In reading this you really need to check into rehab. I know you’re financially distressed, but this can’t continue. Money doesn’t matter when you are dead. It’s harsh but that’s the reality. I was in your spot in 2013. Thankfully my therapist called my parents who then got me into rehab. There, they were finally able to get my meds right and on a path that didn’t include suicide, which I had attempted a few months prior. I’m praying for you and strength to do what needs to be done to survive.
That’s the plan tbh because I don’t want to ever feel like that ever again
I am sorry things are still hard but so glad you’re still fighting turn it all around. That one set of actions you say still haunts you and makes you feel gross does not define you as a person. We have all done things we regret. I have several sets of actions I still get caught ruminating about in darker moments. Try to put your focus on what happened after- you fell, but you got up. You got up determined to do better. How we get up makes more of a statement about who we are.
We don’t have rehabs here and the ones we have I can’t afford, I’m trying my best to stay sane with everything happening.
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If i can offer you any advice, suicide is NEVER the answer, i have seen this first hand, and i understand when your mind is racing at a 100 mph because you have a lot going on, but 1 thing i can guarantee is things do get better, maybe not as quick as we would like but eventually, can you seek help with a therapist or your doctor, i have been trying meditation for when i get anxious and my mind is racing, i wish you well
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Suicide’s outcome isn’t a pleasant, I know, I’m still grieving a loss of my best friend but sometimes life just gets low and it just seems like the best option. I’m medicated my Dr. Has increased my doses hoping it would help with my situation but she just thinks my it’s a combination on my bpd and Bipolar having a depressive episode and the things I am going through along with all the issues I’m facing, she wants me to take a break.
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Try dealing with one thing at a time so it does not seem like a mountain to climb, as they say Rome wasn’t built in a day, give yourself a break, go for a nice walk and a coffee or a piece of cake, in my experience the little things can lift our moods, do things each day that make you happy, if there is anything i know is life has a way of falling into place for us eventually, we can’t be happy everyday but we also can’t be sad everyday, that song by Ronan Keating, life is a rollercoaster just have to ride it, things will get better
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That’s what I am trying to do, letting myself do and achieve the smallest tasks. I have been treating myself more, I’ve spent more money than I usually do but I have been taking care of myself more in a way. Been having breakfast almost everyday with a nice cup of coffee which is unlike me. I’m still not doing so great but I’m slowly trying to get myself together.
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Good for you, keep doing it and it will become just like brushing your teeth, self care is so important
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I’m really trying some days it’s easy and other days it’s just unbearable but I’m going to try to keep going, to keep fighting.
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Never give up trying
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I’ll try !! Thank you and I thank everyone her for helping me out and being there for me. I know it’s not easy but thank you I appreciate it. I’m doing what I can to keep fighting.
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Thanks for checking in, buddy. Treat yourself!
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How’s it going? Wishing you peace.
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It’s going well-ish I have been distracting myself with reading and work, it’s stressful but it’s better than thinking or letting my brain wander off. I haven’t attempted nor harmed myself since 22 days ago but the thoughts of doing so are still there, I have been trying my best to keep going and taking it one step at a time and I won’t lie some days are easier than others. I’ve been diagnosed sith a new mental illness and it has helped me in navigating why I am the way I am. I’m much more “sane” but I still have days where it just gets to difficult to even function.
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I am trying my best not to beat myself up over this but you see I come from a broken home and what I did is exactly what happened to my family and I can’t help it but I am trying to tell myself that I didn’t know, I never intended for it, I was just having a normal conversation with a friend but he didn’t see it that way and I was a fool to not see it. It’s hard I’m not going to lie because I just see myself as the red flag I warn people about but I’m trying to give myself a chance even though it’s hard.
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How are you?
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I’m alive a doing alright, thanks for asking.
My Dr. Has changed my meds and they seem to make things more tolerable. I’m still struggling with the self-harm and suicidal thoughts but since my last defeat I haven’t hurt myself or attempted, tho the thoughts have been there.
I’m taking it one day at a time been distracting myself with other things and helping out my friends that need someone to vent too.
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Glad to hear your doing a little better just wanted to check in and let you know that i care 
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Thank you so much! It’s always good to know that people care 
I really appreciate it.
I’m really trying to survive like everyone has told me one step at a time and that’s what I have been doing.
Thank you for being there for me.
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