A lot of SMART stuff is available on line too. I’ve used them in the past.
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Sounds exactly like me before I quit. Do it now before you lose your family, and do it most importantly for yourself. Blackouts are not a part of “normal” drinking, but you know that already! Have you thought about going to AA or another type of meeting? There’s also the option of an inpatient program 
I am happy to hear that you are ready to make some changes!
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Sounds like therapy might be a good first step, as well. I went that route this time and it’s been very helpful. My frequency is weekly, which gives me long enough that I have enough to talk about but not too long to where I might be relapsing. I also got a referral to a psychiatrist for a med consultation, which was a good second step for me. Good luck. Chin up. You got this!
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I really dont like talking in groups of people never have but for the most part I just listen and when the time is right i feel it will all spill out of me. Im very reserved so most people must think, what is she doing here? But thats why I enjoyed drinking because it brought me out of my shell and now i realize id rather be in that shell than continue making BAD decisions while drinking. It feels good to know Im not alone.
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Find a friendly face and sit with them. They usually find you first and welcome you and if it’s a big crowd just sit in the back.
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When I first went to A.A. I asked a friend to come with me for moral support and so I wouldn’t chicken out. You don’t need to talk much if you don’t want to…I usually just listen. The people in the rooms are usually very understanding and non judge mental (or so I have found) my advice would be just to try it, with an open mind. If you don’t like it…no harm no foul!
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Thanks. I have read and heard the Big Book 1x each, along with other books. I have the knowledge and support i need, surely by now. My wife, that I love so dear, and put through hell daily, has my back.
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I seriously considering trying a meeting. Thanks everyone
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How are you?
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I said I didn’t like groups, that I’d rather do 1 on 1 with a counselor. What I meant was that groups made me feel accountable, which I didn’t want because I was still drinking, and I thought I could manipulate my therapist. Turns out she knew I was lying, so I failed there too!
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I think I have a plan. It probably sucks and will fail me.
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Sober and many miles from a liquor store. I guess thats as good as it gets for now.
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I really ďöñț like groups. I wish I respected myself enough to hold my own self accountable.
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Groups force me to be accountable. it’s not a question of self respect for me. I’ve spent too many years in denial and self-justification to trust myself to tell me the truth. I need to hear it from others.
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You could try an online meeting first. Just a thought … I use ‘In the Rooms’ they have loads thoughout the day and night and you can remain anonymous if you want and just listen to other people’s experience strength and hope. The speaker meetings are good.
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In the early days this was the person that kept me going. I know that ultimately you have to be honest with yourself and do it for you! But my wife became my accountability buddy. Because even though I didn’t want to let my self down. I didn’t want to loose my family! I drew strength from the fact that one day my family would give up on me. There is only so much that someone can give
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Have you tried exercise for stress relief? It has been life changing for me. I use herbal sedatives as well, they work wonders. Good luck, I’m rooting for ya
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Couldn’t agree more with this. Plus, exercise has the added effect of pumping endorphins into your brain, which can provide some relief from the wd symptoms. On top of that, you start to look better. For those of us that suffer from some level of depression (I’d go out on a limb and say probably at least half of the people on this forum), any boost of confidence in one’s self image can only help.
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So how’s the sobriety going?
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Not well so far, although I havent given up yet. Thanks for checking in.