Whew… I’ve honestly been running low lately. No motivation to do anything 😵💫 Trying my best to get out of this funk.
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Mixed bag. My job told me I have the rest of week off, so they might be letting me go soon. No big deal since I’m leaving that job anyway, but it’s going to cut deeply into my last paycheck. But I got plenty of time to hit the gym and do other stuff that needs accomplished.
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My days always start out great. And then I get irritable and frustrated and overwhelmed by like 5 or 6pm. Even saw some jealousy creeping in with a gf of mine. I’m happy for her and I will always support her but I do get jealous of many things about her and her family life. I just need this day to end honestly. Heading to sleep 
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I hate the feeling of jealousy. It’s awful. Terrible emotion wish it didn’t exsist. I get jealous of my friends A LOT. I don’t know why? Because I love them and happy for them so I don’t know why I do that
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My days been alright, I’m not using a substance to change my feelings so that’s a miracle I’m grateful for. The rest is cool.
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I find myself comparing myself and my life to others. For example with my friend, I love her to pieces. She is an amazing woman. We used to work at the same group home. She has a beautiful house while I live in a very small condo that me and hubby rent, she is a competitive bodybuilder while here I am struggling with my weight and being healthy, she has no debt while I have too damn much, her husband communicates well with her and supports her while my husband is quite closed off and not very emotional at all. Today will need to be about gratitude for what I DO have. It could always be worse. Wayyyy worse
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Way to focus on YOU and the things you DO have! Not everyone starts at the same starting line and all of our race tracks are very different. When someone is going downhill and you are struggling to climb a mountain, it’s unfair to compare speeds. Just like how you keep some things private, she may also have struggles she keeps private. It’s easy to post the happy things on social media and give positive feedback - no one wants to hear/show everyone the negative things in their life! But not everything is always at it seems. Keep positive, you got this!
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@Butterflymoonwoman
Feeling physically ill with some bug. Spouse just went to store so I have some time alone. Yeah!
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Methadone clinic took forever…shitty
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Trying not to be depressed. Getting some days off is not nearly as satisfying as I thought it would be. 
@Butterflymoonwoman I know how that comparison thing goes. There’s literally no one on earth that I can’t think is better of than I am in some way shape or form. I keep trying to remember that I can’t be anybody else, so I just have to be the best me that I can.
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I’m on day 3 of no alcohol, and today is super hard , not for any particular reason , it was a pretty decent day, other than not wanting to do much , just find myself craving it so much more this evening, making me anxious how bad I want to drive and get it , but I’m not , I’m going to push through the craving , I have stocked up on sweets. I drink quite a bit of water a day and enjoying my tea, but am craving that whiskey.
Come in bed time😩
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Am almost one year on 14th of February
I got hired as a trip advisor few days ago
Am working in community which is most of them use drugs and alcohol but for today i choose to stay clean and sober as a recovery addict +1 day focusing on what really makes me comfortable qith me self and people around me am really grateful for what i have ,cause I’ve been dreaming to wake up with out i feel painful cause what ive been using am happy cause there are a place i can share with all i have in my mind no one gonna judge maybe few not gonna thank you .
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Easily the most difficult day of my sobriety so far
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Not great. Everything has been a huge struggle lately. Nothing much happened today just one of those days where even getting out of bed feels impossible. Anxiety is bad as well. Not to mention the only person who supports me is going to be unavailable for the next few days
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I’m proud of you for getting through it
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Tysm! We’ll get through it!
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Trying my best to not be stuck in my head. Overall OK, could be worse. Although my already fragile sleep has been interrupted for the 3rd day in a row with scam callers that start at 5am. I just drift off when my brain lets me, I need to silence my phone before that.
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My day was actually fairly casual. I stayed home because of the snow we had last night. I could have gone to work, but I was not feeling like getting out and driving to work in the snow. And I brought my laptop home with me yesterday so I was able to keep up with work today, even tho I have to take the day off as pto. So I guess I could vent about that but oh well. I also found out the rumors going around work about moving to a flex schedule appear to be true! I guess the plan is starting in March I’ll be able to work from home a couple days a week or choose 4 10’s. I was hoping for 3 or 4 days work from home but this will be better than nothing. I’m hoping I can switch that around so that some weeks I’m working from home 2 days and some weeks I’m on 4 10’s. When summer is here again I will be so down for 3 day weekends to do more climbing and hiking trips. It’s hard to do much of that on a 2 day weekend.
Oh there goes the dryer gotta go fold some clothes!
Bye for now…
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I’ve been struggling with this too again lately. Maybe as recovering addicts it stems partly from loss and regret and we look at others success and think what might have been if only I did/didn’t do xyz. I’ve been finding it hard to accept myself and how my life has turned out but then it’s only early days in sobriety and who knows what the future will bring if we stay positive and stop doing unhelpful things like comparing ourselves to others. Easier said than done
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Slept in until 4pm or so due to an injury I am recovering from. I take care of my parents, until all the covid stuff disappears. If it doesn’t, then I will likely never work again, lol. Can’t wear a mask without panic attacks. Trying to get stuff together so i can move to a state that doesn’t restrict just about every aspect of my life
After I woke up, I tackled the clutter that has been building up in this bonus room in my parents house. Broke down a ton of boxes that had junk in them (stuff of mine I no longer need), and threw it away. Vacuumed. Cleaned more. Did all the laundry.
I’m going to be cleaning until the 12th, constantly, energy levels willing. Gotta get that bonus room clean, completely. There’s just a ton of stuff I’ll have to ask my parents what they want done with it, as that stuff is not mine, and if it is, they might want to keep it for memories.
On the 14th, singles awareness day, I plan to treat myself and have all that cleaning done, and just relax and bask in a job well done, and cleanliness bring next to godliness. It’s my holiday every year and I watch Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and have a pint of ice cream, lol
Found out that dishwater detergent is amazing at cleaning showers and tubs…gonna be using that exclusively from now on.
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