Ive been drinking every day for around 6 years but every time i attempt to stop it just gets so much worse ,aa didn’t work my family hating what im doing hasn’t stopped me ,im at rock bottom i need to stop before i kill myself or end up in the nut house, my anxiety is off the scale, any words off wisdom ,ive managed 21 days so far then that wee devil creeps in
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One day at a time , and don’t pick up no matter what is how I can stop drinking, , I’m sure they’ll be lots of advice that will pop up here for you. Personally I couldn’t stop without going to meetings . Good luck on your journey 
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Hi Maggie, I’m so sorry to hear you’re having such trouble. Alcohol is a demon and it can take a battle to get that demon the hell away from you.
It is possible if you keep an open mind and if you ask for help.
I would suggest calling someone at an alcohol service in your area and see if you can get inpatient treatment - click on “find a service in your local area” to see a map and contact info:
There are also links to Alcoholics Anonymous and other sobriety groups there - those can help.
Call for help, ask for help, reach out, and don’t give up - you deserve to live free, and if you ask for help and put in the work, you will be free.
Keep checking in here Maggie. You’re a good person and you deserve a safe life where you can be your full self.
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Thanks matt for replying, i feel like a complete failure, my life is a mess my son hes 19 hates me ,full of broken promises, i hate me ,im barely able to keep hold of my job ,i cant go on like this ive not ate in days my anxiety is off the scale, i cant sit still i feel like im going to have a mental breakdown, i went to aa but was still drinking inbetween i couldn’t stop ,i dont know why i cant its crazy just stop for gods sake
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That’s addiction. You’re at a point where you probably need to go to a hospital or inpatient rehab. Staying at home is not doing it for you.
You are not alone though - others have been where you are and gotten clean and you can too.
Call someone at the link above. Get admitted somewhere. Ask for a medical leave from work. Work on the only thing that matters: getting clean.
Everything else is based on that. You’ve gotta get clean. You’ve gotta do whatever is necessary, to get clean.
Don’t give up Maggie. You’re a good person and you can do it 
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Im in Scotland ove looked up rehabilitation its at yoir own cost up here 5 grand for 14 days ,ive been through a gov detox didnt work aa didn’t work its at my own personal want now i feel theres no where else to go but to the source, its me whos making my own life and others life hell ,i need to stop picking up ,but its the only thing that makes me feel better, but worse in the long run,i will do it thanks for chatting with me makes me feel so much better
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I was where it sounds like you are 362 days ago. My 17yo Hated me !! I hated me. It was hell. I can tell you that stopping and not picking up helps. It’s not easy … but it helps mend the relationship with yourself and those around you. My daughter has yet to comment on my being sober (I’m sure in large part because she doesn’t believe I will keep doing it) but …. she now says Hi to me and as my year of sobriety approaches, she gets closer and more friendly and says she’s proud. —-You can do this Maggie !!! It takes work but it is possible. People here are enormously helpful. Reading reading and reading is enormously helpful. But mostly - not picking up that first drink. That is the most important step. I’ll be routing for you. 
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God i so much wish i was in your place just now ,my life is just so f up ,i want so much to go back to a time when my life wasnt controlled by my addiction to alcohol, im going to do this ,this time will be different, it has to be ,i cant do this anymore, keep in touch and hopefully i will be telling you how i am feeling so much better soon
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You can. Right now. I felt like you did. I was where you are. You can be the person in a year who helps someone. You can do this !
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Sounds like you have the gift of desperation your ready to take on the suggestions go back to AA get a sponsor there will be people there who can help you 
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Macy, is 5K of more value then your life. I would do a hard reset and take 14 to get that out of your system and make a solid plan for re-entry. You sound in a pretty bad place. Losing your job, death, these are all outcomes that could very well happen if you don’t take action. And you can’t do this alone.
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For me, it took more than AA. Here is what I did. (Fyi, I drank for 25 years, and my last day I drank, I had a gun in my mouth)
I found this place and lived on here. The amount of time I spent drinking, I spent on here. Listening, being active, having fun, asking for advice.
I devoted at least an hour a day to research. I read everything I could on alcoholism. I wanted to be knowledgeable about what I was fighting
I planned every second of my day when I wasnt working. Chores, activities, anything I ever wanted to do, I tried. For example, I tought myself how to cook from scratch…
I removed every single thing that had to do with alcohol. People, places and things. Seemed scary at first, but without alcohol around…life got better
After 89 days, I walked into AA. I think, for me that’s why It worked…my mind was starting to get clear, and I was receptive to it.
