Loner nature

This is great news friend. So happy for you and thank you for sharing with us.

Here’s to a new chapter in your life. Wishing you all the best :hugs:

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I wasn’t going to post again until I had made significant progress, and gained confidence in my sobriety. Much has transpired for me across these many months. I no longer live in Boulder, Colorado, but now reside in Greenville, South Carolina.

† I’ve been sober for about a month. Joined AA six days ago, and now carry a white coin. The group understands my struggle, and their cookies and coffee are the best.

† Citizens fear me and/or think I’m cool. I spend my free time at Springwood Cemetery, where I meditate, read, or wander. You’re welcome to visit. Maybe join Ghost Tours on Saturday nights.

† Pray that the Blessed Virgin keeps me safe and sober. May she crush the head of my evil under her precious holy foot.

I shall return to update you.

Sincerely yours.

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Nice to see you back and hear this :peace_symbol:

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Great to see you popping in and glad to hear that you are doing well.
:muscle:t4::pray:t4:

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Let’s make it a weekly affair.

Well. A severe storm is passing through. I’m taking shelter at the library.

An acquaintance gave me a two-way ride yesterday, and my wallet fell out of my pocket at some point. I didn’t realize this until he had driven away. I sent him texts and emails asking if it was in his SUV, but since Sunday is the sabbath, he had turned off his communications until the following morning. It was stressful, not knowing if I’d ever recover my debit card, ID, EBT, etc. I felt so stupid. There was a time not so long ago when I would’ve shoplifted liquor and drank myself into a stupor. But… I didn’t. So that’s something. Turns out my wallet was in his vehicle, and he returned it to me. I respect integrity. Might upgrade him to ‘friend’ soon.

I am writing letters of reconciliation to my former friends and family members. I cannot send these letters, for I don’t know where any of these people are anymore, and even if I did, re-initiating contact would likely result in explosive drama. Now that I’ve said that much, let me define ‘writing letters’ in this context: I sit alone at night and speak out loud, as though dictating. Some persons are now deceased. My first stepfather died in 2015, for example. And he was a major influence on the person I am now. “I’m sorry that I failed you as a son, and put you under so much stress, when you were already working hard to make ends meet. You were disappointed in me, and I don’t blame you. In your position, I would’ve been angry and disappointed.”

I apologized to my mother for mistreating her, undermining her self esteem, and being a total deadbeat across my teens and twenties.

Anyhow. Watched Abigail, the ballerina vampire movie. Blood and Tears by Danzig is stuck in my head.

bows and departs

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love it! :heart:

Glad you were able to find your wallet in tact and that the ordeal did not make you spiral out. That is huge progress.

Grateful to see your updates :hugs:

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@JazzyS Thank you for the encouragement.

Good evening. My username is vagabond, and I am an alcoholic.

I lost at life. Now at age 35, all that remains is to create something new.

“Rename the thread Loser nature, luulz”

Beat you to it.

× Currently making an earnest effort to find housing and employment. And I’m beginning to think the ‘housing first’ mentality won’t bear fruit. If this next lead doesn’t lead anywhere, I’m going to buy a sturdy pair of boots and submit to the labor force.

Doing so will cut into my Social Security. And SS is difficult to get back once it’s gone…

× Practicing the 12 Steps may reawaken your thirst for the spiritual. It is then natural to seek a mentor. But be cautious. Research teachers and gurus before taking life advice from them.

Cult leaders can at first appear as chill and caring voices, there to help you unlock your potential. They can make you feel like you’re the star of the show, the hero of the story. But if you aren’t careful, you’re instead a shmuck and a cuck.

× Random spiritual shit (imagine Teal Swan whispering huskily to you in bed): view your ego as a product of your body and its experiences and genetics. The true ‘you’ is the consciousness which peers through your senses and wears the ego/personality as a mask. It isn’t God, but an emanation of God, like the rays of the sun filling pours in an object.

When lost within a hurricane of your own angst, full of anger and despair, know that the path is always open to rise above those clouds and experience the fresh air again. Realize who you are. The same as me. now give me your debit card deets

× Next time I’ll post a photo or two of myself.

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Great post! Wishing you luck at reclaiming your new life :heart:

Hope you are able to find housing and employment. :crossed_fingers:

Appreciate your updates and looking forward to seeing pics :hugs:

Keep going no matter what.

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