So…i relapsed at my friends house yesterday. When i told my fiance he told me that was disrespectful to do it some other place tham your own…my friend told me its okay and relapses happend. But i still dont know what to think
4 Likes
My opinion, you’re boyfriend is wrong, and relapses happen wherever they happen… maybe he needs some Alanon?? Also being judgemental like that, is counter productive to your sobriety.
1 Like
Relapsing is the bad thing here. And that’s what you should be worried about. Work on your sobriety plz so you won’t have to worry about relapsing. Or where. Relapsing is disrespectful to yourself in the first place. Take care. 
13 Likes
I’d be less worried about where I relapsed and more worried about the relapse itself.
18 Likes
So it depends. I think doing that in shorts is fine. If you wore long trousers tho, idk, maybe apologise.
All jokes and fun my friend, time to get yourself busy engaging w recovery content, yourself on a meaningful level and the good sober ppl of the internet or even better in person 24/7. What you doing? What you doing for recovery?
5 Likes
Dosnt really matter were you relapse.ill not mention what i think that what your boyfriend said . maybe try a meeting they will help .wish you well
1 Like
Well, I know that it’s commonly admitted those days that anything a boyfriend says is wrong. But I actually will be the devil’s advocate here:
It may be indeed rude and embarrassing, say for instance, your friend is a recovering addict, or your friend is your boyfriend’s boss or business relationship.
So yes it can be rude and he can be right.
Bottom line however is that recovery and sobriety is paramount and so maybe, if the friend exposes you to an environment that allows relapse, then maybe both should avoid his company maybe?
3 Likes
A gentle reminder for all to please stay on topic, answer the OPs question and take your discussions to a different place.
1 Like
I don’t know why your fiance prioritized his feelings when you’re clearly struggling, but no, relapsing at your friend’s house was not rude or disrespectful. It was worrying. Did anything happen there to trigger such an episode? Are you safe now?
Be gentle to yourself and focus on healing. You deserve love, care and support right now. If your fiance can’t offer that, tap into your self-care tools. 
5 Likes
Hello Hugo and welcome to the community.
I want to reach out and give you a big hug I see you wrote this a day ago. How are you doing now? I am sorry that you did not get more compassion at home. Grateful that your friend was more understanding. Sometimes our triggers can be overwhelming and we seek that quick release. It is harder to control the where and when of a relapse in the early stages of our recovery. I do not see this as being disrespectful but rather I’m worried about what caused the relapse.
I do not know what you are recovering from but know that any addiction is difficult and you need a good support system in place to help you in the recovery journey. Grateful you are here with us. This is a loving and supportive community. Sending you love and hope that you are doing better today 
4 Likes
Im safe now. And yea there was a trigger. My father (thats a different topic) and some other hard stuff
3 Likes