Yesterday I felt like drinking again after 6months sobriety because I wanted to fit in with all the party people on a saturday night. I was tired of being alone and sober. I thought that if I drink and go out I will have fun and even meet someone…
I went to the closest bar and ordered a alcohol free beer, I wrote my story into this forum and got some beautiful supporting messages back. I remembered that being sober sometimes suck and it can be boring and lonely BUT the long term benefits outweighs the short term feelings of not fitting in or feeling lonely…Today I’m not hangover and I can go out and enjoy the day, I can work on myself and I can find like minded people and be the best version of myself possible…one day at a time…
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Sober is only as lonely and boring as we make.
When I quit drinking I had to seriously step out of my comfort zone and make changes which included “people and places”. I kind of grieved for my old life but also sought to make friends with people who either didn’t drink or didn’t focus on drinking as a means to socialise.
For me AA helped with that, as did joining social groups such as a local hiking group.
I think I also reached a point where I started seeing the drinking culture as kind of repulsive, esp being around tipsy and drunk people, I started to realise I actually wasn’t missing out on anything because it no longer offered what I now wanted in my life.
It’s great to hear you realised that the long term benefits outweigh the short term feelings of loneliness and being boring/bored. Maybe its a sign nudging you that it’s time to start reaching out and find some new sober friends x
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I believe that my drinking days were actually the more boring times. However, while I was drinking I absolutely thought I was having fun; I was really just wasting my life and paining myself.
I would always pass out early. I was always too drunk to go anywhere or do anything fun. The belief that you need alcohol to socialize or have fun has been ingrained in our culture by years of advertising and peer pressure.
Being sober gives you the opportunity to do more and get out of your comfort zone. You just have to seize the opportunity. Oh and you also have way more money to do fun things when you’re sober. I hope this helps 
Also, I’ve come to realize that telling people you don’t drink is actually fun itself. People usually look at you as if you just said “oh I don’t use oxygen, thanks though!” and it’s always an eye opener about how dependent most people are on booze whether or not they realize it.
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It’s really amazing how all your messages help…I don’t know why I didn’t start earlier to write and share with this community…I’ve been using this app for more then a year and I guess I always thought that it’s a journey I have to go on by myself, which might be true in some way…I had to decide to get sober by myself and nobody helped me with that…but now I realise that there are people out there that go through the more or less same struggles and they are good people that want to share and help as well…maybe I should have realised this earlier and it would have made it easier…better now then never…thanks for all your comments and tipps…I will try to find more groups, hobbies, activities that don’t involve drugs and drinking culture…I already have been boxing for years now, that helped a lot with my depression and ADD. And I love riding my motorcycle and that definitely helped me staying sober. I will start lifting again too. But I really need to join group activities to meet like minded people. I will get out of my comfort zone. I’m a very social person but I always lived out that part of me at parties…now I just need to find new ways…
@Nordique, You are so right with this: “The belief that you need alcohol to socialize or have fun has been ingrained in our culture by years of advertising and peer pressure.”
→ a friend told me once that he never had sex sober…thats so sad…
My ex girlfriend cheated on me while drunk…I almost never felt this crushed…I cut off all contacts with her…this feeling of betrayal is the worst…I can’t be with a women who doesn’t have self control…I could have done the same but I chose to stay sober and have self control…I will never give my trust to a women again as long as she doesn’t earn it…never again…people can be very selfish and I understand that everyone has their on load to carry but don’t hurt other people that care about you and treat them as you don’t give a shit…we are living creatures with feelings, not emotionless pleasure seeking monsters…
Good luck to all of you 
stay sober and ride on
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I always thought sober was boring as well. I thought I needed to drink in order to have a good time. That’s my biggest problem. I thought I needed some drinks in order to have fun where ever I was for example going to the park, or down town or even to a 2 year olds birthday party. It was always I needed some kind of alcohol to lighten my day or time at an event. We have to understand tho that going out and doesn’t always have to mean blacking out or acting a fool. That’s not fun to me anymore! The hang overs the guilt the next morning and anxiety. Id try and stay away from a little bit until you feel you’re ready and If you can handle going out and really want to I’d try maybe drinking a fun MOCKtail. I never tried an alcohol free beer before but whatever works for you! It’s okay to not fit in! You don’t need to! Everyone is different and that’s okay 
. I’m glad you came out on top! So proud!!! Keep it up we can do this!!! If you don’t feel that crowd is for you anymore that’s okay! That means you’re growing. If it’s triggering… you can always meet new people that fit into your new lifestyle! Stay strong 
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I had this very conversation with my fiancé yesterday. She said we continue to have fun in other ways together that don’t involve drinking or the bars. For example, we take road trips and explore strange stuff along the way. And have just found other ways of having fun - FAR away from any triggers for the most part. I always remind myself, I hated the drama that came with my drinking and I’m much happier, boring or otherwise, without that drama! We find our own fun!
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"I was waiting for
something extraordinary to
happen
but as the years wasted on
nothing ever did unless I
caused it."
