It’s the special occasions that’ll get you Dave, beware!
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Hi, my name is carolina and i am from Medellin,Colombia. I am 36 years old and at the moment i am a homemaker; I have a 23 month old baby. I have been sober for 4 days but this is not the first time i try to quit; i have a long story trying to quit not only alcohol but also drugs and an eating desorder from which i have been sober for almost 2 years now. I have been in and out of hospitals and other institutions i have been sober for months , sometimes even years. But i always relapse. This time has been specially difficult ; i have been drinking alone and almost everyday for around 6 months I have lied to people and hurt people and myself many times and i cant do it anymore. I want something different i want to be the best i can so i can give my son something better; I just feel so sad and depressed. Guilty and bad. I feel im a bad person, i lier and manipulative person. I go to theraphy at least once a week. But sometimes i’m not completely honest. For me it is so hard to break up with my habits and having been thru this for nearly half of my life i feel i dont wanna be like this anymore. Sometimes i just hate myself so much. I feel sick. I dont know what else to say
I just wish it was a bit easier but i know it is what it is. Thanks.
Try AA it will make it easier best of luck
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Hi, My name is Joanna. I signed up to help me control my obsession in getting back with my long distance ex boyfriend and ex fiancé.
My obsession rooted from my childhood to middle age issue of being sexually molested by my relative of same age. I became obsessed with perfection and controlling everything around me that I can, even people.
I often drink alcohol and occasionally smoke cigar hoping to stabilize my anxiety and depression.
My ex broke up with me after I learned that I was his mistress. He is now divorced but still refuse to get back with me. I became and freak and manipulated him to like me again then make him hate me so much…
I want to let go of controlling him, our relationship, my unstable emotions, I want to let go of everything and live by the moment. Learn to respect myself again.
My family,colleagues and friends adore me but somehow that someone who neglects me often makes me happy.
I hope the counter will keep me track.
This is my first step in dealing with my deeply rooted OCD, general anxiety and depression.
Any support will be appreciated. Please dont judge me…
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Hi! I’m new here, too, but so far this doesn’t seem like a judgy place. I hope this environment can help you with your obsession. Recognizing it is a problem is a great step!
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Hi…this is Al. i want to quit drinking and smoking…i have tried quitting many a times and have failed…i have had many embarassing moments due to alcohol yet the very next thing i cling to is alcohol. Its got me into so much of debt that i cant imagine getting out of it…i also tried working out to divert my mind from it. Although after every workout the craving for alcohol kept increasing. Its caused to lie to my family and partner.i still wanna quit alcohol primarily but somehow nothing works and it has caused me lose my temper to an extend now that drinking keeps me cool and without i just rage to glory putting my job and loved ones at stake…i have just started with this app in the hope of gettin some help. Thanks for reading though and any suggestions are always welcome
Al your story is not uncommon at all. In fact very much of it is mine as well. Living in recovery is something you can’t do alone. Trust me I’ve tried. The burden is very hard. They say it takes at least 90 day before the fog even begins to clear. Have you tried to do it any other way than cold turkey?
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Hi everyone. I’m a 24 year old woman from Birmingham, Alabama. I will have been clean from heroin for a year as of later this month, but now I’m dealing with an addiction to Subutex (buprenorphine, basically Suboxone with no naloxone in it), which I am injecting. I was a sheltered youngest child who began dating a heroin addict, and I went from never having used drugs in my life, to dabbling with over the counter cough medicine at 17, to smoking weed a few times after age 19, to shooting heroin. I kind of just went from 0 to 200 really fast and skipped all the usual steps in between. In the time since I’ve also dabbled with cocaine, Xanax, (bunk) acid, shrooms, and (bunk) molly, but they were all only tried once or twice and I didn’t really care for them.
