Thank you Starlight 
out of curiosity what happened 10 mts ago? And did it work out or did the relationship disintegrate?
If you don’t feel like sharing, no problem!! The knot in my tummy just wants to know. And try and have some realistic expectations…
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I wasnt actually in a relationship at the time
…when i said it was me 10 months ago i meant the guilty/desperate feeling… this is my first ever post on here and i was absolutely rock bottom. . I havent had a drop of alcohol since…
Im more than happy to share and talk about my experiences if it helps, im completely open and honest these days 
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Oh man, yes… this exact feeling. When did the guilt and embarrassment ease up??
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It took a good while…with each day sober it lifted slightly…i still feel guilty to a degree but we cant ever change the past and what we did we can only sort ourselves out going forward, if it helps i can fish out a list of what i did to get sober?
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ABSOLUTELY. I’ll be in counseling but not for 2 more longgg weeks. I’d love to see the list.
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Ok, here it is…hang with us as much as u need, keep talking and venting, we are all here to help u Roxanne 
I took time off work with ‘depresssion’
Apart from work i was honest with every single person close to me about what was going on
For the first week my mother had my car key and my best friend controlled my money
I came on here every single day, talked and read as much as i could
After a week i had decided that was it and it was my responsibility and mine only wether i drank or not so i got back my car keys and money
I read allen cars easy way to quit drinking which changed my minset about drinking forever
With the help of people on here i made a plan to not be around any kind of drinking for at least 3 months, i didnt keep it in the house, kept away from anywhere that sold alcohol socially and even kept away from the booze aisle in the supermarket
After 3 months and even now im still only around drinking if its with close family and or supportive friends
I watched the Stutz documentary on Netflix
I study positive psychology and work on my self esteem daily
Il be on this journey for the rest of my life, ive accepted that i can never go back to being a normal drinker, if i have 1 drink it will open up the flood gates, luckily i can control not having that first one and for that i am truly grateful
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This is great. Yes, I’m realizing I for a LONG time I will not be able to go to local bars, events, etc. I wouldn’t even tempt myself. Definitely going to check out Easy Way to Quit Drinking got nothing but time and no sleep. 10 months is amazing. I’m definitely using this app as my new crutch 
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It helps me to help you and trust me i absolutely know how u feel, the allen carr easy way i listened to on amazon instead of reading as i wasnt able to focus enough at the time to read but it changed my thinking on drinking forever…go do that asap, i know its hard but try and let go of that guilt for now, take control of it because it only wants to keep you ill…and you are ill…you have a disease like the rest of us but u can over come it and to do that youve got to start being kind to yourself, be your own best mate through this because its hard enough without beating yourself up aswell…try to eat…get b vitamins b12 in particular, milk thistle to support your liver, lots of fluids…try to do that today, dont think just do
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I have everything but milk thistle, I been surviving off protein shakes and I’ll add vitamins today. I think I’ll do the audiobook for my work commute and breaks today. As far as kindness for myself it’s just not possible to ease this guilt yet. I’ve tried to list 3 good things about me and my self loathing is just at it’s peak 
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Youl gain nothing at all from berating yourself it wont change anything or make anything better, you tell that feeling and voice go do one and youl deal with it later and for now you push it back in your mind as far as itl go youve kinda gotta fight it off. You could also try mindfulness for when it starts to come into your head…5 things you can see…5 things you can hear…5 things you can feel. If you cant think of things you like about yourself list down some things that you like to do…that comfort you…fave foods…maybe a hot bath? Fave songs and try to do/have those…list things that you are grateful for aswell. Make being sober and getting your body and mind on an even keel your absolute priority for now xx
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Alright, you’ve convinced me to get out of bed and shower. I have time to at least go for a walk and eat before work I’ll put on allens book and at least zone out that way.
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Good, fresh air and food will do you good, dont go too hard with the walk youl be weak from not eating much, allen is a bit repetitive but keep an open mind to what hes actually saying. You can do this u know but baby steps for now, get the basics down with your eating, fluids and vitamins etc then once you feel a little stronger you can go from there
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You can do this, im here if u need me ok
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Not sleeping was about my feeling I wasn’t living the life my HP wanted me to.
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That’s where I’m at. The incident led me to this sobriety but I’ve been needing this for 20 years. I’m 39 and learning about myself and I’m scared and lost. But, have tools now and going to try AA tomorrow
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I was scared and lost too, thats normal… it can be done though, i think you can do it, if i can you can, sending some hugs your way 
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Allen Carr is a perfect start! 
We are right here with you.
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Putting this on the list too. The overwhelming compassion is CARRYING me through this. This space for addiction is amazing. The thought of drinking nauseates me because of the incident. I need EVERY tool for when the cravings hit next week. 2 weeks has been the longest in 19 years (minus 7-8 mts when I was pregnant).
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I have said it before, and I have to keep saying it- those two books helped me save my life. You can do this, sweet friend!
Have you ever tried tapping (EFT)? It may feel a little weird, kinda kooky at first but give it a try or two, see how you feel afterward. It can be a very helpful tool.
Hang in there. You got this! We are right here with you.
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