Hello, when you say seperated, do you mean you are married but living apart? I’ve thought a lot about this question and want to respond but wanted to know this first (if you don’t mind).
I’ve thought about this on and off all day. I know most are saying don’t find out… And I really hope I’m not coming across cold, but I think there is so much more here…
1.) Do you think your son has or should have the right to know?
2 .) Not sure of the legalities… If you don’t find out and one day she decides to tell you he’s not yours and up and leaves with him…would you have any rights?
3.) If you signed the birth certificate but aren’t the biological father, does that supercede the actual biological father’s rights?
I don’t know if I could let it go. I would be worried about someone showing up one day trying to claim him
Beautiful!!! Thank you
I should answer those questions I guess… Thank you for asking them.
Sorry for English is not my native tongue I use some odd words maybe.
We weren’t married. And split up 1,5 yrs ago.
I did register as father by law.
To add. I do love him he saved me sort of. And someone else asks would I up and leave. And the scare is… Could I give him the same if I know he’s a result of lying and that lying causing me so much pain and losing my career and so much more.
But That’s in the past now…
I think I can reconcile with it by accepting that it doesn’t matter to me right now. He is all and I am his all. Since mom is a borderliner. He has all rights to having one stable home, and thank my higher power… I can be that for him since 140days not smoking today and 130 days not drinking.
I am proud and thankful for being his dad and proud and thankful for being a recovering addict
Again everybody, love the fact that you all share your viewings it helped me a lot.
We are going to have a fun Saterday together
You know what the difference is… You went in knowing. At least for me that is.
One off my fundamentals in my recovery is being honest to the latter. And that is working great. So the decision to let it be is kinda conflicting with that. But I slept on it and I watched some photos and videos from his early life. Conclusion being I couldn’t go without him. And that’s what counts.
I appreciate your honesty very much Mario. And thanks for sharing your thought process. Just one thing concerning this quote. Your son is NOT the result of lying, nor is HE the cause of your pain or the loss of your career. That’s all on yourself and between you and your former partner.
Your son is the result of 2 people making love.That’s it. I have no children so I can’t comment on your feelings towards him. I can only say that you accepted him as yours. With that I think all you can do now is be the best dad you can be for him. And I see you are doing just that. Enjoy your day together friend. .
No worries at all, it wasn’t odd I was asking because seperated here in America (at least the part I live in) can mean you were married but now you are not together, but not yet divorced. I was mostly curious because maybe if you were married it might mean something different on paper if you signed his birth certificate.
Legalities aside, I know you love your son and I would never think otherwise if you got the test done or not. I think it’s really good you are providing him a stable home. Your sobriety means a lot to both of you and it’s great you’re a positive influence in his life. Have a great Saturday!
Maybe I used the wrong words here?
I say the lying might have costed me alot not him…
But it is what I feel, he could be the result of dishonesty within our life that’s what I ment.
But there what ifs and… What if is fear and fear is ego. So couple of deep breaths and let it be as is.
At least while I am okay with that.
Sorry if my words triggers you my friend
Menno is a fellow Dutchman buddy
Ow hahah I mistakes him for the other guy replying earlier stupid me
Your not stupid pal, if that makes you stupid then I’m a blithering idiot for some of the things that I have done in my time.
Hahahahahaha some would call us that right…
But you are right! We are all awesome beings