Just cutting in sorry, but thats how I started back after 4.3 years, maybe I could be a couple buzzed drinks and be fine. wrong, I realized quick that I was falling quick and couldnt stop if I kept going, thats why Im here, scares me to death to fall back into that black hole again.
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Thank you Angel! Best of luck to you also 
Iām sure there are many people on this forum that can relate to both of us!
@Whyme same here. Sneaky bastard reared its head at 6 yrs sober. Alcoholism is cunning, bafflingā¦the only illness that will tell you that you donāt have an illness.
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I have the same problem everytime i go home and pass by the convenient store to by a bottle or two.
Always telling myself that āI will take a sipā¦ā
What I do is to make sure that I dont have extra money in my pocket to buy the alcohol and cigar. Leave my credit card at home tooā¦
Hey Nashā¦i havent tried any other wayā¦but recently whats working for me is that i have started spending a couple of hrs more at workā¦ help my family with daily choresā¦and i move quickly whenever i am around a wine shop or a barā¦ not sure if its gonna work for everyoneā¦but it keeps my mind away from thinking of alcohol. But again some determination is required.
Iāve been using porn - chat rooms, video chats, videos, you name it - for years, all through my marriage, throughout the 10 years Iāve been with my wife.
I also had an affair with a woman via Skype for 8 years.
23 days ago, my wife found out. Today, I finally told her the whole truth - every dirty, shameful secret. I have no idea what is going to happen to my marriage, I have no idea if my wife can ever trust me again, but I havenāt used since then and I donāt want to use either.
Iām here to find support, people that understand and share similar struggles and Iām here, ultimately, to try and live a sober life, one day at a time.
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Hi Iām Kelsie and I have decided this morning that I need to stop drinking. I have been offered my dream job and start later this month. I need to be the best me and I no longer want alcohol to have a grip on me as I start this new job and new life. I started drinking during a long abusive relationship to deal with the the pain and I used to think I like didnāt have an addiction like I could control it but itās not the case. Daily I struggle to have a drink and I watch the clock for the time when I think itās okay to start drinking. I tell myself over and over I will just have one drink and one turns into two which turns into half the bottle. I donāt have the greatest support system to help me stay focused and Iām hoping this community will help me and keep me focused! Day one of sobriety starts today.
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Hi everyone, Iām Terry, I am 39 years old and an alcoholic.The disease has ran in my dadās side of the family for ever and has dominated my life and the lives of all others around me for almost my entire lifeā¦or at least from the time I had my first drink.Like so many others I have tried countless times to quite, some times achieving up to 6 months of sobrietyā¦only to fall hard back into the beast.Whatās different this time? I canāt say , all I can say is that I am sick of alcohol taking the drivers seat in my life,changing and altering who I am as a person,robbing me blind!!both financially and of an actual life!!..just cannot and will not suffer the same fate as my family before meā¦and because of that I will fight until my last breathe thanks for reading, Iām up for any kind of chatting or cross support if anyone wants to talk.
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Hi Iām Jeff,
I quit smoking sept 6th last year about 2 months after i found out i was going to be a dad for the first time. It was one of the toughest things Ive done. Once most of the cravings were over I decided to quit drinking and vape on New Years. My goal here is to go 75 days without a drink which should be a month after my daughter is born. After that we will see. So far i am enjoying the savings and extra sleep.
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Hi, My name is B. I am 38. I recently finished 23 days of inpatient treatment but have been relapsing on cocaine since. My drinking is under control but my crazy brain keeps telling me I am powerless over alcohol but can manage the other stuff!! WTF!! I literally have lost all my money to my addiction, I am without a job, and barely getting by. My dealer finally cut me off until I pay up, I am grateful for that because I HAVE TO GET CLEAN!! I need any extra support, I am alone ALOT and usually would use my time by usingā¦ I think this is great and I look forward to āmeetingā you all!
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hi im david perez alcoholic i always stop for short times and i wys relapseā¦this app is really good almost 400 hours sober and i feel i can do it this timeā¦and the hard part is that i do fraft beer maintenance for a living. nice hu?..nop it is ot when you are bad to the boneā¦
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Hi all, Lou here!
First time admitting out loud that I have a drinking problem was 10 days ago. Iāve known for a long time, but as soon as the thought popped in my head I would quickly run it out. This is the longest Iāve gone without drinking except for one other time was 14 days for a health challenge. I am fortunate because I have an amazing support system at home. I also have all you guys which is pretty damn amazing! I was a binge drinker to the point of blacking out or ābrowningā out ā¦ only remember very small bits and pieces almost every time Iād drink. Started at 15, it seemed so innocent then and over the years spiralized into causing me alot of grief, trouble, and pain. Self sabotage at its finest. Some people canāt have sweets or dairy and I canāt have alcohol it is as simple as that. Now living with it is not simple, but I am optimistic that one day it will be. I have let alcohol rule my life and quite frankly, Iām fucking over it! It is my turn to figure out who I am and get control of my life really, for the first time. Thank you all for all your kind words and motivating spirits! You are all blessings to me and help add light to my days. I am an open book 
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Hi everyone,
My name is Margo. I have struggled with depression and anxiety my whole life and started drinking and using drugs to cope with these problems. I have also been a victim of domestic violence for my entire life. I am finally out of an abusive marriage but still struggle with substance use. Alcohol is the biggest problem. I was sober for almost a month but I had to go to a family party and started drinking again at the party. Family events trigger me. I feel guilty and like a failure.
