450 days sober. Alcohol was a fucking poison for me but also brought me so much life. Happiness, confidence, turned an antisocial person outgoing and full of spirit. I’ve struggled to find this in me while I’m sober. It is what it is. I went to my first AA meeting last Wednesday in months and felt a little bit of hope. Everyone welcomed me with open arms and gave me their numbers. But I still felt like shit. All of my friends are happy and living great lives. Everyone has a girlfriend. Two of them are recently engaged. And I’m alone. No luck at all with romance not that I need it but I wish I had somebody just to hang out with. The cravings to drink have been insane lately and I’m afraid I’ll end up caving in. I hope that these meetings help me not to. I don’t know where I’m going with this just never really had a place to vent because nobody that I know seems to relate or understand. Hope everyone is doing well and having an amazing weekend
Maybe focus on what ways alcohol was a poison to you, and consider how much happiness, confidence or spirit alcohol actually brought you. The bravado that alcohol brings is really a facade, and often is not really that well received by other people. Last time I was with some regular people drinking, they were repetitive, self-important, loud, and unaware of how much they were spitting as they talked.
Happiness, confidence, spirit can be found sober. It may take work, but it will be more authentic. Brene Brown’s books are a great at learning about being authentic.
Thank you, I really needed this and you’re right about everything
It will definitely take a lot of work and I hope I’m able to dig deep and find those answers. Thank you for the reply.
450 days is massive 
I know for me around this time after the first year mark had passed it was a bit like “what now”
The dust was starting to settle and I felt a bit bored and lonely, getting to a meeting was a good idea as at least there are people there that are all trying to live sober but I also had to start expanding my life. I started volunteer dog walking as I love animals, I joined a few social groups and go out hiking etc. I needed to have more purpose to life that just staying sober.
I also realised I’m an introvert and use alcohol to be an extrovert, took a while to get my head around the fact that socialising drains me and I actually like the quieter lifestyle.
Congrats on 450 days! That is incredible 
Now, about saying alcohol brought you life 
Did it really? There was obviously a reason(or 2 or 3) you wanted to quit so maybe focus more on that instead of reminiscing on ‘the good times’. If I’m being real while looking back, I don’t remember any amazing days I had while drinking. Especially not bc I was drinking. I remember that every bad thing to ever happen to me involved alcohol in some way. I want to remember it this way. You don’t want to have to start all over bc you forgot how bad it really was.
Getting to a meeting was smart. As well as finding our community. Welcome btw 
I used to be a shy, quiet girl, lacking self confidence. Becoming that happy, confident, full spirited person while drinking was only bc I was relaxed enough to act that way. It was always in there. Nowadays I’ve realized not to take things so seriously. Stop thinking about how you think you should be and just be. Most people are too worried about themselves to even notice.
I hope you continue on your sober path and find solace in your life. All the best!
Lots of good replies here already. I certainly don’t have the answer.
I will just say I have a lot of the same thoughts as you. I used to sit at the bar talking and having a good old time. Things I could never do without alcohol. But guess what? I never met anyone. Looking back, I feel quite foolish on my antics.
It’s still a lonely existence but at least I have my dignity and I like myself now. And for that, I’m quite thankful.
I understand what you are saying.
Good of you to seek for new friends, sober ones.
Visiting AA and here will help you feel connected again and make you feel less alone.
People make friends here on TS and I’m not experienced with AA myself but I think you can make new sober friends there too.
I’m 5 years sober myself and found new friends when I started to replace my drinking with new hobbies to fill in time. That also helped me to practice my social skills.
I do not need alcohol anymore to be at a party and having fun although I still miss it sometimes. But when I think at the concequeces that’s gone too 
Boredom is a massive thing for me too. Sometimes I feel like I have no idea what to do with my life other than work and come home. I know there’s more to life than that, there’s gotta be. Being an introvert myself doesn’t help at all but I’m really happy to hear you’ve been putting yourself out there. These meetings for me are a start. Met a lot of great people.
Is it normal to miss it? I feel like every time I think about it, I miss it, but I know the consequences are no good for me.
I’m realizing this too. Never made any new friends. Just kinda became “the life of the party” so to speak. Sobriety is a beautiful thing though and it’s nice to not rely on a substance to get through the day. We all got this.
Got to start somewhere 
Have you thought about doing volunteer work for a cause you deem worthy?
It’s normal to miss something you have been used to for years. The routines, the patterns, the habits that were connected with drinking are real and it takes time to let go and replace them with new, healthy routines, new patterns to cope with life and new habits which support your interests and a fullfilled sober lifestyle. It’s many many babysteps and ODAATs, it’s work, it’s joy to experiment and find out, it’s fun to discover what makes you laugh. And it’s letting go, it’s a transition and there is a gap when you leave the old behind and the new is not already established. You can feel this gap as sadness or missing “the old days”, but that will fade when you discover and establish what comforts you and brings real pleasure to your life. On days when it feels hard I use “Fake it till you make it” and pretend I’m a happy middleaged adult with the same problems millions of others have too