So ive been reading on here alot journaling every day ,i started on January 1 said i wasn’t bringing alcohol into this year i got to may 13 had a relapse got back on it had another one on Friday which lasted 4 days lost my dogs got picked up of the street not once but twice ,had to call my boss up drunk to make excuses why i wouldn’t be in ,went in on the Tuesday night to start a 12 hr shift packing ,once i went in i knew id never make it through the shift ,i then had to tell the supervisor that i had to leave and it was one of they moments were i thought do i tell a lie or tell the truth, i blurted out that im a alcoholic not something i wanted anyone to know but i still had 2 more 12 hr shifts to do and i was full of anxiety tingling body i was a mess ,im not sure if i did the right thing, will i now be sacked ,i waiting on the manager to call me as he wasn’t in and the supervisor told me he would speak to him ,the longer im waiting the more anxious im getting, i was doing so well to ,im 50 tomorrow and i was hoping when i started this that this would be the year i finally did it ,but i let myself and family down im so disappointed in myself, any advice
I went through a period where I lost some jobs for similar reason. My employers made the right choice in letting me go as I was not a good employee. Eventually I lost enough self respect and had enough of the merry-go-round that I decided to give AA a honest try. 5.5 years later I’m still sober, in a job I love and building an amazing life with my girlfriend and family. Wouldn’t have any of this without AA
You’ve been through a lot, no doubt. The time has passed for being your worst critic and it’s time to give yourself grace. This year isn’t over, so this can still be the year. Don’t let yourself worry about the things you cannot control, but focus on what you can control. Will you drink tomorrow, or the next day, is not what you should be concerned with, but rather knowing that you will not drink today and doing what you know you need to do in order to achieve sobriety today. When tomorrow comes you’ll do it again and then the following day. Each day is another victory and something you can celebrate. When things occur in your life that are unexpected or a hardship, you already know through experience that drinking will not help you overcome it but it will make things worse. So knowing that, you can do something different like remaining resolved to face it soberly and honestly with courage just like each day’s victory of sobriety. When things become overwhelming, reach out to someone you trust that will support you or come to sites like this and lament your burden. They are much less heavy when you lay them down. Hope this helps and please know you have someone, me, who supports you and wishes you peace, love and joy. Most importantly, I wish you self-love!
Your right i know what i need to do, when im bck on the wagon i actually feel more positive about myself, when something like this happens i think how am i ever going to control it and that makes me scared ,its me whos picking it up ,after ive done it i think why ,and i dont know why ,ive got this obsession about not being normal, not that im missing out on a social life as all my drinking gets done by me myself and i ,i just dont understand why i ruin it all with one decision to pick it up which goes on for days its not about the enjoyment i drink vodka straight from the bottle once ive started i cant stop ,ive read 3 books on been to aa always on here but when i bugger it up its always majorly, what im trying to say is i dont trust myself, but i have to or this will be my life forever and i dont want that
I’ve asked myself those same questions, felt the same feelings and same fears. Ironically, I too, was a vodka drinker. Being not normal just means you’re special so consider that a positive attribute. It takes time to get used to being sober. You obviously have the right mindset and realize you have to do something different so give yourself that grace to be special. If you find yourself about to go down the rabbit hole of taking a drink please don’t hesitate to reach out.
Hi Maggie, you know you can get this in hand again, maybe give the AA a try ive seen so many on here that its really helped, what have u got to lose?
My advice is to invest in your sober network. It doesn’t cost a lot, just your time and attention.
This forum is great place to build a sober network. The more you engage, the more you tell your story and the more you tell your story, the more likely you are able and willing to change how the next chapter goes.
Building a sober network is paramount, it provides and fosters trust, growth, friendship, camaraderie, education, and accountability. We cant do this alone, we all need help and building that network is how you get that help.
Be active and see how things change.
I know how you feel when covid hit My job just down and booze became my best friend I drank everyday embraced myself and my family That’s gow I utilized my time,got a job working at giant during covid thought that would help me to stop but it didn’t work my addiction was always calling me it wanted me dead and I was close to it ended up in the hospital suicidal thoughts and hated everything and everyone became clean in jan 10th my body had enough plus my husband almost died from afib God woke me up with a spiritual blessing .God bless you I will continue to pray for you.
Hi I feel this I’ve been there a few times had to hit rock bottom, take time on your self and one day at a time stay on here it helps me immensely love and str sent you are not alone
Maggie i agree with Dan @HoofHearted …be present here more, we are here to help you, you cant do it alone, come here BEFORE you pick up so you can try and vent out why you want to…with our help
Thank you everyone for your help it does mean alot to me to have a bunch of people that know what im going through and how hard it is to get a grip on this ,my addiction has been overwhelming its all i think about, constantly going over why im a alcoholic, how its got a grip of me ,when it happened, it more or less destroying who i am ,i dont even know anymore, but i have learned alot and i know what i need to do ,and having all of yous even though we have never met in person makes me feel part of a group i just need to get my life in order get over these few day ,i cant let this beat me ive got to stop making excuses, i know not to pick up that first drink ,im sick of being sick ,letting alcohol rule my life
Your an addict, you have a disease like all of us, maybe instead of obsessing why and why you cant be normal just accept it for what it is and turn your attention to how you can deal with it and what you can do about it
Welcome to the club! You’re going to be so much happier. You are also going to realize how much time was wasted, either getting booze, drinking it, or recovering from it. It’s going to be rough for a couple days, but will all be here and we’ve all been through it. Best wishes!
How are you today Maggie? 
Hi im ok ,sober ,but i have now not been back to work for 4 12 hr shifts ,im in abit of a predicament, i also have toothache, i think that and the codeine is what started of that episode, im 50 today ,im going to have to try and get a emergency apt tomorrow if i can to get 2 of my front side teeth out ,im not looking forward to having missing teeth but i cant take the pain ,im not sure whether to get a sick line for my work or not ive already told them ive got a alcohol problem but im not sure if id be digging myself a bigger hole ,but in this state i dont think i could handle the shifts in this pain
When i first got sober i went to the doctor and got a sick note for stress until id sorted myself out, at least that way i had something official in place, is that an idea?
Yeah i was thinking of that ,the work knows im a alcoholic so does my doctor, just ive only been in the job officially since February, before that i was with them over a year through a agency, im just worried id get sacked ,im not sure what to do ,in the uk id probably maybe only get sick pay then money would become a big issue as im on my own ,im going to decide over the weekend, ive done a long well long for me 4 months sobriety, i know i can do it ,telling my work i was a alcoholic is abit worrying for me as i know people like a good gossip but also in a way a relief ,i am one a person who cant drink ever again, it just doesn’t work for me, i just need some time to sort myself out get myself back into a good headspace
Maybe speak to citizens advice, see what your options will be money wise if you take time off, they should also know about policies for dealing with alcoholism and employers etc where i work i didnt admit to my employer but a colleague did and she actually got alot of support via the company, id give them a call and see what they come up with, knowledge is power…call citizens advice and go from there
Thankyou i never even thought of that ,this time round i feel so much worse mentally, even though ive been of it the longest time mentally i feel fragile sick cant sleep ,im also peri menopausal so im not sure whats going on ,i will give them and my doctor a call ltr on
Its gonna be ok Maggie, lean on us we are all here for you, keep talking on here ok xx