Hey @Roy123 and welcome back. I don’t struggle with porn use now but I overused it in my past and I agree with you that it’s utter pish.
Hope you find some community on this very active thread PMO - Porn, Masturbation, Recovery
And you can also use the 
up top to search relevant keywords to find other threads.
One thought from someone affected by a partner’s SA: your partner deserves your best. Not what’s leftover from your addiction. This isn’t just a substance that you take or leave, this concerns her directly because it influences, (potentially as the one single most defining factor if you are “monogamous” yet you keep turning her down) her expression of her sexuality. She deserves better. At the very least she deserves opennness and honesty from you. So she can make her mind up about how much of herself to invest in this relationship.
All the best to you!