Me…I did this…
And yep…this is exactly it. But I LET the previous phrase allow me to use it as an excuse. I wonder if people would say it differently might my mindset have also been a bit different.
But ultimately, I, like everyone else, relapsed because I let myself relapse…or because I wasn’t really ready to quit…I don’t know. It’s impossible to know what might have been. All I know is that I am here right now.
if you have relapsed and carried on to achieve long term sobriety then obviously it must be part of your recovery bc it happened. Thats like asking is an apple part of an apple pie. It went through a process and the final result is a better version of
itself. ( custard optional).
So much this. I relapsed after over a year. But I know I had not really gotten to the point I WANTED to be sober. I was an active addict who wasn’t currently using, but i was very much still an addict. Relapse wasn’t in recovery.
I’m 41 days into sobriety again and the difference in this time and last time feels like a different person experienced it. I truly, truly want it this time. I am, for the first time ever, truly IN recovery.
Nice I’m glad you see it for what it is
I think that once we have admitted that we have a problem and start to actively seek sobriety then yes there will be some false starts. It’s only natural, we don’t know what’s involved. Baby steps. We learn from each time, or we should. Until, one day it sticks.
Imho it should in no way be treated as casually as some would write it.
It’s not what the aim is at all.
Just my thoughts.
For instance, it was found that only one in three people who have been sober for less than a year will remain sober indefinitely. After a year of sobriety, the number of people who remain abstinent increases to 50 percent, while just 15 percent relapse after achieving five years of sobriety 4.
Telling someone that relapse is part of recovery could convey compassion if the person has just relapsed and feels like they’ve failed at their recovery altogether. In such instances, the popular saying would encourage them to forgive themselves and quickly continue with their recovery process. But when this expression is being advocated like propaganda, it could promote a cavalier attitude toward relapse, its significance and its consequences.
Interestingly enough, after me telling her i decided to quit the booze forever my family doctor said to me that if I ever drank again that I should not consider it the end of the world or a reason to keep drinking. In a way she was paraphrasing ‘relapse is part of recovery’ and I know she was trying to be supportive. For me even thinking about drinking again is a total no go though. I will not ever drink again. Or do any other drugs. For me relapse is not an option. I need clear lines, and black and white thinking towards my recovery. I’m in my first year and I’m early in recovery so all the more reasons to keep that absolute clarity about my goal which is never to use any booze or drugs again. So I was a bit irritated and offended by my doctor even proposing the possibility of a relapse. I know how many people do relapse. I intend not to be one of those.
From my little corner of the world, that phrase is what we say to make people feel better about themselves; less ashamed. Some people need to hear it, some people don’t.
It can certainly be a step on the road to recovery but it also doesn’t have to be
Recovery can really be a part of relapse.
Yeah this. It’s one thing for someone trying to come back from a relapse, but quite another for someone currently on the wagon.
Here here 
agree do or die is my desperate situation and I want to do,DO LIVING,LEARNING ,AND LOVING MY LIFE AND THE PERSON UM BECOMING
Thomas, relapse does not have to be part of recovery. I know many people with multiple years of sobriety that have never relapsed.
Myself on the other hand I’m not one of those people. Now able to look back with much gratitude and use the pain of relapses as a tool in my journey of sobriety. I wake up each morning and take time to do some studying in the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous, along with praying and meditating to stay connected to my Higher Power. Also remind myself how bad my life had became in the midst of incomprehensible demoralization. It’s not like that today.
I do not take my sobriety for granted and I do not get lazy in my recovery. I stay in daily contact with my sponsor. Continuously working on the 12-step program in AA to the best of my ability, secretary meetings and being of service. This is what has worked for me for 870 consecutive days today. Relapse can teach us a lot about what not to do… In recovery.
But for the grace of God go I. Message me Thomas anytime. Good luck and take care my friend.
Gabe - I never relapsed. It did take me 18 years of off and on dry time to finally get sober. But all during that time, even the times I was on the wagon, I had the intention to return to drinking, most often sooner rather than later.
I did not properly relapse, that is, return to a state of disease after a period of health. I was always in the disease. I wasn’t so much looking for an excuse to drink as I was waiting for conditions (mostly legal, sometimes marital) to improve enough to tolerate my drinking. I find the concept of relapse, after a week or two dry, to be a gross misunderstanding of the term.
Wish I hadn’t “relapsed” so many times
I wouldn’t have done all the bad things during all my relapses. Would have saved me a lot of ear ache 
Just feeling so defeated at the moment. I just keep relapsing lately. I joined AA and feel good. But feeling so weak and tired just can’t sleep properly. Had a good run of sober time last year. But just now I don’t want to drink. Just want to be sober
Wow… this hit me…
You ok Maria. I know you are having a rough time at the moment.
You may have mentioned it and I’ve missed it but can I ask what the pain is from, if you don’t mind?
that is so kind of you!! After months of being stubborn I started trial with Gaba meds for the nerve pain. I have a form of neuropathy, not sure yet which one. but… I have had stomach ulcers, digestive trouble, inflamation B12 deficiency. So we expect there is the source of the problem. Chronic stress and always pushing through, so I completely exhausted myself. these pills make me realy weird 
I feel terrible and the pain is even worse… BUt… my anxiety is less after 2 days already, so it realy does something to my nervous system. maybe it will help me get through the phase of recovery, healing my guts and getting back on the right track. the one with the sunshine I get my results april 3, but in hospital that is now affected most by corona, so I expect to have to wait longer. and today i was also ‘diagnsed’ with symptoms of corona… it is coming close now and I know that I was nog i high risk person but I never had flu or something and I hardly see anyone at the moment…