what the intended outcome was? Was it to prove to yourself you can moderate, I only ask because I know for me I always drunk to get drunk so to speak so one would never cut the mustard (I most definitely cannot moderate!)
Thank you for all replies and I totally understand your concern. It’s not like I’m bragging that I did control myself. It’s just a some success for myself that I could celebrate New year totally different than I used to. And for question why I had that drink at all, my girlfriend bought a champagne, I did drink for taste and just for sake of celebration. I’ve never been in day to day drink binge and I don’t try to say what I do is safe or recommended. Sorry if I violated rules, I didn’t wanted to encourage anyone to have a drink. I feel so much better without what I’ve experienced before in my life and I hope it won’t happened again cause I hurt my closest many times with stupid thinking, and things I’ve said when I was drunk. And I’m not proud that I had that drink yesterday, I’m proud that for once I knew when to stop.
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It’s too dangerous for a blackout drinker…you should not ingest that first drink because it can lead you to blackout drunkenness again as alcoholism is progressive and once you take that first drink you may risk yourself again. I’d say just don’t take that’s first drink and let your liver and brain heal.
Really! I have been thinking about starting a thread named: WWYSD? Just listing all the golden nuggets that are scattered in this forum.
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