Charles Bukowski
I love this quote and I love Bukowski…
Sometimes I feel like I drank and took drugs to make something happen…but most of the time nothing happend anyway and I wasted a lot of time (years) being fucked up…maybe I felt I could be more outgoing, fun and confident when under the influence but it was only in the begining…later I became more and more insecure and I hated myself…getting drunk and coked up made me silent and depressed…being on mdma made me open up to people and started some relationships but they were mostly not with the right person…
I think it’s better to learn to do all those things without taking drugs even if it’s difficult sometimes. Being sober means I can make rational decisions and choose what is best for my long term well being instead of looking for instand gratification and pleasure…I just need to be patient, work on myself and make it happen (cause it)
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@Onlywayisup7
“even to a 2 year olds birthday party” 
same for me
I’m at a beach foot volley tournament right now, sitting in the stands and watching…for the old me it wouldn’t have been enough just to sit there and watch, I would’ve had a couple of beers already and would go on…and I would not be able to drive home with my motorbike later on…or I would DUI…so that wouldn’t be funny…
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@ThatSoberCat lol when I look back I’m look who the hell was that person and WHY? you see you’re already making positive changes and guess what… you’ll be able to take a nice and safe ride home after it ends. Keep up your positive thoughts because you got this!!!
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If “partying” was in our story, it can seem boring at first. Certainly in the first months it may seem that way. Without all the loud, forgotten conversations and other chaos it seems quiet.
But I think we can also confuse the quiet after the comparative chaos of drinking for boredom, when in reality it’s just calm peace. I sometimes missed it at first. We may even miss the noise at first, instead of learning to appreciate having serenity.
It can for sure swing the other way into genuine solitude though. I don’t subscribe to sobriety being “boring” though. It can be every bit as exciting! And it’s important to be mindful of feeling isolated.
As time went on, I made new friends and rekindled old ones. We still do things like karaoke, take actual dance classes, go golfing or backpacking. Real adventures.
Only now they’re more meaningful things that take a bit of extra courage. Things I actually remember cuz I don’t just black out and feel like garbage after, lol.
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Yep! Totally agree.
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I’ve never understood what’s so interesting about getting drunk and slurring at each other.
Since being sober I’ve learned to play banjo and started meeting a group to jam, joined a dance class and been out on Social dances multiple times, joined a mountaineering club and been in trips all over the country, how is that boring?
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Being sober is not boring. It is peaceful. It gives me time and space to be present for my life. It gives me the energy to do the things I actually want to do like read and work and ride my bike and play with my pets. It gives me energy to learn new things. It lets me sleep well and excercise well. It lets me avoid embarrassing situations and it saves me money!
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Having a hard time this weekend and reading through this thread really helped me, thank you! I love being sober: the clarity, healing, presence; but I’m also definitely noticing that milestones, holidays, nice weather, feel like I’m grieving my past life. I’m grateful every day to wake up sober now though and I’m so proud of you.
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I felt the grieving too at the beginning, kind of like a last goodbye but onward to better days.
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This is key.
I do not have a free weekend this summer. My days and nights are packed with fun full of like minded people. I have to turn invites down because I just don’t have the time. I get to choose which sober event I can go to because there are SO many!!! It didnt happen quickly for me, it took me about a year and a half to start to meet people in the community and to get a solid group of friends. I really relied on meetings of Narcotics Anonymous to find those like minded people though, i was not looking for sober people at bars or on restaurant patios. I looked for them in recovery rooms because that’s where i knew i would find them. Life period is what you make it, you have control of your life now that you are not tied down to a bottle, or baggie. So make it fun!!!
All sober people at a sober event having fun.
Watching Sunsets!!!
Getting up early to enjoy the quiet of a lake.
Daytrips on motorcycles with sober friends.
Live music with sober friends…
Sober camping trips…
Life doesn’t STOP when you stop drinking and drugging it BEGINS!!!
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I agree with you. One thing I have noticed is that in the absence of drinking, one does need to put a little effort in for the fun. Like I have to actually go to the lake to enjoy it instead of sit in my chair with my drink. I have to actually participate in reading books I enjoy instead of numbing my mind with alcohol. I am pleased to be alive to do these things. Some who are trying sobriety may not even understand what is out there for fun and that with that effort the thrill and joy of life is there to be had. We are becoming a bit of a lazy species.
Enjoy the rest of your day!
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Me too. My city becomes a ghost town on the 4th. Everyone heads to the lakes and gets trashed. Those that stay home get trashed. What am I to do? Well, I’m reading here a lot, it’s good for me. These random strangers from all over the world give me a connection😀. Also actually having some fun doing productive things on my own. Keep reminding myself if it was the old me I’d merely be digging myself deeper into the abyss of sorrow.
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Beautiful pics and message 
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Yes, exactly!! Good for you! That’s all amazing and I love to read too. I know if I were to drink I wouldn’t be reading, learning, taking time for myself, being present, and would certainly not be working toward any goals. I’m so glad we can all connect here for support!
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