I'm trying again,

Englishd · February 26, 2019, 4:25am

What do you think is holding you back?

InNeed2 · February 26, 2019, 4:48am

I’m currently NOT sober. That’s the sad part, but I’m beyond coherent in reading this. For the past month I’ve drank more than I can handle. I’ve woken up drunk. Barely managed to function enough to take care of my niece. Have been having both caffeine and alcohol withdrawals . My anxiety has shot through the roof. I’m seizuring and losing sleep. Hyper and then sick as a dog the next minute and can’t bring my self to care anymore than I normally would about myself which is little to none. On top of that my environment is literally aiding it. Im supplied free alcohol everyday at every turn and I’m good at lying to pass it off as happy drunk when really I can feel the strain on my lungs to supply my oxygen. My body heat has felt like it’s doubled. I’ve gained a good bit of weight as a result. Gotten lazier beyond measure and my kidneys are practically crying for help. I cannot pinpoint WHY I want to wreck myself so bad but it’s sad I feel more human when I do. I have this false sense of happiness that I’m okay but then I go and do this shit.

cSaW · February 26, 2019, 7:43am

I honestly don’t know for sure. I know I need to stop. I know my life is better when I do stop. I have every reason to quit booze for good. My concious mind says get sober, but my AV always gets the last word.

Tonia · February 26, 2019, 9:00am

In the end i didn’t want to die. That was the choice I had. So i dragged my ass off to AA. Did so many mtgs (sometimes 3 in a day) in the early days. I also suffer with social anxiety.

I’m 230 days today. I also now dabble in other therapies alongside AA. That’s the freedom I have. Its a wonderful program. One day at a time. I wish you well

Englishd · February 26, 2019, 12:53pm

What things haven’t you tried yet? Maybe they are worth looking in to

cSaW · February 26, 2019, 1:24pm

I havnt tried Aa. My reason for that is my job and family dont leave me much time, but I’m realizing now I will lose both of those anyway if i don’t get clean.

HoofHearted · February 26, 2019, 8:26pm

I say this from experience, if you can find time to drink, you can find time to go to a meeting. I know that excuse, because I’ve said that excuse. You might have to shuffle things around and re-prioritize your todos, but if you want to do it, you’ll find a way.