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Hi Margo!!! Welcome! Youāre not a failure, the past does not define you if you donāt let it. We are all here trying to learn about who we truly are and become the best versions of ourselves. So join us on our journey to stay sober and focused much love 
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Hi. My name is Ed. About a year ago I came to the realization that I was a drunk. Not really an alcoholic, just an alcohol abuser. This alcohol abuse started about 15 years ago when my wife and I became empty nesters. II would start drinking between 4 and 5 pm and continue until well after midnight. The next mornimg I would deal with symptoms of alcohol withdrawal. Recently, the symptoms became unbearable so I sought medical attention. I told my story, was given a Rx for temporary relief of anxiety, and scheduled for a liver scan. The liver scan showed liver damage but no cirrhosis. I was told the damage was reversible but I needed to stop drinking alcohol immediately and complerely. I have been clean for 13 days.
It has been relatively easy for me to stop drinking. As I said, I have been told that I am an alcohol abuser not an alcoholic. My wife is very supportive and social friends do not try to encourage me to drink. A simple āI donāt drink anymoreā is all I need to say with no explanation required. However, I will be leaving for a cruise soon. In the past, a cruise meant drinking from 10 am until I went to sleep, usually with half a drink on my night stand. I have been working on strategies to avoid being tempted to drink alcohol on the cruise. The thought of getting spa treatments instead of a large bar bill is an incentive not to drink. Also, I will attend the Friends of Bill W. meetings (aka AA meetings) for support and encouragement.
I will be around.
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Also from Cape Town 
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Hey Margo. Reading your intro I was amazed at the similarities in our historyās. One step at a time. Take care of yourself. I can see why you would feel guilty and a failure but these are simply how you feel and are not facts. You are strong and have lived thru violence. This is just another mountain to scale, you can do it. The anxiety and depression will ease up. I was on all kinds of meds and with the drinking I was a mess. Suicidal. Now Iām 7 months sober and free from all pills. Iāve had to leave some family alone for my sobriety and itās hard but something I had to do (donāt even think they realize Iām staying away ) lol. If you know your triggers I would recommend staying away from them until you are sober long enough to be able to deal with them. Wishing you the best and praying for you.
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Well here goes. My name is Josh and Iām currently on day 2 of quitting drinking. Iāve been drinking for a little over 20 years now. Iāve never been a daily drinker or a wake up and start drinking person but when I drink Iām on one mission and thatās to get drunk. Over the last few years Iāve developed panic/anxiety attacks. Iāve been to the ER a few times. Iām not sure if theyāre from alcohol but I do know that Iām gauranteed to have one the day after I get drunk. The problem is that even though I know that the next day is going to be riddled with anxiety and this fear of dying I still put myself through this. Itās now starting to cause me to miss out on things in my sonās life. The anxiety is hard enough to deal with when I havenāt been drinking but with the hangover I canāt function and lose entire days spent in bed freaking out. Iāve had my fair share of drug use back in the late 90ās and early 2000 rave explosion and maybe itās those days coming back to haunt me. Luckily I was able to leave that life unlike many friends who are still addicts, incarcerated, or have passed away. 
Iām hoping I can quit the cycle Iāve been putting myself through and become free of panic attacks and anxiety because itās not anything I would wish upon my worst enemy. Good luck to us all who are striving to become free of our own demons. Thanks for listening to my rant.
Iām also beginning an app called 21 days of gratitude to see if it can help me jumpstart my journey. If youāve used this app please send me a message Iād like to know what it did for you.
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Hi all. My name is Bob and I am addicted to opiates. About 13 hours sober currently.
Iām 34 and live in Oregon. Have a wonderful GF who is about to leave me and two beautiful daughters who have been affected by mood swings and a dad who had been flat out shit.
I never thought I had an addiction. 7 years ago while putting togethery daughter crib I ruptured two discs in my back. I actually dealt with it well until my divorce in 2012. After that I got into a pain management specialist and prescribed Norco 10/325. Two a day every day. Thatās been a few years now. The funny thing is Iāve always stuck to script. Never begged for early refills. Never got low. Always took exactly what I was prescribed.
Two weeks ago I covered a friend who is on the same medication. My GF discovered it. I realize what I was doing was literally a drug deal. Trading pills that werenāt prescribed to my friend. That made me realize the problem and seek help. My doctor put me on a taper plan to cut out 5mg a week (Iām on 20mg a day so 4 weeks). Well yesterday I went over my taper. GF found out by counting pills and I straight face lied to her about it. Sheās not dumb, sheās a super intelligent woman. Deceit is the thing she hates the most and Iāve been nothing but in regards to my addiction.
Iām cold turkeying now with the help of Gabapentin. Dr said it will help with withdrawals which wonāt be bad as the amount I was taking daily is low, but since Iāve been on them for a few years Dr said taking the Gaba will be helpful.
Again Iām Bob. Iāve been sober for 13 hours and 21 minutes and Iām not going back.
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Good luck! The Gabapentin may take a week to help with pain management. I was taking it for a slipped disc in my neck which Iām going for injections later today.
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