I have a full bar in my apartment. It’s all decked out with fancy glasses, all the little gadgets and tools needed to make a cocktail, an awesome little decanter, an ice box, a garnish tray even haha, etc., and of course, alcohol.
Now, I know, I know what you’re thinking. Silly question. Why would a person in recovery ever think it’s possible to keep alcohol in the home? This may depend on the individual and circumstances, I think. For me, I would mainly, almost always drink red wine which I currently do not have stocked, purposely. I only have different types of liquor, mostly unopened, on display which has really never been appealing to me and I’m never tempted to drink any liquor. Before my sobriety began 6 days ago I’d walk by the bar and was never tempted to open up a liquor bottle and I still feel the same now. If it were red wine bottles sitting on that bar top I would not be so sure. Is it possible to leave these liquor bottles in the home so when friends or family come over for the holidays I may offer them a cocktail? Or do I just need to get rid of all alcoholic beverages so there is no chance that I’d be tempted? And also, is it fair to my partner that I rid the home of alcohol? He doesn’t have a problem drinking, I do. Or is he expected to conform and not allow any alcohol in the home because that’s what supportive partners do?
I just want to do what’s right & fair. I should probably get rid of all the alcohol, right? Has anyone else experienced this situation?
I think it depends of how deep is your alcoholims. For example, in my casi is like a social thing. I have bottles of wine in my home and some whiskey, but I never feel like I need to open one of them. I never felt as problem as well.
For my brother, for example, he was a very strong drinker (rehab and all that stuffs), we’ve cleaned all the house before he got into our home… was a family desicion and nobody replied.
For me, when I start to think about something and I can’t solve it, I push a stand by bottom. If you are thinking about have or don’t have bottles in your home, is because is an issue for you. Is better if you take out the bottles and then when you get more solid and confidence you re- ask yourself if you want to have them at home.
Your partner should be supportive with your desicion.
Have a nice day
(English is not my mother tongue, sorry about the mistakes!)
@Anthony I would say that if it works for you then it’s ok. If you were tempted and God forbid started drinking the stuff then you’d have to get rid but that may never happen! This is the horrible thing about alcohol, we are surrounded by it 24/7! We are all gonna need to function in a world that still drinks so if you can be around it and not be tempted all power to you !
@Anthony: I can only speak for myself and say what works for me. In terms of keeping alcohol in my home, the answer is a big "No way!"
Why “test” myself when I have so much to lose?
It’s the easiest way for me to "keep it simple"
I have enough exposure to alcohol - billboards, commercials on TV, posters in shops and the dreaded liquor aisle in the supermarket. When I come home, I want to relax and I ain’t gonna do that if there’s a bottle in the cupboard calling my name!
What’s the easiest way for me to stay sober? Avoid any possibility of temptation and get myself to AA meetings at least three times per week!
You can only do what’s right for you and I’m in no position to tell you what you must do… I can only say what works best for me.
Best wishes…
@Anthony I’d have to agree with @Andy_15052012
Might not be such a good idea to keep it around.
There will come moments of weakness in sobriety and it doesn’t matter if your 20 years into it.
You could be setting yourself up for a whole lot of regret and I’d really hate to see that happen!
Make some money off the alcohol you still have there…sell it to some friends That have no problem with drinking.
I wouldn’t advise letting them drink it at your house or being their bartender tho!
My advice…don’t keep booze at the house.
@Anthony
For me it’s a “no”! Doesn’t matter what kind of alcohol, i will drink any of it at any time. Just too much temptation. I have several bottles of wine on my wine racks that i leave for decoration…but they are all empty. And if you are struggling, then your partner should not drink. That’s my opinion. My girlfriend didn’t want me to drink but she would order a beer at restaurants when we go out. I told her if she wants me to stop then she has to help. She doesn’t have a problem but it should be out off respect for the person who does have a problem. We all struggle a lil differently but we all struggle. Helps to get other points of views. Great topic!
A big fat no from me. I would go apeshit in that bar, cause that’s the kind of drunkard I am, I will devour anything for “the buzz”. I see your point about the kind of social obligation though, if I don’t serve coffee to my guests they see me as rude. Although I think your friends and family would respect and understand it if you were empty because of your addiction. If you don’t view it as a problem, why not keep it, but I wouldn’t recommend it I guess.