When I was 17 I developed major depression with psychotic features. I didn’t have any access to “real drugs” so I numbed myself with large amounts of DXM cough syrup and Benadryl. I didn’t start using heroin until I was 21 or so. Using drugs has objectively made my life much worse (ruined my credit, led me to pawn many of my possessions and lose them, got me arrested for shoplifting) but there’s less pain mentally now. Instead of a living hell my life is just a featureless, neutral blur and years seem to go by without me noticing.
I honestly don’t know how I’m going to live without some crutch to keep me going since I haven’t done so for years now (I’m 24, and I self-medicated with cough syrup for the first time at 17, so I guess I’ve been an addict for 7 years now), but I can’t keep using Subutex as it’s ruining my veins, marking up my body and having horrible effects on my digestive system. I’m not in a place to get real help for my depression, I’m not currently really able to hold down a job and am living rent-free with my boyfriend’s family. The mental health system around here (Alabama) is horrible. I am still dating my boyfriend who introduced me to heroin, we stopped heroin together but he is addicted to Subutex as well. I hope to get my life together and go back to college one day, and I can’t do that until I stop sleeping all day and wrecking my body with Subutex. I don’t know if I’ll be successful at this and I may end up failing, but I’m at least going to give it a try.
It’s honestly kind of a huge revelation to accept that I am an addict and apply that label to myself. When I first started using heroin I didn’t see what the big deal was, and for quite a while I genuinely did not believe that I would ever get addicted to it. I never got as much of a powerful rush as my boyfriend did and I thought that it just affected my brain differently and I wouldn’t have to worry about becoming addicted. The addiction was so insidious and crept over me without me ever realizing it. I can’t look back and identify the exact moment when I became addicted, it was so gradual that I never realized it was happening. You start out only using every once in a while, then you start using when you feel down and want to cheer yourself up, then you start using before work, then it becomes an everyday habit, until you get to the point that it’s the first thing you do when you wake up and the last thing you do before you go to bed. It’s so crazy to think back to before I ever used drugs and realize that this huge problem hasn’t always been here, I willingly created it for myself.
Welcome @hollyblue , @Heathen.9 , @AlFerns , @Alexa We 're not all judgy here (far from it- we all have our past and stories)… we are a huge and friendly mix of people from all over the world with a common purpose…to get and stay sober. Please feel free to share.
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Hey, I’m Heathen.
I have used one substance or another fairly consistently for roughly 25 years. Alcohol, pot, pills, coke, meth, even heroin a couple times. Most recently it was alcohol and pot.
I attended a concert with my (supportive, kind, and loving) partner at the end of November and drank so much he had to take me back to the hotel room before the opening bands were done playing. I blacked out, which had become more and more common. I missed the big show, deadbolted the hotel room door and couldn’t wake up when my partner was coming in to sleep. I finally woke up to let him in (don’t remember this). I was so embarrassed that he had paid for my ticket to see his favorite band’s 25th reunion show, paid for a nice hotel in a big city, and I ruined it by drinking. Luckily, he went back to the show and had a great time, and he tried to laugh off my behavior the next morning so I wouldn’t feel badly, but I was so deeply ashamed.
I decided to quit drinking after that. I had one slip up last week with a glass of wine with dinner when we went out to eat. But I was proud of myself a little for stopping at one glass instead of one bottle.
At this point, I’m not certain if my goal is to quit drinking entirely. I just know I need to quit for a significant portion of time to learn to deal with problems in a more constructive way. I drank this year to (not) deal with some major trauma I experienced earlier in the year, which caused me to lose something very dear that formerly had been my outlet. Not having that support system put me into a free fall.
I’m totally sober for the first time on decades, and it’s a nice change
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Hi,
I’ve been lurking for a few days and found some very helpful posts. My name is Leila and I am 43. I started using drugs and alcohol when I was 15. Although my use has been getting lighter over the years I am still not happy with my level of control over alcohol or some of the situations it still gets me into.
I downloaded the app on New Years Day and I have been sober for 11 days which is not unusual for me. Still glad to have made a start. My first real challenge will be next week when I go out dancing at a licensed venue for the first time.