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Hi Macy, so sorry you are struggling. Keep talking here as that can really help. I am from England so know how the health service is on its knees and hard to access help. How is your relationship with your Doctor?
I am only on Day 6 but feel different this time and it is because I am reading everything and talking here a lot. I am distracting myself constantly. I normally love reading but haven’t got the headspace for it right now so just hang around here and research, keeps me in control. I haven’t tried AA yet but do think we need something to hold us accountable, but with people that get it too. My family and friends just don’t understand.
Good luck, you are already doing really well even if it doesn’t feel like it.
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First of all, be kinder to yourself. If alcohol was easy to quit, then there wouldn’t be groups, literature, etc, dedicated to that. But there is, because it manages to be both the problem and look like the solution to the problem. But people do break out of the Catch22, and you can too. Don’t give up on things you tried before, maybe you are in a different frame of mind and it will click this time. So try the drs again, try aa again. Never give up trying.
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Thanks for the reply, yes i am in a self induced hell at the moment, the 21 days sober was when i reached a new hell of shame ,didn’t last tho that wee devil said your good to go ,i should never have listened, its always the same once the shame goes and i start feeling better i do it all again but every time i do i see im hitting new lows and it just gets worse, i will look up your suggestions, when i went to aa i did a meeting every night thing was i didn’t think i was as alcoholic as these people no shakes no prison no lost kids but now i realise that im on my way there its only a matter of time ,i will go back im thinking of going to a local one tommorow, deal with the shame im so disappointed with myself
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Maggie - this is what works. Some people call it “the gift of desperation”.
The gift of desperation means you will do anything, anything to get sober. You will call the National Health Service (scroll down to “Intensive Rehab”) - or their local agencies - and see what kind of assessment for funding you can get. You will call churches to ask for help from congregations. You will pour out all the booze and give your money and cards to someone you trust to hold them. You will do _____ - whatever you can think of, try anything! - to get sober and stay there.
You don’t want to drink. That is obvious. This is where you make your stand then. That alcoholic voice that says “just a bit” can go straight to hell. You’re standing your ground and telling it, it is not persuading you. Instead, you are asking for help, reaching out, sharing your fears and uncertainties. You are connecting with people here and in AA or any program you can attend, you are admitting you have a problem and need help. That is what you are doing.
Don’t give up Maggie 
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Im sorry to hear your really struggling right now, ive been there and know how difficult it is first starting with recovery. Some of us have struggled for so many years before we were able to start really working on our sobriety. Ive been admitted to the physc ward 3x it helped me some to have help from the doctors and psychological evaluations to realize how far my alcoholism had progressed. Alot of jails and hospital stays, broken relations, missed opportunities, and shattered lives, i dug for about 25 years always finding lower bottoms. When I finally got “sick and tired” and beat into submission by my alcohol and drug addictions i started working to stay sober. I was so use to just working to stay drunk or high. Just a day at a time we can get better, just dont give into the negative thinking that you’ve failed your still alive and you can make it out from the grips of your addiction. Stick around here read as much as you can reach out when your feeling tempted. Always someone here willing to listen. Your not alone.
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It is tough to start as you have so much time on your hands and no booze to help pass the time. You feeling grim, sweaty and consumed by thoughts of alcohol.
Just read this app a lot, it will help and also keep you busy. Secret is to do something to occupy your mind. Aa is not fir everyone.
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I’m sorry you are having a hard time, sending you hugs and support. Have you tried other paths to sobriety besides AA? It isn’t right for everyone and there are other ways. I quit almost 2 years ago using quit lit, sober podcasts, therapy, exercise, journaling, mindset and habit change and Facebook groups as community, much like this group. I was a lifelong drinker and usually drank at least a bottle of vodka everyday. I found out about This Naked Mind by Annie Grace in this group and it flipped the switch for me. Check out thisnakedmind.com. They also do the free 30 day alcohol experiment. Here is a picture of some of my favorite quit lit books, they can also be listened to on audible if you don’t like reading. My top 3 are This Naked Mind, Quit Like a Woman, and The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober. Good luck to you however you move forward, and don’t lose hope! 
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Thankyou everyone who has responded, ive alway thought why am i a alcoholic, everybody story is so different, i think what i just need to realise is that my story is unique to me and that me and alcohol dont work anymore, looking back they never did ,then i got to this point, ive had it i want what you all have so much and this time im willing to put in the time and effort to get it ,i just cant go on like this anymore, i will pick up on the tips given and update on my journey
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