I have found my self extremely happy one moment and so proud of my self and out of nowhere I start to doubt my own thoughts, fear creeps in. I start having anxiety attacks and burst of tears. I am 8days away from 60 days. I was an extremely heavy drinker. (The largest bottles of vodka daily.) This was ongoing for years. I don’t have an urge to drink. I just begin to get extremely intrusive thoughts. Like I don’t deserve this chance of self care. I never thought it was possible to stop drinking. I have no clue why I feel overwhelmed. I pray when those thoughts seep in and I just get extremely emotional. I don’t know if it’s because next month Aug 30th will.be the one year mark of my brother’s death.any advice will help.
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Great job on almost 60 days! I was also a daily liquor drinker and was feeling the same way around 60 days(my first go). It’s what pushed me to try AA, and it really helped me understand my feelings and emotions. I didn’t know how to deal with much of anything without alcohol. I had to learn it for myself. Acceptance, forgiveness(of yourself), as well as focusing on the positives are things that helped me. It’s like retraining your brain until it becomes natural. I think it takes our brains much much longer to heal than our bodies. Some days aren’t as good as others, but as long as you don’t drink, better days are ahead 
I’m sorry you lost your brother 
Wherever he is, I’m sure he’s proud of you 
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Hey there. I’m on day 81 and have had similar experiences. Up and down emotionally, and it’s almost impossible to predict it.
I think it’s both the brain changes happening (our brains literally putting themselves back together) and also the realization that this part of my life (for me not just the drinking but the party) is gone. The party helped me cope with parts of my life where I was not / am not happy. Now I have to deal with all of those things myself instead of escaping to the party = super anxiety which is at times crushing.
End of the day is the hardest for me. There’s nothing left to distract me and eventually I just need to sit with all of this. Sleep meditations have helped. Mornings always seem better than evenings. So my goal is just to get to tomorrow and keep going.
Hope this helps.
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60 days is awesome! I’m only at day 19 without booze and weed, and I feel extremely anxious, depressed and full of fear. Long walks in the nature and reading books have helped, also a meditation in the evening before going to bed. Like others said, our brains need to adapt to this new reality and it is extremely hard. But this phase will pass and in some point we’re gonna feel better. I was sober back in the days for 5 years and that was the best time in my life. Now gotta just stay strong. So yes, doubt and anxiety are perfectly normal, part of the game. Just stay focused. You got this. One day at a time.
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Hi @ABCMAK. Yes doubt and anxiety are normal. We all feel it. As of today (Saturday July 27), I am 4 days away from 12 years of sobriety. Even today I have questions and get anxious in certain situations. It DOES get better, if YOU let it. 12 step programs, therapy, or both can have a positive impact. If you get anything out of my reply it’s the following sentences.
This community is here for you. You have 60 days now and the rest of your life ahead of you. When that doubt lingers in your head, call a sponsor (if you have one), talk to a friend or family member who is part of your sober support system, or come on here and read a post from us. I’m at an amusement park with my family for a nephews birthday as I type this. While they’re on rides, I’m getting the support I need from these posts and hopefully helping others with my own advice. That’s what we’re here for.
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Absolutely spot on for me. I guess I didn’t see it that way. I appreciate the help and guidance. It definitely helps me feel a bit at ease knowing I am not alone
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Yes it’s absolutely normal! Sobriety can be scary sometimes but hang in there, it will get better as you sort things through, stay strong!!
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Thank for taking the moment to explain things from your perspective. I love seeing post that are day one sobriety to years of sobriety. The moments when the anxiety doesn’t creep in or the invasive thoughts of guilt and shame I find that the feeling of sobriety is so euphoric. Thank you for the guidance. I thank everyone for the response. It literally brings tears to my eyes knowing I am not alone and that I am making it through on the other side. There is hope.
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These feelings you have are common unfortunately. Very early withdrawal is not a fun experience. Then again, niether is active addiction.
Good news is you have the desire to stop, but going it alone isn’t going to work and this is great community to start with.
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Absolutely, indubitably, undeniably, indisputably, & unequivocally normal.
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@ABCMAK These feelings are absolutely normal. Well done on just under 60 days. That’s a big one! As someone said before me, you are learning how to feel the feels instead of numbing the feels like you used to while drinking. Keep it up. One of the things that I have learnt is using the serenity prayer when I am feeling the feels. (I am not religious at all so I modify this prayer a bit when I say it but I will share it in its original form)
God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to change the things I can;
And wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world
As it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make things right
If I surrender to His Will;
So that I may be reasonably happy in this life
And supremely happy with Him
Forever and ever in the next.
Amen”.
I hope this helps you. xx
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Very similar experiences when I hit around that time previously, don’t ignore it. Try some mindfulness walks. Find a nice pod cast or a good book to give your mind a rest.
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