Yeh I’m the same, reading everyone’s posts makes it easy to relate and become more motivated. I’m doing good only on day 4 the next challenge will be the wknd. How’s things with you? I think I read you are on holiday in Dubai that’s awesome, time to unwind but hard too I’m sure, I know when being on holidays I always want to drink.
Mike here. I live near Chicago most of my life, but I’ve been around…
I just turned 50 last week. I had been putting off making an honest attempt at staying sober until then because that day just seemed like the right day to really make a hard run at it. I work a seasonal job. That means I am off for 6 months a year. I could do a lot of meaningful things with that much time off, but all I do is drink a case of beer every day and get fat. It’s pathetic. I hate myself for doing it but I just keep on doing it…
I am now on day 10 not drinking. Have been having mood swings like crazy and lots of abdominal pain, etc… Just the last few days it has been subsiding. My gf, bless her heart, has been putting up with a lot of stuff from me and rarely complains. I know she deserves better and I owe it to her.
Drinking cost me my only child. She refuses to talk to me. She is 20 years old. It cost me a whole lot more than that, but that’s the thing that sticks with me and really the only thing that matters. I don’t know how I am going to repair my relationship with her but I hope to figure it out eventually (soon).
Well, I guess that’s it. Thanks for providing this forum. I think it’s really helpful.
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Turned 24 yesterday, started abusing anti depressants when I was 14, weed at 15, but I never liked weed much at all, and the antidepressants didnt make a noticable enough change for me. I dropped both at 16 when I picked up coke, 17 I was using both coke and meth and by 18 strictly meth. I stopped for a period of roughly 2 or 3 years (starting at 17) for a boyfriend who wanted to see me get better, and after that breakup I picked it right back up, only worse. I have a roughly 600$/mo meth habit and have for the past 5 years. Mid-late December of 2017 I had quit cold turkey (for a reason I can’t recall at the moment) for about 3-4 months when a newly made friend who shared the same interests/habits in a way egged me on to reach out to my old connect and got me started again, which is when it slowly reached my 20$ a day habit. He was my first friend that knew of my habits and who I could also comfortably use around. I would say at most 5 people in my life know/knew I use(d) and it’s only from me telling them. I have a full and part time job, my own apartment, and am what I guess you could call a high-functioning addict. No criminal record or history, and nothing that would tip anybody off that something wasn’t right. The last two days I’ve come down with a stomach flu which has led me to be asleep for the vast majority of those days, which in turn has somewhat sent me into withdrawal, as I’ve been asleep and therefore not using. Already feeling ill and having less in my system had me thinking to keep it going and just try to quit again, since in a way I’ve already started doing that. 10:30am was what I estimated as the last time I used, until I rationalized not to quit cold turkey and rather taper down. Now my last use is 6pm of the same day, today, and I wish it was still 10:30 this morning. The high isn’t fun anymore, not being able to control my brain and focus isn’t fun anymore, risking everything just to not be sick isn’t fun anymore and I want to be done with this once and for all, and updating my time since last use for the last time.
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Hey @muckypops. Congrats on 10 days! That’s huge! Day 13 now?
I’m outside of Chicago. Suburbs.
Best way to get your daughter back is to stay sober. I’m sure it won’t be easy or fast, but by being sober you can start to repair whatever damage was done or at least show that you are trying to be a better person and and father by being sober.
My dad and sister had a huge falling out and didn’t talk for years over alcohol. He passed away from liver cirrochsis last year and they did talk before he passed but he wasn’t mentally there.
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Hello all, I am Jason. I am a sex addict. When I was 12 years old I had a friend that was a little further along sexually because he had older brothers. One of his older brothers girlfriends lived at his house. She would let us watch her shower and take us on drives so we could feel her breasts and body. At this moment I became infatuated with sex and my mind rarely went off of it.
Around 13 years old we have another friend move into our neighborhood and he had access to his dad’s pornography. This was my first taste of porn and it became a lifelong addiction. As I watched with the other guys they would laugh and make jokes but all I could think about was that I wanted to watch this by myself. This is when my addiction became a private mater.
I talked to my friend into giving me some of his dad’s magazines and I would use them to masturbate. I felt guilty and shameful every time. Although, my parents never really made me feel this way it was just something that I felt. As I got older there was a liquor store that would sell me pornographic videos. Anytime the house was empty I would watch one. I got up to about 10 videos in my collection and it became difficult to hide. I believe my mom found my stash because one day out of the blue my dad started asking me about it. I tried to brush it off but that’s when I realized I really started to have a problem.
Around the same age of 16 I started dating and sex became an immediate goal. I cared about all the girls that I dated but not as much as I cared about but they could give me. The girl I lost my virginity to was already slightly experienced and sex became a big part of our lives.
Eventually, I met my now wife and fell in love almost instantly. However, throughout our relationship sex and porn was always an underlying issue. From using her computer in her parents house to go on chat rooms to keeping a private pornstash in our attic after we bought a house there was always a private piece that I didn’t feel comfortable sharing. After multiple times getting caught various ways I finally came to the realization that I need to make changes in my life.
