It's complicated

Hello there. I’m new here. Day one (again). I am a bit over 40, married, two kids and have been using weed and/or alcohol for the past years on and off to unwind and numb physical discomfort. I suffered a pelvic injury almost 8 years ago. Standing is uncomfortable, walking hurts after some time. I shy away from surgery, because numerous doctors don’t know if they can fix me, chances are that surgery would make me worse. This struggle turned me into a depressed and bitter person inside. But I’ve always tried to stay the funny and loving mom and wife my family deserves. It’s hard. If not almost impossible.

I think, it was 5 or 6 years ago, when a friend of my hubby came around with weed and tequila to party with us. Man, I had such a blast. I felt carefree, I laughed, I felt comfortable in my body for the first time in years. After that, I wanted to party as often as possible. And slowly progressed to nightly use. Also binge drinking (and karaoke singing) at home with hubby almost every weekend. Always functioning. Always a happy drunk. So happy and fun that our 11 year old daughter recently on a late saturday evening walked into our living room and said: “I can’t wait to be old enough to drink, this must be SO much fun!” It broke my heart. I’m definitely not the rolemodel I wanted to be. So here I am. Trying to learn how to be happy and fun while sober. Despite all my shitty physical symptoms on top of the normal daily struggles we all have. Sigh. This won’t be easy. But I have to do it for my kids!

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Welcome to Talking Sober, @Trustine. I can only imagine how tough it was when you came to that realization when your innocent daughter said that. Please, read around here. You will find many, many people from all walks of life, around the world coming here to tackle whatever addiction they are going through. If you can’t find anyone to relate to where you’re at, please feel free to come on here and just speaking your mind. We’re all glad to have you here!

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Welcome @Trustine, it’s lovely to meet you. I wish you all the best for your journey :pray:t2::two_hearts:

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Welcome! Glad you’ve joined us :blush: I’m also a 40 something mum, of a young one. Stick around, read lots. So much helpful info, support… laughs too!
Here is one thread that might be helpful as it’s got loads of info.

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Welcome Trustine. I can’t think of a better reason to start a sober journey than starting for your children. I don’t care what anybody says. If that’s what’s going to get you started down the path of recovery hang on to it dearly. Your daughter is so worth it.
And so are you. :heart:

I start every day right here :point_down: Daily Gratitude List #2
I have so much to be grateful for now that I’m sober. Especially the support of my grown up children.
I hope to see you around. Lots of great people and support around here.
:pray:t2::heart:

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Thank you all for your warm welcome!

I did it! My first night sober in what feels like forever! I was so anxious about it, thought, I would not be able to fall asleep. But then I found myself some sleep meditation music and it went really well. I can’t believe this. 7 hours of good night rest, I even had the most wonderful dream lol. Happy and hangoverfree sitting here with my coffee. I’m motivated “af” now, haha!

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Remember this feeling that you’re feeling right now. You can feel like this, every, single day for the rest of your life. It’s all a matter of perspective when it comes to sobriety. You have to weigh the benefits of what sobriety brings to you when ever the pangs of alcohol keeps creeping back into your thoughts. Just keep your mind occupied and think up of little things that will improve yourself and over time, they will add up. Congratulations!

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Good for you!
I’m getting sober because we want to adopt. I really want to do that so I’m getting clean.

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Sobriety is not easy…Glad you acknowledged that up front…

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I’m happy to hear you are sober and motivated. It’s a great feeling! Good luck with your continued sobriety and keep checking back!

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Take a screenshot of this post and save it. This is freedom, and it can be yours every day.

Congratulations! :partying_face:

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Hi , welcome , I had the same realisation with my daughter, but she hated my drinking , each time I had a drink in my hand or bought another bottle she would question why I do it , this lasted a while though , and I just shrugged it off telling myself she was overreacting. It’s now I realise she was just worried, . Good luck in your sobriety.

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My dad was the worst kind of alcoholics… I thought, as long as I’m not mean to my children, don’t scare them or make them worry, it’s fine. But making them think, drinking is soo much fun and making them want to try it too, is really awful as well. I feel really bad about it. I also tried to talk to my daughter about the topic. That alcohol can be very dangerous and not just fun and so on. She was like: “It’s ok, mom, I get it, now stop worrying, it’s really not that big of a deal!” I’m gonna let that rest now and just going to do sober karaoke, I guess :wink:

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Checking in to report: Still sober. Had a few pretty heavy craving attacks, but now I’m not even thinking about it, because my thoughts are occupied with a different topic… My family is quarantined. Hubby caught covid and I’m starting to develop symptoms as well. I find it almost a bit funny that I intuitively quit all the damaging substances right before that. And I hope, all goes well. Wish us luck, please.