I agree with everything you are saying. The sentence just came from sitting still and being tempted. (Why not give up? This is hard. You’ll never make it all the way anyways.) Negative voices, negative self talk. Even the idea of “all the way” isn’t helpful at ALL.
Thanks for your feedback.
It’s the insanity of our disease man we think we got this after 4 days or 4 years wanting to go do the same things expecting different results. Sometimes it is a second by second basis. You should definitely try a meeting or at least on zoom they are around the clock nonstop. Google 24/7 zoom A.A. meetings or N.A. You’re kicking as man you just stay the course all those thoughts are normal it gets easier I promise you. Just put one foot in front of the other it’ll be the best decision of you’re life all these thoughts and emotions are raw we don’t understand it at first but you just keep those big girl panties on and hold on k. We are here for you sis love you 
I’ve got 66 days today it’s possible we believe in you
You’re doing it. 5 minutes at a time is forward motion. In the past when I have gone back to comforts of alcohol it is always with deep regret. It will get better. I used Vistaril as well. It works. When I was finally able to fall asleep I knew it was getting better. Drink lots of water. If you can see an MD about the the other symptoms, do. It’s better to be safe. Hang in there. It’s gonna get better. We are glad you are here.
Early on…I had one of those moments. I was in the shower…and It dawned on me that drinking was the only thing I ever excelled at.
Posted it here, and a member informed me to get my head out of my ass…lol. I look back and truly laugh.
Our addictions talk to us, and will use anything to get us back.
So, great job coming on here and talking about it. You deserve a sober life!
My brilliant counselor in inpatient taught me this and it’s helped tremendously on many levels: that inner addict voice is the toddler you trying desperately to get back into the driver seat. Toddlers don’t much like getting strapped into their car seat and they can and will pitch a fit. Gently, BUT firmly remove them from the driver seat and buckle them back into their child restraint. This was important for me because if I’m harsh to that voice guess what …I’m being harsh to myself and thats very much something I don’t want to do because learning to love and be kind to myself is a large part of my recovery. And my toddler self isn’t being bad she’s just being a toddler! But toddlers cannot and should not drive. So, don’t even think about loosening those buckles! 
May you find peace and joy in your journey. So glad you are here.
Oh man, I remember that feeling! And the way you’ve worded it is a perfect example of how this sneaky thinking is so twisted. What we proved to ourselves at about day 4 is that we are tough enough to make it through early withdrawal. And somehow, I would equate that to not being alcoholic because "I didn’t need to drink every day ". Except I did, once I started.
Here’s even more suggestions for how to make your sobriety grow. Blessings on your house as you begin your journey.
Thanks everybody. I got over that hurdle and calmed down and quieted that Addict Voice—I like that. And now my house is cleaner lol. Thanks for the info and for being my cheerleaders—that’s exactly what I needed. Thank you so much!
Sweeet you made it to the other side of “that”. It gets soooo much better too as time goes in. Whatever thoughts you had about “why” you wanted to stay sober are thriving and not dead. For me I know I had to keep nurturing it, staying inspired of the good things I wanted to be a part of and experience and be and those positive thoughts carried me through some really tough times then getting in the work, a home group and around people doing the work kept me going and keeps me going. Here’s to all the misery that creates a strong desire to have a new experience. Glad your ok.
Just wanted to update you since you have such an inspiring sober life. I made it past that early hump white knuckling it and reached out here that I needed something more. I found an active recovery program and community that had daily Zoom Meetings and statements that I can totally get behind and embrace and work my recovery. It’s WFS (Women For Sobriety). I feel like I am participating in my New Life of recovery instead of just Not Drinking, which totally isn’t enough and isn’t sustainable (for me, at least). Practicing gratitude and mindfulness, too. Thanks for diving in on my earliest days with advice and wisdom.
Oh wow that’s so cool, thnaks for the update! I’m really glad for you you found a resource that gives you what you need and lets you practice on a daily basis. Now keep on going and don’t stop. Come here if you need anything or want to chat. This community is here for you.
I believe @SassyRocks participated in WFS. So crucial to find a sobriety support community. I do TLC and AA, and of course here. Congrats on 20 days of freedom!
Congratulations on your 20 days!! I was a part of WFS early on. Nice group of women. 
Yes I do! Ugh. But at least I’m not making everything worse by procrastinating in a bottle and all that comes with drinking to excess every. Time. I’m taking responsibility, sitting in the feels (as long as is safe—I’m biting off as much as I can chew—not trying to solve my life in one sober day).
Day 23:
Re-found this from a couple of years ago when I was first treating my Mental Health diagnosis. A good reminder, and I’m adding it to my Trigger/Cravings Toolbox. Hope you can use it, too.
PS: I’ve been posting almost daily on my other thread, “And counting” if you’re interested in my journey of sobriety and active recovery.
30 Days
I’ve been here before but this time it’s for the long haul—not a cleanse or a break. I’m active in my recovery—meetings, forums, exercise, diet, meditation, self-care, examination of self, and activating belief statements. I have a support system online and one person in real life (my best friend) since Day 1 who supports me and cheerleads me. I also have my therapist, PCP, and my psychiatrist.
I’m not sure if this is PAWS or the end of my Sobriety Honeymoon? I’m not tempted to drink, although I haven’t been tested with my biggest triggers at full force: Family. Work. NYC. The last two days, I’m impatient, cranky, quick to get annoyed/agitated. I’m using my tools: breathing, unclenching, focusing on the absolute present, talking to myself about perspective. I’m not finding much joy or enthusiasm. I’m feeling lethargic. So I ate a lot and napped and binged movies. I’m not hiding out, I just took a day to take a break. A sober break, of course.
I’m not intimidated by Forever, I’m taking it ODAAT. I’m not bored, I’m keeping busy. I’m just blah. I think I might be lonely. I’m doing a lot of activities by myself and self improvement. I’m also participating in Groups. I think I want to go out and have fun. Sober fun of course. Maybe this Saturday will remedy that as I’m going to hike the Gorge at Watkins Glenn, NY with my best friend.
I haven’t been posting often on this site as I am journaling privately and attending Zoom meetings every day at least once. I still check in here and wanted to let any newbies see how far I’ve come from my first post to now. You can do it! It does get easier and it is worth it, and you are worth it, too. I needed to find meetings and a recovery program that worked for me and then commit and immerse myself in that community and I’m doing the work of recovering—instead of just white knuckle abstaining. I also read a lot of sober lit and a lot of other people’s posts.
Congrats on your 60 days. Nice job. 
Congrats! Love your journey!! It’s so worth it!!
I’m still here, going strong. My online community, Women For Sobriety (WFS) has been where I go to online meetings every day (there are no in person in my area). They have an online forum and threads I participate in. I think I read that at 90 days, my brain’s dopamine levels are almost reset. So, yay!
!!! THIS IS FABULOUS! Thanks for this update. I love seeing this!
