I’m having problems with feeling intimate too! Like I mean the thought is there but I have no drive! When I was drinking I was usually highly sexually driven and now I feel like I’ve just lost it! My partner keeps getting upset at me and throwing things out like ‘you only have sex with me when you have a drink’ and I don’t know how to explain that its not that I don’t want to, I just don’t know how my head feels about anything right now. So confusing isn’t it x
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I cant say from alcohol detox but from opiate detox i had the same experience. I wanted relationships but had no drive for months after physical wds were over. Eventually it does come around. When it comes to getting newly sober you have to kinda be patient with changes to happen but they will only happen if u stay sober. I would say this is pretty normal and makes ot hard for a non addict partner to understand… Maybe you can try to comminicate and be open about it…
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i feel like i’m an odd woman out with my opinion – i hate drunk sex! truly would rather just not. i guess i feel too romantic about the situation and want to have mental clarity and “perform” my best. this has led to very few one night stands, thankfully. does anyone else dislike drunk sex? every time i talk about this with a friend, they can’t relate!
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And here’s an odd guy who agrees with you. Don’t care for it myself, and since going sober, even less so. Sober is better, in everything.
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too right.
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Haha that is the perfect gif. But yeah man I have had that same thing happen to me multiple times.
I wouldn’t say I’ve got no drive anymore. I just don’t think about it in the same way. If that makes sense.
I think it’s part of PAWS (post acute withdrawal symptoms)
At first I did loose the drive because I was just so tired after work. Things like sex just weren’t on my list of priorities. Which is mad cus I used to get upset if we didn’t do it regularly.
My wife has mentioned this. But I’ve said it’s part of the process I think.
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Om totally with you on this … i do not want that type of sex … I’m so greatful i was never the drunk type that had one night stands ! I was always running home to my drugs rather then a man’s bed ! X
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I can identify with this Jane. It’s mad, this year I can honestly say that I can count how many times my wife and I have done it on 2 hands. Probably on one actually.
But yes it’s an odd sensation, it’s not like when we first met, 28 years ago. On my part it’s awkward, feels like I’m a fumbling mess. I’m not worried about it. So I’m not letting it upset me.
Progress over perfection.
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I’m single but have put relationships on the back burner for the time being while I sort my self out.
For so long I had a really messed up view of sex, from what was expected of me, allowing myself to be used and using other people. All whilst drunk.
I remember, a long time ago, what it felt like to have sober sex with someone who meant something to me and who I felt safe and loved with, being able to melt with eachother without fear/insecurities/ego. Just being in the moment with another person. I’d rather wait until I find the right person again, but I have a fair amount of work I need to do on myself before I head into any new relationship… and I don’t even know what kind of person I’d be looking for so it’s a long way off! But it’s ok I’m cool with it. 
Hookups are gross anyway and there’s no way sober me would do anything like that 
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If you put in the work, you will find yourself in a good relationship. A healthy you, will only accept healthy people as potential mates. This is the way of things.
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The sex addict in me is getting a huge dose of reality from this thread right now.
It wants to believe that we can all have one big worldwide orgy, and that’s so not happening.
Sober sex eh? I was horrible in bed when I was drunk. Now? I’m constantly learning something new about myself when I’m making love. It’s been very interesting to say the least ^.^
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My sober sex has been great, better than it was before honestly.
Then again, I view sex as a physical act, the love should already be there so I take that for granted and don’t pay it a second thought. I don’t stay in my head about sex, what happens happens.
Hell I try to stay out of my head on most things now that I’m sober, I can talk myself into or out of anything if I let the “shitty committee” hash it out.
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