Welcome to the community…
I think the first step is to make a plan and quit your addictions (all at once or with a steady plan in place). You will need support as this can not be done alone. Don’t start trying to figure out all the answers like the root cause and all your triggers because this is a lifetime of buildup. For now - focus on staying sober. Focus on gaining support in real life by going to meetings (recovery type or AA) and staying connected here. Focus on changing up your routines and finding ways to keep yourself distracted when you feel the urges.
Remember that it will not be easy - You WILL be uncomfortable and sleep may be an issue (either way too much or none at all)… Your body and mind are going to be detoxing and this process takes time.
Glad that you have found us… you are not alone! This community is super supportive and full of members who are battling or have battled the same struggles.
If find that having a plan and knowing your recovery resources is key - check out these threads:
What’s YOUR plan?
the daily check in thread is also a great space to connect with other members and do a check in (as many times as is necessary) to gain support and stay accountable
Checking in daily to maintain focus #79
I do hope to see you around… take it One Day At A Time!