Day 8 here. Last night was my first Sat without a drink in over a year or two. I struggled last night. I wanted a drink, just one was what I kept telling myself. I felt like I deserved “just one” to reward myself for going a whole week. It was a strong difficult internal struggle. I finally decided that I would drink two drinks by the pool tomorrow. Just 2. But I know that I can never stop once I start. Somehow making that deal with myself got me through the night. I woke up this morning a little ashamed. I don’t want to get through the night because I am looking forward to tomorrow’s “reward”. I definitely am not going to follow through today, but I am disappointed that I actually made that deal with myself last night. The night before I meditated, worked out, prayed, etc to get through the night, but last night I went this route. Not good. At least I made it to day 8, but that is not how I want to do it. I will be implementing all of my tools today to get to day 9, but has anyone else ever done this? I’m sure because I’m not unique to this disease and we all play games in our heads because of it. I really do not like that I did that and need to give myself some grace today. It’s just hard when I have been so proud of myself this week until now.
Personally I like to take it just one day at a time. “I don’t know what I will do tomorrow. Today, I choose to be present with myself. Today, I choose to do healthy things for myself, and to call or communicate with others. Today, I choose to set a timer and get through the next 15 minutes. I am not alone. I recognize that “just one” voice is lying to me. I will let it flow through me; I will not make it into more than it is: just a wayward / passing thought.”
Am I perfectly zen all the time? Hell no. Am I some master of mental peace? No. It is messy and turbulent. But I use my tools, I reach out to people by phone 3-4 times a day. I read “quit lit” (literature about quitting an addiction: there’s lots here Resources for our recovery).
One day at a time. 15 minutes at a time. You can do anything for 15 minutes. Even at 1:00 in the morning, you can do anything for 15 minutes. You can also call people in recovery then. They’ll understand. They may answer or they may not. But we’ve all been there, and just the act of making that call, will remind you of your resolve.
Congratulations on getting to day 8! That’s awesome!
I personally haven’t had to use that approach but I’ve met a lot people in AA who have and it’s worked well. Sponsors have even suggested it to their sponsees. Those early days can be extremely difficult so anything you do or think to get you through the day and put your head on that pillow sober is acceptable in my opinion. As you start addressing the underlying issues, eventually the obsession will be lifted but do what you got to do for now to stay sober. Wishing you the best on your journey.
First off … You need to be proud of yourself… You have made the decision to better your life and are making that happen. That is something to be proud of!
The mind, especially our alcoholic mind, can be such a terrible foe. YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN YOUR FEELINGS AND EXPERIENCES IN STARTING YOUR JOURNEY. Trying to convince myself into that first drink; it’s been a good day i need to celebrate, its been such a terrible day i need a drink, i deserve one, hey at least i switched to a lighter drink, …There’s so many things i have caught my alcoholic mind trying to convince myself into taking that first drink. . Keep sober friends close and find those ones who are willing to offer their help at any time you need in order for you to stay sober and call them when your mind does this. Not sure of your plan for your journey but i found that without support, i could not do it on my own. That is why i have gotten involved with AA… It has saved my life.
Good job on making a good choice to not drink yesterday. And good job for coming to your senses today knowing that having a couple would not be a good reward.
It is not possible to fight alcoholism by indulging in it.
I’m reminded of Allen Carr’s illustration of comparing a glass of alcohol to a glass of bleach. I imagine someone rewarding himself by drinking a glass of bleach saying to himself that he deserves it. I don’t think anyone deserves that poison.
Whatever it takes to stay sober for today is good imo. Be proud that you found a way through the tough night.
I remember telling myself “I’m not going to stop at this gas station for beer, I’ll stop at the next one if I can’t make it”. I commute 180ish miles a day for work (use to drink and drive all the time) so just making it past 1 gas station was a huge victory in the beginning.
If you can find a way to stay in the moment and choose soberiety it’s a win. Congratulations on 8 days 
I’ve been sober over three and a half years and tell myself and anyone else " Tomorrow I can do whatever I want but today I’ll stay sober"
Sobriety really is a day at a time thing and if I thought for one minute I can never drink again it would drive me insane, but not today.
I always use to reward myself with a drink. Never just one. I can’t ever think of a time I had just one drink. Never happened. When I started my sober journey I started rewarding myself with other things. Because we do deserve a reward. This is hard work. I would reward myself with a pedicure or a new hoodie. Or some new socks or a new shirt. Or a special cooking tool. Or a clean house. I had a lot of energy and I cleaned house well into the evening.
Congratulations on your 8 days. The first ten were my hardest. I also came up with my own little mantra.
“I’m not drinking today! And I’m probably not drinking tomorrow.”
Stick with us.
Reaching out for help is a huge part of the battle.
We got your back.
Whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright.
George Harrison
Alcoholism is largely a thinking, feeling, and spiritual disorder. So making intellectual deals with yourself, such as “I won’t drink today. I might tomorrow, I’ll wait until then to decide” has worked wonders for lots of folks. No need to put yourself down for that! And your spiritual work will go a long way toward amending your behavior also. Did you know that attending an AA meeting is a spiritual act?
Blessings on your house 
I like that… it’s my poison, and I wouldn’t drink real poison…
I am doing AA this time. I do a zoom meeting every day. It really is helping. Thank you.
Thank you for sharing. It’s good to know that I’m not alone in this.
Thank you for your words of encouragement. I like the idea of a different kind of reward. It is hard and I do deserve to reward myself… just not with alcohol.
Thank you. I am finding that my spiritual work is what is making me the strongest through this. Blessings to you as well.