Hi, I’ll keep this short and sweet… I’m 26 and from the UK. I have made the decision to stop drinking alcohol, the thought of which terrifies me. Who would have thought at 26 years old I would need to cut alcohol from my life. It’s only day 2 but it’s the first time I have ever admitted that it has taken over my life and I am finally ready to make a change.
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How are you doing these days? Are you still sober? I’m going on 2 weeks sober and it’s starting to get easier day by day. The first week was tough! But I’ve been cutting back for a while so it’s not too bad.
Hi my names Anthony 24 years old. Im addicted to Alcohol, Meth, and cocaine. ive been sober for 7 days now. i was in rehab for a month and half and gained 31 days of sobriety until relapsing. got extremely hammered a week ago and caved in. Im still gonna continue the fight to stay sober. I wish in the future to have a wife, kids, and just be happy with my overall life. I dont want to be that grandpa who passes away and cant meet my grandkids. i had that happiness when i was sober for 30 days and im gonna focus on getting it back a step at time.
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I have used the Sober Time app for a while to track my days but today was the first time I really looked at the forum. I’m happy that I did because it’s probably a good idea to have a place to read and write about recovery with others in similar situations.
Anyway,
I’m Emily. I started eating pills (opiates and benzos) when I was about 12yrs old, I started using heroin when I was 19, and crack when I was 20. It is so strange looking back at that time, convinced I was 100% okay, that I wasn’t doing anything wrong, or harmful to myself. I was convinced that I wasn’t a junkie, no way, I was a “functioning addict” - which I now believe is an oxymoron.
I was always a lonely person, no family other than my parents, always had very few friends, and soon the few friends I had were out of my life, and soon after my parents followed. I lived with my boyfriend, who was the one to introduce me to needles, and all day every day was spent trying to get money to buy drugs, trying to find veins to put those drugs in, and complaining about how dealers always seem to take longer the sicker you are. My apartment became the nastiest place I’d ever seen. Blood splatter on all the walls and even the ceiling, the floor was covered in a three inch thick rug made of rigs, moldy bits of food mixed in, and an interesting assortment of bugs mixed in with all of that.
I ended up losing about 50lbs because drugs were much more important than food, and I hardly made enough flying a sign to stay well. I had very few usable veins when I first started using so after four years I had nothing left whatsoever. It took an hour at least to find a spot to hit, and it would most likely end up being an artery or a miss, usually the latter, I had dozens of lumps up and down both arms and for months after I stopped using there were still parts of my arms that were totally hardened. I never showered, my skin was grey, I was just a disgusting, greasy mess that wasn’t even getting high anymore.
I went in and out of the methadone clinic about five times over the years I used, but I kept using H on top of the methadone. Then, after reconnecting with my parents after 13 months of no contact I entered the clinic and actually stopped using everything else -no more pills, no more H, no more crack, no more anything at all. I was proud. Then after being on nothing but methadone for a year, I realized that I needed to get off of it too. I got six take homes a week, but I still knew I was letting a drug run my life, I was letting a drug make me unable to be far from the area for more than six days, I was letting a drug control whether I was sick or not.
Today I am exactly 100 days off of any drugs. I am on some psychiatric medications and go to therapy and recovery groups to work on my mental health. I am working on the reason I began using drugs in the first place. I have a best friend who I love with all my heart who helps me smile on days where I am down, and who has been the person most helpful with my recovery, and he gives me a much better high than any drug ever did. This story sounds very cliché and has a cheesy ending, but that’s what happened. I have no regrets because if I had done something different I may not be where I am now, and I am the happiest I have ever been!
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My name is Jake and I have been sober over 3 years. 1224 days, one day at a time. I’m currently working on kicking the cigarettes (One week today)!
I love reading your stories and I will pray for those of you who need it.
In short, I was adopted at the age of 7. I never really felt like I fit in. I started drinking when I was 13 and doing drugs when I was 14. My first felonies were at the age of 13 and I continued to get in a lot more trouble after that. Spent quite a bit of time locked up, but still managed to get high inside. I was homeless, slept in abandoned houses, ate out of dumpsters when I was actually hungry (meth does that).
I eventually hit a point where I said “I don’t know how to live with this, but I don’t know how to live without this.” That led me down a course to meeting some people like myself that had managed to stay sober. They showed me how they did it and I never lost that gift of desperation.
Please, for those of you struggling to hold on, remember that you are worth it. And find someone that has stayed sober to help you.
A kindergartener can’t learn new stuff from other kindergartners, he’s gotta go talk to first graders!
Today I work in a treatment center to help other people and am going to school for psychology to expand the variety of people I can help.
God bless you all.
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Hello,
This is my first post since finding this Talking Sober forum. I hope I am welcome in sharing a little of my story…
I am a 41 year old male, diagnosed with cirrhosis of the liver. I was only 34 at the time of my diagnosis. I had been drinking morning, day and night for years. I was completely functional at work, had a great job, lived a very fortunate life. But every single thing I did involved alcohol.
