Im laying here in bed, mother inlaw in the next room dying from liver failure with my husband passed out from drinking next to me and im thinking how id like to go get a bottle how dumb is that. I mean im literally watching someone die because of it . Just another shitty day i guess never been good at handling my emotions in a healthy way . Yeah just a little venting i could go on and on but whatever
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That’s so so sad. That’s the insanity of alcohol addiction. Just awful. I’m glad you are here at this community.
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That sounds tough. What could bring you hope? Hope has been HUGE in my recovery.
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Idk guess if my husband could get sober that would be amazing dont really see that happening with his mother being so sick… idk im kinda just here right now not exactly hopeful at the moment
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What can YOU do to get a glimmer of hope. Its tough when we place our hope in others. That can just breed resentment.
My shameless plug would be to try an aa or al anon meeting. Thats what gave me a glimmer of hope in my downward spiral. Try to hang around people you look up to or admire. Their traits will wear off on you.
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Have you confronted your husband about his drinking?
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Idk i want to get a job again
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He knows its a problem and he wants to stop but i dont think hes ready
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It’s hard to stay clean when people are using around you, even if you can blatantly see the long-term affects of it. They say that if you hang out in a barber shop long enough, you’ll eventually get a haircut. There’s a lot of analogies like that, and they seem silly, but I have found them to be true. I hope you stay strong; you are worth a happy life, & truly, what did substances ever help long-term? Nothing, at least not in my experience.
What you’re going through isnt “dumb”, it’s your own experience and it matters. It’s good to tell someone else, bc leaving it bouncing around in your head can create a bigger problem: you could convince yourself to join in. For now, you’re living in the solution and I hope that you continue to do so! 
Do you go to meetings? I find them to be helpful. Especially lead meetings. Take care of yourself, for you’re the only one who truly can! 
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Hi @Emmers123 Emily
That’s a tough situation. First I want to send you hugs and strength. You are not dumb, as addicts it is engraved in our brain that our thoughts wander to the “solution” DOC whatever the circumstances are. I hope you get some rest and sleep. Difficult situations are a bit easier to bear when we are rested. Come here and share, we are here to support you 
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Vent as much as you need to, but don’t drink no matter what. Cravings pass, but you can’t take back a relapse. I’m sorry you’re going through so much pain.
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Hey @Emmers123 Emily,
That situation sounds horrible, I’m sorry for you.
Nothing about alcohol makes sense does it? That’s the addictive power it has. My dad is also drinking himself to liver failed death and my response has now been to quit but the stress of it originally made me drink more, too. We never believe it will happen to us and then… well… it will.
Congratulations for staying strong so far. I hope you wake up in the morning with the fresh optimism that a new day can bring (and, with that lovely realisation that you don’t have a hangover)
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Live in THE solution, not in A solution.
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You have a goal here. If you want to get work, then you won’t find it at the bottle of a bottle. You need to go your own way until your husband is ready to follow.
I would have a conversation with your husband, tell him straight his mother needs him to be sober right now. The last thing a mother dying of alcoholic liver failure is to see her own child walking the same road. I get that it’s hard for him. But watching him killing himself is not what she needs right now.
Things seem so grim right now, but drinking it away makes no sense, as it will all be there tomorrow. You need to be the change in direction your house needs Em.
Be strong my lovely, you have it in you 
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That feeling gets me angry with myself. Knowing what the booze is doing to us, and then gleefully carrying on is the one bit I can not understand.
Keep strong, and be proud of every second you have your own life back 
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I’m so sorry. If something, I’m here for you. Sending hugs!
Alot to reply to … ill try to get it all i dont go to meetings im not a people person i habe terrible anxiety it sounds awful to me to go to meetings, um i do want to get a job again but its hard bc of my anxiety i enjoyed being a housekeeper i got to be alone and work mostly short hours. I really wish i could talk to my husband right about his drinking but neither one of us can express our emotions very well plus he’d probably just get angry hes not in a good place right now. Thank yall for listening, even though sometimes i do wish i could have a drink i dont think i could ever go back to that, ive come to far ive seen what it does and i never wanna feel as helpless and scared as i did before
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I know your struggles with emotions and triggering drinking. For years I never realized or considered stress and emotions as a trigger for my addiction. Last week my wife was telling me a guy at her job is in the hospital swollen and yellow from jaundice and needing a liver transplant. I wake up everyday and realize how thankful I am I chose to change my ways. If I had continued drinking I know for sure I’d have ended up dying from it eventually. I can’t imagine being in a situation like yours because my wife is not a drinker and fully supports my life changes but you’re in the right place and you have a sober family here
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You should ask your hustwhat he loves more you or the booze…and if he can’t answer that simple question…well there’s your answer,you will never stay on the right path with a partner who drinks,that’s just the cold truth…do some soul searching.
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I did, not arguing just saying. And yes it was fucking hard. She sits beside me right now with a glass of wine. Now it’s not hard, I’ve made my choice and she makes hers.
Thing is she isn’t an alcoholic, lucky people.
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