Love.
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We have had an outpouring of love and support and I’m so grateful for you all 
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You should deal with these situations EXACTLY how you did.
I’m not sure how you change your internal reaction/coping mechanisms… but the more accepting you are of your true self, the happier you’ll be, and the less you’ll care about other people’s opinions on who you should be, because you’ll know exactly who you are supposed to be.
Sending lots of love your way!
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Digital hugs friend.
All I can say is that this person was totally in the wrong and your feelings around the situation are valid. She did intrude. She violated your physical space, seemingly based on her own assumptions following a very inappropriate and personal inquiry.
You handled it tactfully and gracefully. Fuck 'em.
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Thank you for starting this thread. I have been married twice, both men, and only two years ago realized that I am bisexual.
Growing up, Bisexual was not something known to me. It was gay or straight, only those two options. I now know I had been suppressing my attraction to women without realizing it.
These attractions eventually started to come out while drinking, about 8 years ago. A female friend and I hooked up a couple of times. My husband was ok with it because as he later told me, he has always known I like women. But he was aware I didn’t know that about myself. At the time I explained it as “ we were drinking “.
That friend and I had a falling out and she killed herself a couple of years later. There was a lot to process and not really anyone to talk to about it.
After about six months, I got drunk and came out to my husband. That’s when he told me he already knew and he supports me taking the space to learn what that means for me. For a while I would only explore that side of me while drinking. I have only come out to my husband.
I have been sober for 33 days and am looking for a therapist. Not only for alcohol recovery and other issues, but to learn how to have a healthy relationship with my sexuality. I need to get myself right before dating women.
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If you don’t explain them how it feels, they probably aren’t even aware of it…
Just be yourself.
Not long ago an elderly male started a similar conversation with me :
“You look male, you sound male, you’re born male…”
So I just asked what his point was…
“So are you male, or female ?”
I gave him the only answer that was honest and came to mind : “no”.
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Happy New Year! 
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So I tried to “be straight”
I have always been pan/bi, but I have been struggling with my “hetero” relationship for a while.
I think over time my attraction to men is disappearing…
Is that even a thing? Or is it more likely to be that him and I aren’t right for each other?
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It is a thing. Take your time to investigate it. Generally, society gives us what things are “supposed” to look like.
I just recently came out as Bi, but in reality, it is very possible if I had grown up in a more accepting, liberally-minded environment, I may never had gone out with men. I am glad did because I have beautiful kids.
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Hello lovelies,
Just wanted to say I’m back after a hiatus. I have so much to share, and wanted to breathe new life into this amazing thread. My how it has blossomed!
Can’t wait to reconnect with you all. 
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A doc just aired on British TV (Channel 4) covering George Michael’s arrest in LA back in 1998. I’m not even sure I was out myself back then. Anyway, his comeback was legendary with this one. One love XXX
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A gay here raised in a fundamentalist Muslim family. I came out to my friends when I went away to university but then I was outed to my family by a nosy family friend. We had arguments back and forth but when I was 21, I decided to cut contact with them and live my own life. I was very close to my family so this separation was very painful and is what started me down the path of alcohol abuse.
I’m touch with my family again but I keep them at arms length. I now surround myself with queer people—all of the people I know except two are queer, I live with only queer people, I only frequent queer/queer friendly spaces.
Individually we are weak, like a single twig
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Let’s create space for LGBTQ+ and people who support us. Let’s support each other.
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Was your sexuality one of the catalysts to your addiction
?
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Hey, there’s this thread here that has many stories from the LGBTQ+ community here:
Yes, my sexuality is a big part of my alcoholism. I used so I could feel more sexually liberated, bypass my deeply conservative upbringing, dull the sexual trauma that I experienced as a child, and the shame I’ve been conditioned to feel when expressing my desire for other men. I used to find myself in random beds with random men whose names I didn’t know and I never remembered how I got there so drunk sex became a no go for me.
Around sex I am the notoriously wound up, sex averse person in my group of sexually liberated and free love friends. A few years ago, I didn’t even like my friends touching me and I would get irritated if people stepped into my “personal space.” I used to work against this in a desperate bid to change myself and fit in—I can appreciate the free love ethos of gay male culture but I’m stingy with my love and I realize that’s ok.
Coming to terms with this has helped me curb my desire for alcohol. And my friends have come to terms with this too, I just don’t go to the orgies or the sex clubs with them anymore. I like to play the role of the hard to get, mysterious guy who has funny stories but leaves before 2 am now 
Now, I’m more chill about my sexuality. Shame is a big motivator to my using and the more I’ve lessened that feeling of not being good enough, the less appealing getting fucked up out of my mind is. I’m also working through a lot of my issues around sex and intimacy and it’s my saving grace honestly. I’m happy to have a group of supportive gay male friends who understand me and help me on my journey and I wouldn’t give them up for anything.
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