I was diagnosed in 2009 and my sobriety date was immediate. 11/30/2009. I am coming up to 7 years alcohol free. I never thought I could live without ever having another drink. In the first 3 years of my sobriety, I lost my mother to cancer, I lost my girlfriend of 8 years, I was laid off, lost my home and became horribly depressed. All I wanted to do was shut off from the world and drink alone. However, I know the consequences of drinking would certainly kill me. But, I am an alcoholic after all and cravings are still there all the time.
I do go to weekly meetings but I am not a religious person. So I have chosen my liver as a power greater than me. (If that’s even allowed, or possible)
I found ways to occupy my time with yoga. It was a major part of my sobriety. I also now volunteer at a California Welcome Center and at our no-kill animal shelter.
Staying busy with any activity is so important when battling addiction. Find something you enjoy and do that thing. A walk, a hike, bike ride, something other than putting one’s self in situations or environments where using is the option.
I am here to maybe make friends and additional support.
Thank you.
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Hi all.
My name is Iain and my journey of drug and alcohol dependence started 17 years ago when i started smoking cannabis(gateway drug apparently) and by the time i reached 21 i had taken base, xtc, crack, coke and mushrooms. I started drinking twice a week high levels, days off work the odd pill here and there. I was smoking cannabis everyday also. By the age of 24 i was drinking and smoking everyday with a few pills thrown in. At the age of 32 i was smoking drinking and snorting coke which had me thinking of death taking my life was a possibillty. I made a decision in November last year to stop drinking and taking class a’s but continued to smoke cannabis until may 16. I have been clean now for nearly 5 months. The hardest thing for me at this moment in time is that life is pretty shit and finding something exciting to do to get that same rush is hard but it was the best decision of my life and i keep going forwards never back…
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Hi! I’m currently battling an addiction to alcohol. I’ve been a "functional alcoholic” for most of my adult life. I was the first in the office and was the last to leave everyday. Even though I described myself as “functional” I was really a zombie running on auto pilot - wake up (drunk), neck a handful of stimulants and a bucket load of coffee, go to work, come home and drink. I couldn’t deal with anything outside of that routine - so when someone at work stole money from me I did nothing. It didn’t even register in my mind.
Come the weekend I would go on a bender with coke and booze. It was a vicious cycle - the more coke I did the more I could drink, the more I drank the more I wanted coke. I managed to cut out coke after it left me so broke that I lost my flat and had to move back in with my parents.
Now I am taking some time out of work to deal with my drinking. I can’t remember the last time I went 48 hours without a drink. I am desperate to stop drinking. Aside from this app/forum I have signed up for counselling.
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I am Casey from Hornell NY. I am a beer drinker. Sitting home and drinking or golfing and drinking are my normal days after work. I am currently on day 3 of no drinking and my body can tell. Time to dry up. Good luck to all!
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Hello, my name is Arturo (can call me Art for short). I’m 32 y/o and live in Mexico. Been struggling with alcoholism pretty much all my life. Started drinking when I was 13-14 y/o but I didn’t became an addiction problem until later on in my life. I realized I had a problem when I was around 19 y/o but at that time still didn’t care. Continued drinking and eventually the consequences for my drinking started to become worse and worse every time, from getting drunk and turning violent, to blacking out for a long time, car accidents, jail time, hospital stays, etc. Lost my family and a lot of jobs. I had 4 years of sobriety back in the days from 2007 to 2011, but mid 2011 I got cocky and drift away from recovery, soon I was back on drinking. Ever since then I’ve been on and off, and every few months I relapse. This last time I noticed the wear on my health, so 1 more time here I am, 19 days sober now and on therapy and treatment.
So basically that’s it.
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I’m Jo from Melbourne Australia. My mother was a binge drinker and from the time I was about 5 I can remember her sitting under a table at a party in the rain…crying and throwing up…so its probably no surprise that I am a binge drinker too. I vowed 4 days ago to stop. Lasted 4 days then the weekend happened. It starts off as a couple.of wine and ends.up 2 bottles later and me feeling revolting the day after-swearing to never do it again. I have.no.off switch so I need to just stop. It annoys me that the tiny voice in my head caves in everytime. Zero willpower. I am so sick of feeling bloated and unmotivated…getting fatter…so it ends today! Finding this group is going to be a great way to finally change my behaviours! So thanks for that!
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Kylie. Australia. Alcoholic. 6 days sober.
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My name is Alex. I am from Germany, currently living in the Netherlands. I was a heavy drinker during all of my youth, had it under control for a couple of years, but the last year Id say my drinking is getting more and more problematic. The biggest problem is that I want to stay away from it, I can manage for a couple of days but eventually I will come back.
So this is maybe the first “serious” attempt to get rid of it for a longer time and I hope to be able to do this, by having a community with you guys and sharing the ideas we have!. So I am 11 hours sober now, and I will take it day by day!