I do not want to be a sex addict anymore and I’ve been doing an SAA a program for about 2 years. I recently had a slip and I am now 8 days sober. I’m thankful to find this thread as this is helpful to get this all out.
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Welcome to TS. Im a Pornography addict. It started when i was about 13 or 14. It has been a difficult road. Breaking free is a daily focus.
Thanks for sharing your story. Stick around and participate. This forum is a huge part of my sobriety. Theres a lot of advice to help
Hello Jason!
Thanks for sharing your story. I’m a porn/chatroom addict myself. First encountered it around 7. My brother had a stash of videos and magazines that I would use to act out in my early teens. By the time the internet access came to my home I was already fully aware the content it contained. From about 14 to 30 I was in active addiction. I identified the problem about 5 years ago and had mixed success until I came here. Just passed 6 months without acting out a few days ago.
Sorry to hear about your relapse. It sounds like you’ve had some great success working a program. This forum really brings a sober community to your fingertips. Happy to have someone with SAA experience in the rooms. Looking forward to your shared insights.
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Thank you for your words. I’m happy to be a part of this group. I believe it will be a daily help on the days i don’t have meetings.
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Brooke. 27. Issue with alcohol. I joined TS August 2017 during my first sobriety trial run. Currently, I’ve been sober since October 1 and been on this journey since November 2016, this has been my longest stretch. Learned a lot from relapses and attempts at moderation. I’ve written a lot of my journey with alcohol on TS, which I won’t rewrite and you can find through my profile or just message me if you want to know more about me. For me now, it’s about living in the present, focusing on the current moment, and what gift the day is going to bring. TS has been a great support system minus a few bumps in the road. I’m happy to be here and to be sober.
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Hi guys! I’m a newbie. Addicted to alcohol for about 15 years, I kicked finally about 1 week ago. I got lucky and had weaned myself down to about 2 shooters a day, and just decided I was doing it purely out of habit. I feel so much better already. I honestly feel lucky to be alive. I very much look forward to meeting and hopefully helping anyone who needs it. Much love y’all! -adrienne
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Hey ya’ll! I’ve been on TS for a while now, but I’m not quite sure if I ever formally introduced myself.
My name is Janis. I am 37-years-old. My DOC was opioids. I was originally prescribed them for a bad back/hip, but after a while (about a two year period) I started taking more and more and more. When that wasn’t enough I would take my husband’s muscle relaxers along with them. (He has no clue as he doesn’t really keep track of them). Then, I added unprescribed Xanax to the mix.
One day I just cracked. I couldn’t sleep. I couldn’t eat. I was miserable. I was tired of all of the lying, hiding, and making excuses to not go and do things (because really all I wanted to do is stay home and take my pills.)
I finally checked myself into detox. Once I got out of there I started seeing an addiction specialist. I am 2 months and 15 days sober and I have never been happier!
I am actually participating in life. I am exercising, doing yoga, getting my finances in better shape, and spending time with other people now, and spending a whole lot more quality time with my husband and my doggie.
I live in Florida. I was born in New York. Im a Gemini. I’d say my two biggest passions right now are spinning (cycling) and reading.
I think that’s about all of it. Hope y’all have a wonderful day!
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I turned 37 yesterday! I also used to abuse benzodiazapines bad. Xanax is sneaky stuff. I want you to be my buddy on here! Proud of you for taking the step to detox! You go!!! I feel lucky I’ve made it out of the worst part so I don’t have to go to a facility (not that it would hurt me any). 
Awwww, thank you! That’s awesome you are out of the worst of it! Yes I am very glad to say Xanax is not a part of my life and never will be again! TS Buddies it is!
My name is Tim I did things backwards I started using when I was 44 I’m now 48 my drug of choice was meth. It got me four felonies and 4 years of probation. After a couple bad UA’s my probation officer sent me to jail for 3 weeks and then send me to inpatient out of state for 30 days. It is the best thing he ever could have done for me. 68 days sober now feels great. I recommend inpatient for anyone struggling in their recovery. I learned a lot and I gained a lot of weight. And it sure beats jail
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Keep your head up take it one at time. Be good to yourself and be safe
If thats you in the profile pic, we wear the same hat, im sorry for your troubles. Im an alcoholic. A different addiction but we all do stupid things dont we…this is a good place to find some help. Great people sharing bad stories with some good outcomes. Be well.
Yes sir that is me I used to be a volunteer firefighter/ EMT for 7 years in PA. I moved to Oklahoma and that’s where the trouble began. I’ve tried to volunteer here but if you’re a felon they wont touch you. It’s tough when your firefighters you’re the one providing the help not asking for help.
Maybe you can also find a peer group of firemen with addiction problems as well as visiting here. I chose not to go that road because I had enough of the kitchen talk and like you said who wants to ask. Here you can still be somewhat anonymous… no worries of running onto someone in the grocery store anyway. But honestly this sight has offered great support and helpful solutions. I wish you well and I’m here a lot. Dont be a stranger.
Great advice thank you. Stay safe. I wont be a strange. Thanks again.
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