I made it 28 days my first “real” attempt at being sober. After those 28 days I was able to “control” the drinking. Meaning, I could go for supper, have 1 or 2 drinks and come home without issue. I didn’t constantly think about my next drink. And then my child got into an accident. Thankfully, she will be fully ok but the whole experience for me was awful. I spiraled last weekend. She was with her other parent for the weekend and I took the emotional distress out on my liver. Come Monday morning the panic set in and I ended up in the ER with chest pains, tremors, elevated bp and just feeling like crap. Thankfully all my blood work came back ok but I’ve been struggling with left sided weakness since a few days before my binge. I’m now back to day 5 sober and struggling again. I need to do this. For me, for my child, for my relationship, finances and my job.
Just looking for a little extra support here I think. I’m not sure. It feels good to get it out
28 days! Wow, that’s a great stretch. It shows that you have it in YOU!
I wish you success on focusing on being sober for yourself. In the end, that needs to be your focus. All those other things I think just fall into place if you can just focus on that one point. You need to do this for you.
One day at a time and find that thing that makes you happy.
Wishing you the best in this great journey of sobriety that it seems very few people are fortunate enough to be aware of attaining.
I am wishing ypu so much strength for your journey. I have found the community here to be so extremely helpful, just having a place to let out emptions, feelings, seek help and read the stories/respond to others. It helps keep my brain and heart more solid, and less guided by any thoughts my brain may follow all alone. I hope you find it helps you too.
I know there is some good lit & understandings about why and how we use alcohol that helps to give us a diff perspective. Or to shift it. It can be really helpful when trying to quit to shift the way we think about life & alcohol 
wishing you all the best xo
Sorry about everything happening in your life but the reality is that your above sentence is not the way forward. You talk of a real attempt to stay sober and being able to drink 1 or 2 a day, this is not sobriety. You talk of taking control but at the first sign of trouble you had no control. I’m not being an arse I’m just pointing out facts so please rethink your strategy. 100% abstinence is the only way forward for people like us and learning new coping skills. Alcohol is not our problem it is our solution to all our problems and once we find a new solution life gets a whole lot easier no matter what it throws at us.
I wish you well on your journey 
I totally agree with Dolse71. Ive tried cutting back, not drinking till 5, drinking just a couple, just drinking beer and it always ends up in a few weeks back drinking during the day a staying a functional alcoholic again. Im on day 18 and feeling fn great. Best of luck and glad to hear ur kids doing fine. Keep us 
That was very well said. Thank you.
Sorry about the rough times lately. I also much prefer the smooth sailing times in life, and I know it always won’t be like that. Life happens. 
I am glad you and your child are okay.
28 days is a great start. I too spent a lot of time trying to figure out how I could drink successfully and many years working on that 1 or 2 drinks and being okay. I too could do that for awhile, but eventually it would be a blackout event or a screaming fight or whatever. I was never able to figure out drinking. It was a relief to give up that fantasy actually. It was hard, yes, but it took a real load of pressure off when I just let that shit go. Drinking won’t solve any hardship or make any celebration better. It will suck your soul out til you are a shell of guilt and shame and regret.
I am glad you are here and reached out and shared. Lots of wisdom to go around. Choosing the healthy and healing path is hard, but very worthwhile. 
There is so much wisdom here, it amazes me.
Thank you for such a great reply to the OP
Thanks all for the replies! The sarcasm about the “control” definitely didn’t come through the way I intended. I have zero self control once I have one. I know this and I know I need to abstain completely. I’m aiming for 2 weeks, then 30 days… it’s going to be hard. I got in to a new counselor who has been supportive and I am open with others about my unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I need to be here and be better not only for my daughter but for me.
When you can sort of “control” for a bit, it makes it even harder to fully accept that actually you can’t control it. I had many experiences thinking “look, I’m ok, I can control it, I’m ok…oh, suddenly I’m not ok” and having no idea what happened.
I am so glad your child is ok. Our child being hurt is the worst thing that could happen to a parent. But now you need to focus on your own recovery. I hope we can support each other. 
2 weeks or longer is a lofty goal to live with. I would recommend a 24 hour goal to not drink. Then come here, Check in daily, to write your promise to yourself for the next 24 hours of no alcohol. It may seem trivial, but the daily promise to oneself holds a lot of weight in our subconscious minds. And it is only a promise of one day. You can do it!!!
-Solar