Hello hopeful people! My name is Janice and I am an alcoholic. I attend AA meetings and do a whole lot of praying. Thankfully I recognized my problem and started seeking help relatively early. I drank for 3 years. Once I took a drink that was it, I was addicted. It was never fun and created so so many terrible problems within me…This has been a struggle and it seems to be harder now than when I first became sober. When I get discouraged I get support from AA. I focus on positive things and surround myself with positive things. It’s hard but surly nowhere near the misery I was wallowing in. I am determined if I have to.live with the addiction I will learn how to deal with it and not let it destroy me. Thanks and I pray all have a good sober and clean day.
Thats good your going to AA i to go there and it has been a great journey have a good day be safe
I just want to say thank u to all of you. I have been following this for awhile now, has made a really big differnce for me. I don’t say much, i like to observe and learn. All of you are beautiful and amazing humans. Doing good things everyday. Each of u should b proud of who you are, no matter where u are on your journey. Stay wonderful!
Hi Kyra. My daughter is Kiera. She’s actually named after a girl I knew as a kid (Kira). I always thought it was the coolest and most unique name, no matter how it is spelled. 
Hi everyone, happy Friday! New to the board but I too have been reading all of your experiences and stories. The amount of strength you all have is incredible.
I’m 33 and I’ve been drinking regularly since I was about 18, more so 19 when I took a job in a liquor store. As you can imagine it was always available to me even though I was not 21. I’ve done some incredibly irresponsible things. Things that make me wonder how I’m even alive with the chances I took, the chances my friends took. 2016 was a pretty crap year for me and alcohol was supposed to be in my life to make it better. But then I noticed one minute I would “be fine” and the next I was either angry or crying. It was like a faulty light switch. A far cry from my behavior when I was younger.
One night, maybe a week or two before Christmas, I came home extremely drunk, called my mom around 2 AM and just broke down. I told her I couldn’t do this anymore and that I think I have a problem. It was the first time I ever said this out loud to anyone, myself included. Alcoholism runs in my family on both sides but my mom virtually never drinks. Anywho, she asked what I had in the house – it was 1 brand new bottle of my favorite gin, and told me to dump it out while I was on the phone with her. I did and then we talked for about an hour. Obviously she had a lot of questions about how much, how bad was it, asked if something happened, if someone said/did something etc. Somewhere over the next day or two I found the sober time app and this forum. It got me through quite a few low points when I wasn’t ready to share and a LOT of withdrawal headaches. I’m sure it will continue to help get me through much more and I hope I can share some of my experiences with you all along the way. 12 days today! Thank you all for reading. Have a wonderful sober evening 
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Hi, My name is Robin, I’m 53 yrs old, from VA. I’m married with 2 grown children, 1 15 month old granddaughter and a grandson on the way in May. My addiction is alcohol. It started around 30 yrs ago but I got sober for about 5 yrs during that time. I’m not an everyday alcoholic but a binge drinker. To me, bourbon and coke is like a Lay’s potato chip…You can’t have just one!! I’ve tried stopping in my favorite bar after work, telling myself I’m only have 1 or 2…It ALWAYS ends up to be 10 or 12…Then I drive home!!! Never had a DUI…THANK GOD and Thank him that I’ve never wrecked and killed anyone!!!. But have woke up wondering how I got there and what did I do!!! Blackouts suck!! I’m very thankful for this app…I check it everyday!! It is helping me keep motivated…I’m 8 days sober today!!! Can’t wait till it’s a month…Then 2… then on up it will go!!
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try get a eye patch and parrot will go well with the rum. Most ships are dry these days so get back to sea asap.
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Hello, I’m Angel. I’m 32. I don’t drink often, but when I do, I drink to excess. I’ve never learned to drink responsibly. At this point, I don’t think I ever will. I know that and the his point, I need to change and stop drinking for good. The next time could be the time I lose everything I hold dear.
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Congratulations and best wishes for continuing your journey. Your story sounds similar to mine.