Well I’ve had some counseling when I went to prison but ultimately for me my faith in Christ and practicing mindfulness and meditation helps me to balance. My natural set point is to be enraged and ver combative. I spent a long time wondering if it’s nature Vs nurture but ultimately it is what it is.
I try to grow and learn to be the best dad I can be best husband and best version of myself. But it’s not a continuous progression. A mix of covid pressures last year, not working on my mental health, moving house and focusing on materialistic stuff, living in my own head, anger building, rage building and BOOM Friday happened.
I need to take this lesson and use this clock reset as a moment reset for me.
I hope you get what you are looking for from counseling. I thank you for talking to me when I was at a very low point even with all the stuff you are dealing with yourself. That was very kind.
Funny you and I are kind of the same in ways. I guess that’s why your post the other day resonated with me so much. I also am the type of person who’s set point is to be enraged and combative and I also wondered about nature v. nurture. (because I’m Native American and grew up on an Indian reservation in Ontario Canada and at least half my family if not more has some sort of addiction problem)
I’ve always said therapy was a bunch of bull but I think maybe part of that was me giving myself an excuse not to get better… until I nearly destroyed my entire life… we shall see how it goes.
I thought you was from Glasgow . My lucozade joke would have gone over your head then. That’s basically a fizzy drink that Brits buy when they have a cold.
The native American Indian piece must add some different dynamics for you to think about given the history of booze been introduced to native Americans.
For me I’m 100% northwest European. Only thing I think regarding my ethnicity and alcohol is that Germanics and Slavs are genetically disposed to have high tolerances to be able to drink. Not sure what that means in reality other than booze is considered life itself in our cultures dating back thousands of years.
I’m just waffling but I do find that stuff interesting
Thanks to Quinny for bringing me here. A lot of this resonates with my experience with alcohol. Deep down I know I have an issue with it, I’ve never done to truly come to terms with it. I have an addictive personality, I know this. I get into something and its that or nothing. Most of the time with booze, its the nothing: I dont crave it, i don’t think about it…but even if I have one drink, I can feel myself wanting more and more. Say after a round of golf, go for a pint, if I didnt have things to do and the car, if I could just carry on drinking I would want to. I dont think that’s a normal way to behave. So where as I wanted to change my relationship with alcohol maybe what a really want/need is to give it up altogether. My biggest worry? Its not that I couldn’t do it, its how do I socialise without it? Going to football trips with friends, meals out etc, will they be ruined for me? That’s such a childish thing to think of when compared to the damage I could potentially do (as I definitely have it in myself to damage my life through drinking) but thats where I am
This is such a good topic! I literally told someone yesterday that I didn’t know if I’m an alcoholic bc I could go weeks without alcohol. I’ve been told several times I’m not Bc I can have a bottle of wine in my fridge for months and never touch it. I’ve definitely had some really bad things happen Bc of alcohol though.
It’s difficult mate. We are taught that booze is part of life from a young age. It’s literally used cradle (christening) to grave (funeral).
What is interesting is many young people are deciding to live a sober life as a lifestyle choice because they see the strangeness of it all.
I think you will be surprised howuch you can still enjoy stuff with the boys etc but you do tend to swerve the later hours once everyone is leathered because they start doing your head in so you get yourself off.
Safe in the knowledge you enjoyed the best part of the doo swerved any bullshit and will wake up Sunday morning feeling sweet as a fucking nut
Sat romanticising booze this morning. Thinking about the Smyths song ‘there is a light that never goes out’
The feeling of excitement and joy of being young and care free.
The buzz of youth, the music of your generation, feeling like life is one big party.
Truth is that for most the party has a shelf life. Some people can see that and move on with the ability to keep it to weddings and events but to a balanced level.
Me I take the lid off and drink like I’m young and not a 37 year old with a wife, two kids and a career.
Some never move on and chase there youth forever.
It’s easy to see why this happens and why we can romanticise our youth and more importantly our drinking in our youth.
You just need to take off the rose tinted glasses and remember
Bad for your finances (Taxis, Drinks, Delievering services, Inviting people you didn’t even know, tickets for urinating at the wrong places, losing things)
I was told by one person and never called her again. I told her I don’t need to drink to have a personality and I filmed her after 3 drinks while she was talking Loll and showed it to her weeks later Loll I said you see!! That’s why I don’t drink . And that was the end of it. Hang out with people that want good for you. Simple as that.
Hang in there. No more waisted days.
Wow you just described my life exactly with alcohol. I am in CA have a connection with God done the steps and sponsering other women. I am now nearly a year sober and got great new friends who really care.
Ive been thinking about how i came to this state ,and when i analysed my drinking history it became apparent that i could never control my drinking i always ended up in a blackout if it didnt that was a good night ,there have been many times throughout my life ive been able to drink moderately normally when i wasnt in social situations, i think subconsciously i kept drink at arms length because of the situations i found myself in as a result of drinking, then early 40s met a partner that drank alot i joined in ,found i couldn’t stop even after we parted ways ,in the last few years of trying to get a grip on this i know my only hope is to never pick up that first drink ,after that its just a uncontrollable urge for more more ,i dont need to understand why i just need to not pick up but this brain of mine seems to have developed an obsession with it ,im just trying to turn it in to a healthier one
My drinking was mainly half a bottle to a bottle of wine most evenings but then on a Friday to Sunday it would increase. Sometimes no problem and other times a fuckin mess. Waking up wondering what ive done.
. My lucozade joke would have gone over your head then. That’s basically a fizzy drink that Brits buy when they have a cold.
