I just woke up from the most insanely vivid drinking dream. There was probably 200 people in my house everyone was wearing 70s clothes. Stuff was getting broken and thrashed. My baby was underneath the drywall of my closet. Im scared to go back to sleep lol.
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Having lived thru many a party in the 70s, it sounds about right. 
But seriously, vivid dreams can freak you out, maybe a cup of tea to settle yourself. Did you take any new supplements or vitamins before bed? I was taking a probiotic before bed and found it wound my brain up…weird.
Anyway, glad it was just a dream. Tho I miss my old overalls and bell bottoms…not so much the bodysuits or moon shoes. 
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It was like my entire family was there and 30 years younger and it was just absolutely raging party even everybody had their kids and there was no holding back. Its was actually really cool except it was my house getting destroyed. Woke up just freaked out. I had anxiety on saturday and this was the most debilatating relapse i have had. There no more denial. I have a problem. God please help me keep me sober.
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I am sorry about the relapse…sounds like it had an impact though, hopefully a learning experience.
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Somebody on a different forum sent me this youtube audio yesterday. I listened to it before I went to sleep. This mans story had a profoundly deep impact on me.
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Also my sincerest of condolences. You have a lot to be proud of 25 days is awesome!
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Im gonna listen on my way to work. Thanks for posting man. And yeah, there’s some meaning in that dream. In my opinion at least there is. It’s crazy where our mind goes when we take that shit away eh?
Keep fighting bro. Thanks for posting
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There’s meaning in that dream too. I’d say try not to think of it in a pain that he is gone way. Instead try to see it as your father is showing you that he is still with you. He knows your in pain and wants you to know that he loves you and is still in your heart supporting you.
I’m so sorry for your loss pal. Congrats on 25 days. That’s incredible considering you loss. Great great work!
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Thanks buddy. I had an overwhelming feeling of love and respect for my wife for putting up with me while i been going through this stuff. That audio made me realize I have been living for myself when I should be loving and showing gratitude to God for giving me all these beautiful gifts in my life. Happy to share 
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Boom!! That’s a huge frigging deal man! A huge step when you take your self out of it and think about all the others around you. Getting out of self it’s called. I know It was a huge part of my recovery. It helped not only my recovery but my family’s recovery too.
Those wife’s man, I can’t believe they put up with our asses. But the do and that’s amazing
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Talk about an epiphany right! All this reading and listening is seeping in and suddenly I felt like i’m actually worth it! Tell me what you think about the youtube buddy. I’m really happy for you too!
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Hey man, it’s why you hear some people say they are a " Gratful Alcoholic". They say that because of their alcoholism and recovery they were able to see all the blessings in their life that they took for granted. All the blessings they can now create. All because they were an alcoholic. Hence the “Gratful Alcoholic”. At least that’s what I think it means. Lol.
That story is great so far. That dude can defo speak well. I have 35 mins left. And I gotta thank you too cuz listening to that on my 45 minute commute was way better than listening to the news. Lol, the news that just pisses me off.
I think listening to speakers on my way to work is my new thing.
Dude that speech had it all. Loss, failure, humor, helplessness, release from self, spirituality, growth, triumph and more. What I great share. Thanks man, that helped me stay sober today.
PS
I really want to give my wife a kiss after hearing that story. Ha
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Thats exactly how i felt! Just humbled. I had to share, its made at least several people’s day already! Spreading around the forums and paying it forward. Send it to at least two people you know!
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I love his whole approach to God and the Program. He never says anything about church or Jesus or Buddha or any religion period. Just how God (whatever his meaning of God is) put things in his path that helped him grow spiritually. And by extension, helped him stay sober. Helped him to see that amazing things can happen to us if we “can just get out of our own way”.
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God saved that man so that he could deliver that message. Once I believed that, i wasnt scared anymore either. He reminds of my preacher Pastor Bayless. The guy had thrown his life away to drugs and alcohol only to be born again and begin a terrific church. It makes me realize its all out of my hands now. I can just give it up to God and he will be my light and illimunate the darkness.
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So Im awake again with another insanely vivid dream. This time im being chased through an outdoor storage facility like a warehouse by all these top alpha predators. Cheetas, huge jaguars, and rottweilers. I dont know what this means but its starting to be like a normal thing for me. Lol.
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I didn’t even get through it but this was the audio i was listening to before i went to sleep.
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Got back to sleep and had sweat just pouring out of me last night. More weird dreams about my coworker who passed away this year from food addiction.
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