LGBTQ+ & Sober: Coming Out Later In Life

Meg, this story is so close to mine it hurts. Thank you for showing me I’m not alone.

2 Likes

You are definitely not alone. :heart:

2 Likes

We’re still here. :two_hearts:

15 Likes

This show is so very hard to watch at time but it’s life you know? Where are you streaming it from?

1 Like

No they work just fine! I wonder if I can try to find the full episodes. Also, I’m glad we have some interaction with this thread! I have been trying to connect with fellow lgbtq+ friends on here :slight_smile:

1 Like

Absolutely!

1 Like

Omg hi y’all :sob: I’m so happy about this thread and to see you all here I’m crying. I’m pansexual and have only come out to a few select friends and family members. For so long being in a relationship with a man made it feel unnecessary and uncomfortable to come out but the further along I am in sobriety it feels all the more important to my recovery and I’m just barely able to really start talking about it.

14 Likes

Yay!! I’m so happy to hear from more sober people in our community :black_heart::black_heart: and thank you for opening up to us :relaxed:

2 Likes

Also, if you ever needed someone to talk to I am here. It was really hard for me to come out to my family and I’m still not out with everyone. I think sometimes those things can be scary but we are allowed to be ourselves and have that happiness we want :rainbow::black_heart:

5 Likes

Hi everyone I hope you all are having a great day.
I’m sorry for writing this here but I would really like to ask for some advices.
My cousin yesterday talked with me and told me that he is trans and I want to help him as much as possible.
Our conversation started because I notice some things and I ask him if I continue calling her or him and he told me him. I immediately change the pronouns and we had a long conversation, I’m the first person in the family that he tells all this like I said when I introduced myself here we come from a latino conservative family and well his dad is 4 times more homophobic that my dad used to be. Everybody knows that he was a “lesbian” but his dad still treat him as if that is a lie and he is just confuse. I don’t want him to turn in unhealthy things because of all this, the thing is that I dont know the steps that he need to take from now, he pretty much works all day in his dad business and also live with them.
Thanks for reading :blush:

10 Likes

Happy to hear you’ve found the space to embrace and love yourself :blush:

  • Another Queer Woman :rainbow_flag:
10 Likes

I was here earlier on in this thread but let me say hi to you all again, and especially to you @anon42928441 ! Me myself it took till my 30th to come out as gay. My sis is a lesbian who came out after a 20 year marriage to a guy. On a side note, if I ever go back to NA, it will be to the very supportive non-dogmatic LGBTQ+ group that comes together not far from where I live. This community has its own troubles in dealing with addiction.

12 Likes

@Andy_Charlie It’s really good that he has you as a supporter in the family. I think it can be also useful for him to come out to the close friends before coming out to the parents to have some emotional support when things get really tough. He may consider moving out from his parents’ place and changing jobs in the near future, because even if the family comes to terms with this, they probably will need some time for that and it can be really hurtful and tough in the meantime.

Knowing that you’re there for him must be a huge help. Meeting with other transgender folks can be really good and validating, he can find groups on facebook. Seeing a shrink is also something worth considering. There are a lot of vlogs on youtube that can be educational either for him, for you or for his family (Jackson Bird, FinnTheInfinncible, Jammidodger, ElectricDade, Sam Switz, ClosetTransgender, Alex Bertie) or vlogs with psychological approach (The Transition Channel, DR Z PHD, Dara Hoffman-Fox). For mental health I also recommend to do some sports, soccer, boxing or martial arts are good to unleash his manliness.

I don’t know whether he has already started transitioning socially, but if not, you can help him by offering him to store his male clothes, binders, etc. at your place, so he can safely wear them and change outside his home. As long as he is safe, he can take steps to transition, for e.g. by getting a sharp haircut, wearing male clothes, binding his chest, etc.

The process of the medical transition varies from country to country, usually there is a waiting list to the gender clinic, if you get in, you get diagnosed by a psycholog, and in some countries you have to live for 1 or 2 years as your real gender prior to the hormone therapy and in the meantime you keep seeing your sexolog to report them how you’re coping. At the end of this period they do some blood tests, measure bone density, there’s a check-up at the gynecologist, and a check-up at the endocrinologist. After these you can get hormone (testosterone) in gel or shots (this changes your secondary sexual characteristics) and you can apply for the waiting list for top and/or bottom surgery and/or hysterectomy. Usually you can ask for name and gender marker change, but with that he may wait until he passes as a male. But as I said, this process can be very different depending on the state you live in.

I’m not sure if I helped. If you have any question, feel free to ask.

8 Likes

Thank you so much for answering!!
He actually show me that he brought a binder but its not his size anymore and because I’m working on clothes design I’m going to fix it and make another one.

For what he told me, he only has a few new friends and they know, he stop talking to the others when he broke up with his boyfriend, but the deal is the family. While he lives in that house he can’t cut his hair, my uncle doesn’t allow short hair, certain kind of clothes.
He even said shits to me because I have short hair.

He’s in the process of getting an apartment, we live 4 hours away but I told him that he can come and stay at my place, I will tell him to come soon that way we can go shopping. I know that my aunt wont have any problem and is going to be supportive but my uncle is the one that I’m worried, his brothers they don’t really have a relationship but his older brother that is my age and know that I’m a lesbian talked to me yesterday about him.

I’m going to ask to my therapist if she has someone that can recommend me.

Thank you @Tomek I will definitely ask you a couple of things later if is not a problem.

Pd: Sorry about my grammar :grinning::face_with_hand_over_mouth:

8 Likes

That sucks. Moving out will definitely be a great relief for him.

No problem at all, I’m happy to help.

7 Likes

Nice interview and a nice lady

7 Likes

Thank you for sharing this! :black_heart::black_heart:

1 Like

This is so important! We have to keep encouraging one another and supporting each other! :black_heart::rainbow:

8 Likes

23 Likes

Yes!! Absolutely! :clap:t3::clap:t3:

2 Likes