Thanks everyone for your feedback. I knew the best decision is to remove all alcohol from the home, I just had to hear it from people. My partner understands and is 100% supportive. We will be taking all our liquor & beer to my sister’s and some friends tonight.
@Anthony For me, the answer would be HELL NO!, especially in early early sobriety. Now don’t get me wrong, my disease will trick me by telling me I’m doing great, I’m strong, as long it’s not the alcohol of my choice etc, etc. My sobriety has to come first before EVERYTHING and EVERYONE! Because without it I have absolutely nothing. I don’t care if my friends drink, but it won’t be in my home, my home and the rooms of AA are my “safe” places. My husband and I have been married for 16 yrs. I originally got sober, he didn’t, I couldn’t stay sober with him and we split up. We have reconciled but only with the condition that there is no alcohol in our relationship because it ruined us. He respects my sobriety and I respect his. This is such an individual process that affects so many. I know what I say sounds drastic but if I don’t take drastic measures I will not stay sober, my best efforts got me to AA and that’s how it works for me. That’s awesome that you can have that around and not struggle, but the day you start to feel the slightest pull, make a change. I applaud your honesty and reaching out. That’s also how this works!
@MicheleH Thank you so much for this. This helps a lot. I told my partner that he can go have drinks with his buddies (not that he goes out often but if the situstuon arises) but I will not be there and that would be ok. I told him to call me and I’d pick them up. I can be a DD for once! Plus the time away from the bars have given me the time back that I need to cook real food at home, play with camera and edit videos, all things I enjoy doing but being drunk, hungover or fatigued kept me from doing it. Thank you for being straightforward and I’m happy that you and your husband have reconciled and have that agreement to stay sober. That’s awesome! Oh, by the way, I got rid of ALL the alcohol last night. I think I’ll turn my bar into like a cheese and/or olive bar haha.
Great advice @Andy_15052012 ! You’re absolutely right. I don’t need any type of alcohol around because on my weakest days I’d probably be tempted. I got rid of all the alcohol last night.
No worries @Anthony… It was merely a case of me just saying what works for me.
Basically, I don’t like to “test” myself, or see how I am, how I feel, when alcohol/liquor is around. If I go to a pub or restaurant, it would only be for a meal and I wouldn’t hang around if my dining companions stayed on for after-dinner drinks!
I’ve found that always having an “exit strategy” (whether at home or whilst out socialising) is a valuable way of keeping myself sober. Of course, if I’m sober, I’ll usually have the car with me (which I am eternally grateful to still have and be able to drive!) so I can always make a sobriety-saving getaway!
In order of importance, my priorities are:-
My own sobriety
Family and friends
Everything else
Without my sobriety, 2. and 3. haven’t got a snowball’s chance in hell! Maybe it’s a selfish approach but it’s one which I need to maintain for my sobrieties’ sake!
Bestest of best wishes to you…
@Anthony That’s really good to hear! So happy for you! I like that idea of the cheese/olive bar! Even fruit smoothies/shakes or something would be cool! High five to your friends for being so supportive!!! Blessings to you!!
@Anthony…you’re welcome, and good for you for putting your well being first! Cheese and olive bar? Now that’s a bar i’d hang at any day!..lol…great idea!
Well this thread even predates me!! Which is likely why I didn’t comment on it.
For myself, my husband still drinks and we socialize a lot…well, we used to and are now getting back into it. It was VERY challenging in early days having alcohol in the house… specifically my alcohol of choice. So we agreed to no wine. Four + years later, still no wine unless guests bring it …if they leave it, it gets dumped immediately. My husband used to cook with wine as well, but he no longer does. We do have a very full bar, all the trappings, glasses, mixers, stirrers, blah blah blah. We have dedicated cabinets to the alcohol. For me, it is okay, but that is just me. Like I said…absolutely 100% no to the wine and my husband understands and respects that.
I think it is a very personal choice and need. Frank honest discussions with people you live with are necessary. For some of us, many of us, no booze in the house is vital. If that is the case for you, make it known and ask for what you need.
High five to your friends for being so supportive!!! 