I also have a long background of marijuhana abuse. I really had problems with it once where I ended up in therapy. I think I will share my story on this later in the forum, because I think it will help me to go through all this stuff again and I also think it can help some of you to maybe realte and feel connected.
Thats it for now, have a nice Sunday.
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Hi guys, my name is Erin, i’m 29 years old. I started drinking when i was 18 but nothing got really bad until i was 20 and began drinking in my room alone and hiding my drinking from my roommates. I was an angry drunk and would yell and throw things. It wasn’t until i started a relationship i stopped and calmed down. But then three years ago i started drinking like that again, i didn’t hide it but i became a “functional alcoholic”. I would’t fall down, i wasn’t bothering my roommates, i’d go to bed when i heard them go to bed. But i became destructive both to my health and to people around me who cared about me. I went from drinking heavily on my nights off to every single night. I’d go through handles of cheap liquor a week, spend the last of my money on booze, steal booze from other people. And the final straw was recently when i decided to drive home from a friends house and was pulled over and blew three times the limit but the officer let me go as long as my friend came and picked me up. I could have
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@thebearcbc Addiction is addiction…I am not a “cutter”… I can relate all to well, however, with self harm…putting needles in my arm wasnt self help…if you ever need someone to chat with im here…that goes for anyone reading this also…i dont want to use anymore so im looking for as much positive support as i can find and that is where my selfishness ends…i will reach out to anyone that wants help and help in anyway i can even if all i can do is listen…stay strong and think positive…
Im Michael…34 years old and 53 days sober…first ever attempt at not using drugs or alcohol…I dont ever wanna use again…like everyone else i lost everything but the biggest thing to me was losing myself…i never wanna be that person again…i wanna feel and care that i may hurt someone…that is not my goal but if i do i wanna make quick amends to let that person know that im not scum…i just made a mistake…i am kind and loving…just not when im on drugs…i only care about me when i use and i really dont wanna live that way…i like to succeed at everything i do and this is all about change and i am willing to do whatever it is i need to do to change…thanks for listening…that all for now…
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Thank you…taking it one day at a time and finding this app is a godsend…
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Hi there, I’m 43 years old, happily married, mother to a beautiful 7 year old daughter living in Wellington, New Zealand and I’m an alcoholic (I have only just admitted that to myself) and pokie machine gambling addict (and have known that about myself for many years but have been unable to beat this disease). Both the drinking and the gambling have gone hand in hand since I began pokie gambling in my early 20s. Although I am successful in my career, my gambling and drinking has been the sole reason for me being declared bankrupt earlier this year and losing all of our possessions. My husband has stood by me but has for the final time asked me to sort myself out. … and so, I downloaded the app, created my account to this forum and here I am. I have never been to an AA or GA meeting before despite knowing that I seriously need the support. My biggest reason for not attending is “what if I know someone at the meeting?” New Zealand has 4 million people but there is only 3 degrees of separation here - I know someone who knows someone else who knows someone else, and the that’s it, my whole country is connected! I have never admitted that I have addictions to anyone other than my previous therapist, husband and mother (she also has a gambling addiction). I feel deeply ashamed at my inability to control my addictions. I don’t want to continue putting my family at risk. Does anyone have any advice? Oh and by the way, I’m one day sober and have not spent a cent pokie gambling! The app tells me I’ve saved approx $130 today! Yay! Blessings and encouragement to everyone today!
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Hi I am Kobus from Pretoria. Today I really feel like killing myself. It is 20 years now that I am iddicted to pornography. It drives me crazy. And worst of all is that I like watching gay porn, and I am not even attracted to men. I have a beautiful wife and 2 great little boys. I don’t even feel worthy of being called their dad. I was clean for 35 days, but relapsed again tonight. Will this battle ever end?! I am so gatvol of myself!!!
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Hi. I’m a couple days sober. I had a two day bender after my boss yelled at me this week. Anything triggers wanting to drink for me. Happy, sad, stressed, hormones. There are times I can go 10 days without drinking. Then, times I cant make it two days. I wonder wth happened to me. I’m 43, and I have a lot going for me. I however still carry the stress of divorce after 4 years, and a failed and tulmotous relationship after that for two years. I get really lonely. I think that often plays a huge role in triggering drinking for me. I do stupid things when I’m blacked out drunk. I’ve crossed many lines, and I’m not proud of myself. I used to be able to handle my liquor when i was younger. How come that is? I knew when to stop. Then for a long time I didn’t even drink at all because it just made me tired. I wonder if I can ever be that person again. As an alcoholic now, I place such an importance on this damn stuff! Like, what if I could never drink again?? Oh no! God forbid. Why is it such a big deal to me! I hate how I feel the next day. I’ve wasted so many days feeling like crap and just sick. Not to mention the depression that follows. I know I’ll get past this. I probably need some therapy. The hard part is reaching out.
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